difficult child moved out the day after high school graduation

[DammitJanet]

Getting disability with bipolar is more difficult than one would think but then just getting disability is difficult. I believe the turn down rate is somewhere in the percentage rate of 70% for the first time. It took me over 3 years to get approved for disability and I have both bipolar and physical disabilities. There is a list of things that are supposed to be "shoe in's" for approval and if you went down the list, I had like 5 out of the first top 15. I still got denied until we went to hearing. Though it does seem like kids just out of school are getting it somewhat easier. People in their 30's and 40's have a harder time and then over 50 and into 60 it gets easier especially if your education doesnt mesh well going into another career.

 

[BusynMember]

Jaysus, Janet. That's unreal!

I didn't even think about getting disability. I went to the Department of Vocational Rehab and they won't even see you until you go to their neuropsychologist first, have a work assessment, then file for social security, which nobody expects to get. So I jumped through all the hoops and ended up getting social security on my first try, although I hadn't even really gone there for that reason. I have a friend who works at disability who told me what I put down in my post. Maybe I just am so pathetic they HAD to give it to me or else it's different in each state. This was a while ago too. Not that many people were applying at the time.

I had no physical disabilities. Seems like they really messed you around!

 

[tryagain]

MidwestMom - you have amazing intuition. I have had these very same thoughts. The main reason that I hope she's denied disability "right out of the gate" is because she hasn't even TRIED to work. The psychiatrist says she has low self-esteem (probably from all the struggles in school) and, once she hit middle school, has always been the type to hesitate and back out of things. She was a very confident little girl before school started getting to her and the mood disorder started emerging in middle school also. difficult child is a beautiful, very talented young woman with so much to offer, if given the right opportunity, time, and place. I've watched her work with children and she is quite good. She also makes amazing art, very out-of-the-box and unique. She also could definitely succeed in community college art classes; if she'd just enroll in ONE class, I'd be happy because it would get her away from Mr. Wonderful part of the day and have a chance to meet some new people. She's turning into a recluse out in the woods with this guy. I looked at our phone bill just to get an idea of who she's even talking with these days, and she rarely talks or texts anyone on the phone. Just busy rebelling and fantasizing that "they" are living "their" own life "on their own" when the reality is that they're sponging off his step-parent's friend. So depressing to think about. Thanks for the input.

 

[buddy]

Hi. This is not my parenting area but I was reading this and thinking if I was a difficult child in your difficult child's situation .....I'd want you for a mom. Our difficult child's would not agree I bet sometimes ....but we really are their biggest cheerleaders.

Sounds like your gut is sending you signals that are best for your daughter's situation. It is tough but you are hanging in there. (LOL hoping the phone is a basic limited minutes phone ). I think the car solution is actually good out of the box thinking at this point. If you find it's being used for illegal things or only he is using it etc.....you might reconsider but for now she will learn how expensive it is. If it needs repairs maybe she should have to do that too. ????

Hugs. Hope the romance wears off. This actually might be the best time to learn this kind of lesson. Way better than after paying for classes ....hopefully this will end up a motivating experience.

 

[BusynMember]

Thank you very much, but it comes from experience. I was very verbally astute and gifted in some creative areas. I could always ace an interview and get hired. But then the boss would wonder why it took me a long time to catch on or wonder why I couldn't remember things well and had to take slow, long notes. I was mistake prone too. They don't cut you any slack at work unless you are coming from the Dept. of Vocational Rehab (which I highly recommend). They help young adults with disabilities get jobs and the workplace is aware that the person may need extra help, whether it is more time or a job coach. My son is going through DVR. I love them.

You may want to look them up...there is probably stuff about your local Dept. of Vocational Rehab on the internet. She may be less resistant to a place like that. She can also take one course while she is working at least part time. Maybe she is afraid of all the reading she will have to do for the class...make sure she knows that a community college will usually accommodate dyslexia.

The workplace is another issue. Maybe she's afraid they'll get angry at her for having trouble reading at work. That's where a place like DVR comes in. They WILL care if she can't read or comprehend as fast as other people unless they understand.

Huggles....keep us posted on your daughter. I don't really think she will end up marrying Mr. Wonderful. Maybe she just thinks "He's a loser, just like me." Sadly, I would understand if she did, even though she is NOT a loser. She may think she is.

 

[tryagain]

Buddy, your kind words were a real comfort to me. I have a positive update today - difficult child came home for 6 hours today for Father's Day, which included going to church with us, which I wasn't expecting but was very happy about. She apologized for bailing out on the community college tour. As I might have known - Mr. Wonderful was mad about something and was ugly to her - so that is how she handled it - sabotaged her tour with her beloved sibling (who also came today, which was so nice). Her tactful sibling offered to take her to see the school on just an informal basis, which appealed to her. She really wants to look into the program. I am glad to see the mood swing back to a more balanced one. She sees the psychiatrist tomorrow and asked if I would be coming to talk with the doctor following her visit with him, and I said I would. I am thankful that her mood was greatly improved today and she is at least thinking a bit toward her future plans - but she is still sticking to Mr. Wonderful for the present. I will heed the words of wisdom on this site and just watch from the wings.

 

[tryagain]

Hi again Midwestmom, please see my reply to Buddy. Thank you for asking for an update and for the support; I know that this forum is going to be great therapy for me and I certainly plan to be there for you guys, too.