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General Parenting
difficult child Lied Again and Now SO May be breaking up with-me
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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 51513" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Steph, I'm really sorry. This has to be a difficult situation for you to find yourself in.</p><p></p><p>I think the old analogy of how a child feels when a new sibling is brought home from the hospital holds true here. Imagine that you are married and your "husband" brings home a new "wife." He expects you to welcome her, care for her and love her right off the bat. But you feel intense jealousy because the new "wife" is taking attention and love away from you. This is how the child feels when a new sibling enters the picture, and I have to believe this is how Sabrina feels about SO, even though he has been in your life for quite a while. And I don't think it matters to Sabrina how much SO is doing for her -- in fact, she may even feel that he is trying to buy her love.</p><p></p><p>I honestly don't think spanking, grounding and writing apology letters for a week (although one heartfelt apology letter may go a long way in helping Sabrina understand that her actions can hurt others) is going to change the way Sabrina feels. She feels what she feels. But it's important to help her learn a less maladaptive way of dealing with her feelings than she's practicing now. I do think talking with her about her feelings and getting her into counseling may be a better route to take.</p><p></p><p>Sending many gentle hugs your way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 51513, member: 2423"] Steph, I'm really sorry. This has to be a difficult situation for you to find yourself in. I think the old analogy of how a child feels when a new sibling is brought home from the hospital holds true here. Imagine that you are married and your "husband" brings home a new "wife." He expects you to welcome her, care for her and love her right off the bat. But you feel intense jealousy because the new "wife" is taking attention and love away from you. This is how the child feels when a new sibling enters the picture, and I have to believe this is how Sabrina feels about SO, even though he has been in your life for quite a while. And I don't think it matters to Sabrina how much SO is doing for her -- in fact, she may even feel that he is trying to buy her love. I honestly don't think spanking, grounding and writing apology letters for a week (although one heartfelt apology letter may go a long way in helping Sabrina understand that her actions can hurt others) is going to change the way Sabrina feels. She feels what she feels. But it's important to help her learn a less maladaptive way of dealing with her feelings than she's practicing now. I do think talking with her about her feelings and getting her into counseling may be a better route to take. Sending many gentle hugs your way. [/QUOTE]
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