difficult child isn't doing well

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Nov 24, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi to everyone

    wow i haven't been on at all today, except once and quick. i hope everyone's day was good, and difficult child's are happy and ok. This can be such a hard time of the year for them, and hence us

    Well, i took difficult child to the dermatologist today, I lucked out and pushed for an appointment. immediately after seeing the rash on her. We are cleared I am happy to say she has some very bad rash, we got two very expensive ointments and can't shower much for the next 4 weeks, and have to use special cleansing cream. It's only in one spot and i caught it right away.

    Anyway, things past two days have been really really off with her i'm sad to say. I have noticed that each thanskgiving for some odd reason she crashes hard. I was hopeful it wouldnt' happen now with medication and therapy in place. yet today alone she had anxiety attacks all over the place. Was so so anxiety ridden in the truck on way to dr. wondering if it woudl be a woman because rash was on back of legs and near her bottom. Than we got there she wouldnt' remove her jacket or open it at all she sat still without moving for hte most part, so anxiety ridden the entire time. Almost urinated on herself in the office waiting for the dermatologist to come. Got through that, got cleared got her to show him rash she had meltdown in the public bathroom there, she wanted me in teh stall with her yet we don't do that anymore she refused to go. Got home she couldn't sit still was spinning in circles, hyper, jumpy, argumentative, listening forget about that.

    She was hard all day long, i could list all of the instances yet impossible is a good word to describe. She melted down at bedtime again hysterical crying (like she used to) over i dont' even remember. She has party at school tomorrow that i'm even going to and baking alot of stuff for she cried about that and her fears of hte party??? Fears again suddenly..... telling me she can't stay still i'm hot i feel funny something is wrong iwth me, make it stop. on and on it went. Broke down and sat on floor outside of her room just crying so i got down on floor and just held her quietly and rocked her.

    she is now downstairs on the couch infront of the t.v. believe it or not it calms her. I'm hoping to be able to put her down soon. Had medication at same time today, nothing different going on, she knows nothing of my back and forth over thanskgiving believe it or not we do all that via text because he's always at work.

    So, i'm giong to have to call the dr. tomorrow. I'm sad i wont' lie. It's been a challenging week, I was holding onto the fact that she was moving at leaps and bounds and now i see this. I have no clue how she will be in school tomorrow. It's disheartening to see her make such strides, making friends, eating lunch, going to school on time, going to be smiling all the past mos.

    so, are we doing the meltdown again?? last time it lasted for mos on end. this *****.
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Jen! She may or she may not - you can never tell. What you need to try is keeping all of the "stuff" (the planning, the shopping, the "changes") to a bare minimum.

    Try treating everything as a "casual" thing. We tend in our society to enjoy the excitement - it's fun, why not? Well, my daughter has started licking her lips again to the point that she's suffering from "chapped face". From under her nose to under her chin. It's how she shows her anxiety. That and meltdowns.

    I got her to settle down somewhat by treating everything as "casual". For example:

    "We have the feast at school tomorrow"


    "What if I don't like anything"

    "What do you do if you don't like the regular school lunch?"

    "I get a cheese sandwich"

    "So get a cheese sandwich"


    The licking stopped, the wringing hands stopped, etc.

    No matter what the excitement is, try and give her exit points. Age appropriate responses to "what ifs" etc.

    I'm getting tired, so I'm gonna hit the road in a few. Feel better hon, you need it!

  3. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I am really trying to, i am. yet one can't stop "life", other ppl talking about plans, the holidays, boyfriend's kids going on about oh it's 5 weeks till christmas, the stores all having the stuff.

    My gut is telling me a medication increase is needed. I don't know I could be wrong. Seeing her little face crying, seeing her mood switch from happy to sad the past few days, the manic behaviors again. yuck for her. She was really feeling great there for a while. it was absolutely great.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Jen, Seroquel has a tendency to be metabolized faster the longer someone takes it. My guess is that her body got used to the dose and she needs a higher dose. Please try not to despair -- she really may only need a medication adjustment.
  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    This time of year is super hard. On us and the kids!
    K had a huge breakdown tonight! "I hate you Mom" trying to break out of the car... made a bed on the floor finally, passed out.

    Do you have a PRN for her? You might ask for something for when she is really worked up and her medications just don't seem to be doing the job. Only for once in awhile. They are good for days like today. Especially if she is fairly stable and is breakdown only once a week or every 2 weeks or so.
    Maybe a medication adjustment and ask for a PRN. Or just a PRN.

    We have used Ativan, Diazapam and Risperdal
  6. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Poor thing - yet one thing I heard in this is that she is starting to recognize that something is going on (something is wrong with me, make it stop). It may still be very faint for her, but she is getting older and is beginning to see that other people do not go through what she goes through.

    She may have held on so tight to the anxiety this a.m. on her way to the dermitologist and then it all let loose.

    The meltdowns also scare her which adds to more anxiety.

    Try your very hardest to not let her see your fears. I know that the holidays are all around. Maybe take one thing each day (decorations, music, presents, special foods, cards in the mail) and talk to her about it. Explain how that one item adds to the holiday and ask that she look for that one thing for that day (or two or three days). That may help her to focus (seek out one item) and not get overwhelmed with the entire picture.

    I would start with asking her about the plans of other kids in school. "difficult child, are the other kids in school getting excited about the holidays? Do you feel that they behave differently? Do they talk about different things? What are the kids talking about today?" Their conversations might be overwhelming her and if she told you about it, you may be able to help her process it. Then on weekends, focus on other things - ask her if she has favorite Christmas music and maybe go get a CD of it. If she hears her favorite seasonal music every day, that might help?

