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difficult child just makes me sick!
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 312977"><p>I'm so sorry that you are feeling such extreme stress.</p><p>Surely, it is normal to feel frustration. </p><p>Is this your older child that is having bladder control problems? Can he take medication for his? Is he seeing a therapist?</p><p>You have every right to insist that he treat you with respect and this would NOT include being cussed at. I would calmly and most assuredly let him know this.</p><p>At the same time, as best as you are able, let him know how much you appreciate it when he is behaving in a kind and appropriate manner. Be watchful of any good or positive behavior.</p><p>Would you consider family therapy? It might be beneficial.</p><p>What we have done...and it has been very helpful...is our child goes to individual therapy weekly, but then monthly we go with- her for family therapy. Studies show that Family Focused Therapy is highly successful with Bipolar Illness. Since our daughter is an adult, there is more emphasis on individual therapy, but we always make our once a month Family Therapy. It has been a helpful system.</p><p>If he is flunking out of college and has no job, I would give him a cut off time to make a change. Set up a boundary here.</p><p>If he is new to college, perhaps he should take a lighter load. However, you have a right to ask him to try his best and this includes passing his courses.</p><p>Tell him...start passing your classes or get a job. </p><p>Give him a chance or two...but let it not be a never ending situation. AT some point, draw the line...he might have to move out of your home and fend for himself if he refuses to do better.</p><p>Also, I would buy a one or two week at a time container for the medications. (It's hard to find the two week ones). If necessary, have one for day and night and label them.</p><p>For now, remind him about taking them, but do it less and less. How far away is his next birthday? Let him know that when his birthday comes around, you are not going to remind him anymore. </p><p>If he is still living with you, you might help him set up his medications in the containers periodically, but then ask him to remember to take his medication on his own. It will be a way for him to 'celebrate' his birthday.</p><p>Be a loving and caring mom, but not an enabling one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 312977"] I'm so sorry that you are feeling such extreme stress. Surely, it is normal to feel frustration. Is this your older child that is having bladder control problems? Can he take medication for his? Is he seeing a therapist? You have every right to insist that he treat you with respect and this would NOT include being cussed at. I would calmly and most assuredly let him know this. At the same time, as best as you are able, let him know how much you appreciate it when he is behaving in a kind and appropriate manner. Be watchful of any good or positive behavior. Would you consider family therapy? It might be beneficial. What we have done...and it has been very helpful...is our child goes to individual therapy weekly, but then monthly we go with- her for family therapy. Studies show that Family Focused Therapy is highly successful with Bipolar Illness. Since our daughter is an adult, there is more emphasis on individual therapy, but we always make our once a month Family Therapy. It has been a helpful system. If he is flunking out of college and has no job, I would give him a cut off time to make a change. Set up a boundary here. If he is new to college, perhaps he should take a lighter load. However, you have a right to ask him to try his best and this includes passing his courses. Tell him...start passing your classes or get a job. Give him a chance or two...but let it not be a never ending situation. AT some point, draw the line...he might have to move out of your home and fend for himself if he refuses to do better. Also, I would buy a one or two week at a time container for the medications. (It's hard to find the two week ones). If necessary, have one for day and night and label them. For now, remind him about taking them, but do it less and less. How far away is his next birthday? Let him know that when his birthday comes around, you are not going to remind him anymore. If he is still living with you, you might help him set up his medications in the containers periodically, but then ask him to remember to take his medication on his own. It will be a way for him to 'celebrate' his birthday. Be a loving and caring mom, but not an enabling one. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child just makes me sick!
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