difficult child just ran away

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by compassion, Jan 30, 2009.

  1. compassion

    compassion Member

    She got money, her phone and she is gone: when she does return, 911 will be called and she will be out of here. There is documentation of her behavior. Compassion
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O Compassion--

    I am SO, SO sorry...

    I will pray that everything turns out all right...

  3. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    You are both in my thoughts and prayers. She has put you through so much, I pray she will stay safe and be found and get the help she needs.
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Compassion - have you notified the police that she ran? If not, I would. You can report her as a missing person *and* as at-risk or whatever the terminology is in your location. Everytime my difficult child goes AWOL, a police report is made immediately because he's mentally ill and at-risk. There's no waiting period (sometimes you hear you have to wait X-number of hours - not so with mentally ill minors and/or adults, at least in Chicago).

    If I were you, I would really emphasize to the police that she has been extraordinarily unstable these past few days (at the very least) and that you were planning on having her evaluated at a hospital this afternoon.

    I have to tell you - you have really gone the extra mile and then some in trying to manage her behaviors, and helping *her* to manage her behaviors. I'm really quite in awe of your strength and stamina. I've actually felt a little guilty reading your posts because I just don't have it in me to put in that kind of focused attention with my difficult child. While my patience has improved over the years, your efforts just put me to shame. Please, no matter what kind of stuff your daughter throws your way, know that you are one truly outstanding parent for her.

    I hope she's found soon. A gentle hug to you.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry.
    I hope she is safe.
    That's about all we can hope, because she's done this so many times.
    Take care of yourself.
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am sending you all the cyber support I have.
    Hang in there.......we are here for you.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I just went back and read your recent response to the other thread.
    I think she had planned this and that's why she "agreed" to take medications and go to AA, to get you to back off.
    SOOOoooo sorry. :(
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You can call 911 now and tell them that she;s unstable and they will look for her- make sure they know she's BiPolar (BP) and that you are trying to get her to psychiatric hospital.
  9. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    One other thing - in your other thread, you mention that NAMI told you that you would have to transport her to a psychiatric hospital after she is stabilized at local hospital. Never in the last 11 years of hospitalizations with my son has that ever been the case. It's been the exact opposite - stabilizing hospitals (there have been ... I think 3 different ones over the years) have all refused to relase him to my custody for transport. He's always been transported via ambulance. I believe it's a liability for the stabilizing hospital to release a patient who has been deemed ill enough for admission to anyone other than an ambulance for transport.

    Just my experience, but hopefully that will calm your worries a bit when she's found.
  10. compassion

    compassion Member

    She called just now: she is doing what she wants:at band practice. Compssion
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member


  12. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm just sending you hugs right now and some support.
  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I don't even know what to say, Band Practice?!
    I am just so sorry and gobsmacked.
    Please,please,please take care of yourself.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    compassion, I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand the "roller coaster" you are on. I urge you to get her in a psychiatric hospital or start taking steps to get something rolling now. I doubt this will get better without something else siince she hasn't been taking her medications.
  15. compassion

    compassion Member

    My husband was to pick her up at 10 last night: he called her at 9:30 and she hung up. I am not exactly sure what time she came back. It was after 3AM.Band practice for her is playing music. She sings and is actually very talented musician and artist. I just donot trust that there is not drinking/drugs going on. It is basically sex, drugs and rock and roll scene.
    Today, husband was already to take her to NA meeting and then to Midevil Fwire (the plan for weeks). He came up to get his backpack and she was gone.
    I decided earleir today that I needed to take care of me. Thanks, all for mentioning this over and over. I am to chair a meeting that was planned months ago at 4:30 and it will take a me a few hours to prepare agenda, make copies, etc. plus I need some down time. It took me hours yesterday packing her bag, contacting hosipitall, the p-doctor(never heard back from her: office said you have appointment. on Tuesday), getting documentton together
    I feel we are in the process of getting her to phospital and then on to long term treatment. She is terrified, running from herself is the main thing.
    I am hoping she wil lgo to psychiatrist for our appointment. Tuesday, she can assess her and take her down to hospital from there. This p-doctor is affiliated with this hopital and also is the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for this area. I would prefer not having the trauma of 911. Currently we are enjoying some unusual peace and quiet right now. If she does contact me, will stick with boundaries of going to meetings and medievl faire today. I want to saty as calm as possible.
    husband was jsut getting ready to give her medications before she bolted.
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I've got my fingers crossed for you. I really, really want her to go to the psychiatric hospital.
    I hope your mtng goes well and that you can focus.
  17. dpicolet

    dpicolet New Member

    Hoping the best for you Compassion. Having just went through this with our difficult child we certainly understand. We did call 911 all three times he ran away in the past 40 days both to help find him and to create a trail of paperwork. I hope this doesn't continue, but if it does feel free to seek us out for support and perhaps advice.

    Best wishes...
  18. compassion

    compassion Member

    Dpicolet, Thanks. She has done this dozens of times but since I have been on this board since Thanksgiving she was attending AA , taking medications and not running. She stopped takig medications over 2 weeks ago and is back to substance abuse and running and she is unmedicated biploar. I am on here mulitple time daily besides very acitve in Al-Anon and another 12 step group. It is a painful long process. I also have a very deep faith and am being guided and strenthened daily. Thanks for caring. We are taking care of ourselves. husband is exhasuted. I am enjoying the quiet. Compassion
  19. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending hugs and support Compassion. I'm so sorry that she's continuing in this destructive path.

    By the time our difficult child seriously ran away she was nearly 18 and so, even though I knew she was with pond scum, I also knew it was out of my hands. At 15, I realize that is completely different. I'm sorry.

    I hope you're able to find peace and she gets the help she needs. Hugs~

  20. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending support from this end do. Please do call the police and report her missing if she has run .. a previous poster was correct, YOU will not be responsible for transportation to a psychiatric hospital from an ER. They wouldnt even let us transport my grandson to another hospital for admission for asthma, it's simply not allowed. Don't worry about your difficult child not agreeing to hospitalization, the police/crisis team can obtain a court order for that. The fact she is so violent to you and your husband, with a clear diagnosis is and refusal to take medications, is enough to constitute a "danger to herself and others.

    Hope this can get resolved quickly so you can exhale a bit.