Good Morning Everyone, Hope everyone is having a good week!!
So on Tuesday, difficult child and social met for the first time. He was a little nervous, he wouldnt talk to me about it but I could tell he was a little off. I wasnt sure how things would go down, but we talked, she talked to him about random things, and she asked about our weekend, told her the fun, good and bad. We talked, and in not too much detail, about the tball chasing around the car with easy child and neighbor watching incident. difficult child was playing and also listening because he kept interupting me with corrections or comments. She was would ask him questions about why he did or said certain things. I was so happy that he answered her, and told her the truth. I was so afraid he was either going to shut down, or not tell the truth. But he answered her as best as he could, sometimes he didnt have an answer but that was OK. The one thing he said and I almost lost it was we touched upon the "I HATE YOU" comments, and she asked, is that how you really feel about mummy and daddy when your mad, and he said yes, then she asked after are your feelings the same? he didnt quite understand that so I explained in a way that I knew he would get, I said "when your not angry with mummy and daddy and your happy, do you still hate us or not" He answered I still hate you guys, i always hate you. That hurt more than I thought it would. I know when he screams it, he doesnt mean it, and that used to hurt but now it just goes in one ear and out the other. But when he ever said I always feel like that it hurt bigtime.
She told us that when he gets angry she wants me to try and tell him that this is where mummy gets worried about your anger, why dont we go and talk about it, or give him a simple option. He agreed then, but not so much in the moment. He was I dont care what you feel, I dont care what social worker said, blah blah blah. I am so lost and confused what to do in his rages, I have so much in my head I forget what I am supposed to do or try. I also noticed that he rages at the most trivial things and growls and says I hate you, has a little fit, and its over. Could it be habit for some things? He comes out of these rages so much quicker I wonder if its out of habit.
So on Tuesday, difficult child and social met for the first time. He was a little nervous, he wouldnt talk to me about it but I could tell he was a little off. I wasnt sure how things would go down, but we talked, she talked to him about random things, and she asked about our weekend, told her the fun, good and bad. We talked, and in not too much detail, about the tball chasing around the car with easy child and neighbor watching incident. difficult child was playing and also listening because he kept interupting me with corrections or comments. She was would ask him questions about why he did or said certain things. I was so happy that he answered her, and told her the truth. I was so afraid he was either going to shut down, or not tell the truth. But he answered her as best as he could, sometimes he didnt have an answer but that was OK. The one thing he said and I almost lost it was we touched upon the "I HATE YOU" comments, and she asked, is that how you really feel about mummy and daddy when your mad, and he said yes, then she asked after are your feelings the same? he didnt quite understand that so I explained in a way that I knew he would get, I said "when your not angry with mummy and daddy and your happy, do you still hate us or not" He answered I still hate you guys, i always hate you. That hurt more than I thought it would. I know when he screams it, he doesnt mean it, and that used to hurt but now it just goes in one ear and out the other. But when he ever said I always feel like that it hurt bigtime.
She told us that when he gets angry she wants me to try and tell him that this is where mummy gets worried about your anger, why dont we go and talk about it, or give him a simple option. He agreed then, but not so much in the moment. He was I dont care what you feel, I dont care what social worker said, blah blah blah. I am so lost and confused what to do in his rages, I have so much in my head I forget what I am supposed to do or try. I also noticed that he rages at the most trivial things and growls and says I hate you, has a little fit, and its over. Could it be habit for some things? He comes out of these rages so much quicker I wonder if its out of habit.
I dont want this for him, yet if it makes him "better" and he feels the change for the better, bring it!! Social worker tried to explain to us how he feels and thinks during these episodes, I feel horrible to think he is going through all this at 6 years old and not knowing whats going on how to handle it. I HATE HATE HATE HATE IT!!
No one wants to put their kid on medications. It is such a difficult decision to make. It helps to look at it just like any other 'disease' that a child may have - leukemia, diabetes, poor vision. I doubt you wuld hesitate to medicate or correct any of those.
