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difficult child lost her job and wants us to "lend" her money . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 359832" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>My Oldest has lost job after job over the years, and has always managed to find another. She always has a big dramatic story about how it wasn't her fault. I don't give her money to tide her over, although I've occasionally bought her groceries, and I do buy her medical (ostomy) supplies. Honestly, she finds friends to "mooch" off of for places to sttay and money, there is always someone (usually a new friend) willing to help her out. Once she got used to me not helping, she figured it out and stopped asking .. but it took some time. </p><p></p><p>Honestly, I think she is throwing out the "when I got back to school" thing as a ploy to make you think she's "doing the right thing." If she wants to go to school, she will have to work full time and go part-time, like so many other people do. Don't let her use that as a carrot to make you feel like she's going to change her life, therefore you should "help" her until she gets through it. been there done that before. She sounds SO much like my Oldest when she was at her worst.. and I can tell you that with years of detachment practice and NOT helping her, she has improved as far as her treatment of me and her sense of entitlement. I kicked her out at her worst at 19, she is now 26. </p><p></p><p>Stand strong. And do look into buying/borrowing that book I mentioned awhile back, the "Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder" ... I found it immensely helpful. </p><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274450875&sr=8-1" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274450875&sr=8-1</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 359832, member: 1157"] My Oldest has lost job after job over the years, and has always managed to find another. She always has a big dramatic story about how it wasn't her fault. I don't give her money to tide her over, although I've occasionally bought her groceries, and I do buy her medical (ostomy) supplies. Honestly, she finds friends to "mooch" off of for places to sttay and money, there is always someone (usually a new friend) willing to help her out. Once she got used to me not helping, she figured it out and stopped asking .. but it took some time. Honestly, I think she is throwing out the "when I got back to school" thing as a ploy to make you think she's "doing the right thing." If she wants to go to school, she will have to work full time and go part-time, like so many other people do. Don't let her use that as a carrot to make you feel like she's going to change her life, therefore you should "help" her until she gets through it. been there done that before. She sounds SO much like my Oldest when she was at her worst.. and I can tell you that with years of detachment practice and NOT helping her, she has improved as far as her treatment of me and her sense of entitlement. I kicked her out at her worst at 19, she is now 26. Stand strong. And do look into buying/borrowing that book I mentioned awhile back, the "Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder" ... I found it immensely helpful. [url]http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274450875&sr=8-1[/url] [/QUOTE]
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difficult child lost her job and wants us to "lend" her money . . .
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