    I don't know - I am just throwing out unfounded ideas. A medication check does seem in order.
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I believe Jen's difficult child is taking only 25 mg Seroquel. That is the starting dose for sleep problems. Mania is dosed at 300 mg to 600 mg.
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Ah, so she has room to tweak? Well that is actually nice, because that could very well be the problem if she is only on 25mg. Maybe?
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Jen, for sure do a medication adjustment and check with the doctor about a prn medication. This time of the year is so dang HARD. All the stuff around, and the kids see it and the anxiety and everything start. While I truly love Christmas, sometimes I think the season stinks. Simply because it can spin our kids out of control.

    Can you take her outside when she gets really hyper? Have her spin in the yard, or a park? Or does that make it worse?

    I am keeping my fingers crossed that it is just a sign she needs a medication tweak.

    Hugs, Susie
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi guys

    thanks for the input. you are correct smallworld she needs medication adjustment bigtime. This morning was rough, so rough. She didn't want to go to school, was starting to melt down, anxiety attack twice before in the door. Last night minimal sleep, yuck.

    It's just weird how it's everytime rather everytime this particular part of the year. I'm sick again as well, i think i've relapsed so i'm waiting to try to get into dr. yet everyone's out this week. I may have to pull er for myself later with kids. Pain in my chest is horrible, i've got vicks piled on right now with warm tea as i bake for difficult child's party this afternoon. I signed up for alot of stuff and she's counting on me to be there.

    It was the only thing i could do to get her in the door.

    thanks again. i have call into dr. today. oh get this her rash, the creams, the two ointments are $1,000 combined. Yup. Can you imagine? I almost fell over at the pharmacy. Dermatologist gave me coupon cards, in packets. I think their jerking me around because it's problem some rep trying Occupational Therapist (OT) push a new medication so they pushed it onto me. My co pay for each is $50. i can't afford that.
  11. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Jennifer, I am sorry I am late to this. I am so sorry you are feeling sad and that she is full of anxiety. :( I like Susie's suggestion. What about a prn? That might help. Poor thing. Hopefully this is just a minor setback. Try not to read toooooo much into it, maybe it is just the time of year.

    Enjoy the party. I'm sure she will be so proud to have her mommy bringing goodies to the class.

    Sending {{{HUGS}}} and positive thoughts your way. Hang in there. :)
  12. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hey bran,

    thanks! I just feel bad for her, she was really loving her "new me" thing and now she's beginning to feel that hopeless feeling again. I can see it in her face. She knows she has alot of things wrong with her. The only one we have addressed is the anxiety, i don't want to discuss all the other stuff with-o a therapist present.

    So, she knows she is "different" she has always known. yet for a mos she got to be like everyone else in a huge way, at least in her little mind. So i am really hoping that a medication increase will help her to level off. I even hate that she needs medications to live happily. ugh. ok i'm done b*tching. :)
  13. Jennifer,

    I am so sorry that difficult child is having such difficulties. I agree with the others about a prn, it might help to be able to get through.


  14. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I started to reply, and then I got distract. Those shiny objects:tongue:

    Definitely talk to psychiatrist about increasing the seroquel. I understand that the rash is not from the Seroquel, right?

    I think holidays are just too stimulating for kids. I have never had one "happy christmas" with Matthew. There are just too many school parties, family get togethers, sugar, expectations, days off from school.........the list goes on and on. We should just re-name this time period the "the melt down months".

    Hugs and prayers
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I know the holidays can be so tough. Call the dermatologist and tell them that you simply can NOT afford the medicine, can they call in something available in generic, or give you enough samples to treat the problem? The docs are USED to this, don't feel bad. Most everyone does it one time or another.

    OR get her father to pay for the medications.

    As for hating that she has to be on medications, once in a while I catch myself and become thankful that there ARE medications that can give Wiz "normalcy" and that have kept him alive. I decided LONG ago (he has now been on medications 10+ years) to be thankful that there ARE medications, rather than hating the medications. I sure don't hate the albuterol or imitrex.

    You can't change her illness. It is going to be there no matter what.

    You CAN change how you look at it and the tools you need to manage it!

    Think about that Serenity Prayer! Anyway, I hope the doctor calls back ASAP with some suggestions.

  16. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hi guys!!

    Thanks again............ yes i often become distracted also by shiny objects!! LOL Steely that was kinda funny.

    Anyway i'm increasing medication, i feel comfortable going up a little on my own, i put call into doctor and am still waiting on call back. i want to just up her tonight, yet problem shouldn't without getting his "verbal" ok on it. He's kinda useless though. I know i have alot of give room with this medication and current dose she is on.

    Ok what is an prn or rpn?? is that mostly for the sleep??
  17. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Susie i know that's such bs can you imagine that much for a cream?? total insanity.

    Christy thanks!!
  18. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Jennifer, A prn is a prescription to give as needed. When my difficult child was in the psychiatric hospital, they would give him a prn whenever his anxiety got too high for him to handle. There are many medications used as prn's.
  19. ML

    ML Guest

    She sounds like manster with all that anxiety and meltdowns. I hope it's just a matter of a little medication tweak. Bless her heart. You have a lot going on and she's likely picking up on it. These kids are little sponges with their heightened sensory perceptions. Hoping for improvement soon xo ML
  20. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Andy - thanks for explaining that. I tried doctor 2x yet he is not returning my calls and i never call this guy!! So, i left it at the same dosage and i'm just dealing.

    ML - yes you are correct, difficult child picks up on everything that surrounds her from stores filled with holiday decor, to ppl talking in the street outside to me not feeling good and trying to hide it every littel while she asks are you ok, are you ok?? yet life has to happen. boyfriend and i almost always make sure whatever debate is on the table it gets brought outside to the truck with tea. i have slipped on occassion, yet i'm truly trying.