welcometowitsend
Member
So I got home from a weekend away with easy child (dance competition) and difficult child asks if he can go spend the night at his girlfriends house - today is a PD day so they have no school. husband and I discussed it and decided that although he chose to live there for a month we will not be allowing him to spend nights there. It goes against my morals and it certainly isn't something we would allow our easy child daughter to do when she is 16.
We told him he could go there until midnight (curfew is usually 11pm) and we would pick him up and then he could go back over during the day today if he wanted to (her brother will be home). He was angry but I thought he was resigned to accepting it. Well, that was until his girlfriend got wind of it. I wasn't back home 5 minutes after dropping him off when the phone rang. difficult child and girlfriend have decided that I'm being f'ing disrespectful because I've f'd their weekend. What?! They had plans (which I didn't know about until 5:30 last night) and I have ruined them.
I told him I was sorry he felt that way but I'd made my decision and I would pick him up at midnight. Then he wants me to discuss it with girlfriend. Ah, no. I don't need to discuss anything with girlfriend, this conversation is over, goodbye. He calls back several more times - he spoke to both myself and husband - you would have been proud - we totally kept our cool.
Eventually he calls a final time (at around 10:45pm) and informs me that he and girlfriend have decided that he won't be coming home tonight. I said well, I hope you understand that there are consequences for disobedience and that you agreed to follow the rules. Wants to know what the consequences are so I tell him he will be grounded. I will have to discuss how long with husband and that we will be discussing this entire matter with the counsellor at our appointment on Wednesday. So then he tells me that he will NOT be grounded and says can I tell you one more thing? And I say as long as it's not disrespectful - so he says "Well, never mind then." I think he was about to call me the b word. Nice - and he thinks I am verbally abusive?
During this evening long ordeal he informs me that girlfriends parents agree with him that he should be able to do what he wants. I felt like saying - Well, maybe you should move back in with them seeing as you all get along so well.
So, I am not going to call him today, he can call me and he can find his own way home. His ride left at midnight last night. Maybe girlfriend's parents can cart his butt home seeing as they like him so much. Or he can ride his bike home which is still at their house. He will be grounded when he gets home, whether he likes it or not. And I guess if he doesn't then he'll have to go back to girlfriend's place.
Girlfriends mother is moving in with her boyfriend (a military man) and the girlfriend and her brother are going with the mother. So I guess difficult child has a few choices... he will either move in with the mother and her military man boyfriend (hahahahaha!!!! bet he'll love that) or he can live with girlfriends dad - which would be very weird. Or, I guess he has the other option of coming here and following the rules.
Well, then there is the 4th option which I think he was planning on doing anyway (I honestly think he just came home to bide his time) - which is waiting for difficult child friends #1 and #2 to get jobs. difficult child apparently has a job that starts at the end of June. Then the 3 difficult child's can move in together.
This is just so surreal sometimes I can't believe it's actually happening. I mean, I know he's a teenager but seriously, is there no common sense in that head of his?
We told him he could go there until midnight (curfew is usually 11pm) and we would pick him up and then he could go back over during the day today if he wanted to (her brother will be home). He was angry but I thought he was resigned to accepting it. Well, that was until his girlfriend got wind of it. I wasn't back home 5 minutes after dropping him off when the phone rang. difficult child and girlfriend have decided that I'm being f'ing disrespectful because I've f'd their weekend. What?! They had plans (which I didn't know about until 5:30 last night) and I have ruined them.
I told him I was sorry he felt that way but I'd made my decision and I would pick him up at midnight. Then he wants me to discuss it with girlfriend. Ah, no. I don't need to discuss anything with girlfriend, this conversation is over, goodbye. He calls back several more times - he spoke to both myself and husband - you would have been proud - we totally kept our cool.
Eventually he calls a final time (at around 10:45pm) and informs me that he and girlfriend have decided that he won't be coming home tonight. I said well, I hope you understand that there are consequences for disobedience and that you agreed to follow the rules. Wants to know what the consequences are so I tell him he will be grounded. I will have to discuss how long with husband and that we will be discussing this entire matter with the counsellor at our appointment on Wednesday. So then he tells me that he will NOT be grounded and says can I tell you one more thing? And I say as long as it's not disrespectful - so he says "Well, never mind then." I think he was about to call me the b word. Nice - and he thinks I am verbally abusive?
During this evening long ordeal he informs me that girlfriends parents agree with him that he should be able to do what he wants. I felt like saying - Well, maybe you should move back in with them seeing as you all get along so well.
So, I am not going to call him today, he can call me and he can find his own way home. His ride left at midnight last night. Maybe girlfriend's parents can cart his butt home seeing as they like him so much. Or he can ride his bike home which is still at their house. He will be grounded when he gets home, whether he likes it or not. And I guess if he doesn't then he'll have to go back to girlfriend's place.
Girlfriends mother is moving in with her boyfriend (a military man) and the girlfriend and her brother are going with the mother. So I guess difficult child has a few choices... he will either move in with the mother and her military man boyfriend (hahahahaha!!!! bet he'll love that) or he can live with girlfriends dad - which would be very weird. Or, I guess he has the other option of coming here and following the rules.
Well, then there is the 4th option which I think he was planning on doing anyway (I honestly think he just came home to bide his time) - which is waiting for difficult child friends #1 and #2 to get jobs. difficult child apparently has a job that starts at the end of June. Then the 3 difficult child's can move in together.
This is just so surreal sometimes I can't believe it's actually happening. I mean, I know he's a teenager but seriously, is there no common sense in that head of his?