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difficult child moved out
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 382489" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Is this your 16dd? Should that be updated to 18 or is it legal for her to move out at 16? </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Anyway, about letting go. I suggest reading CoDependent No More - it will help you to shift your focus away from her and her business and back to you and yours. You have to STOP yourself from looking at phone records and from driving yourself crazy wanting to know every inch of her business. Believe me, I know - been there done that with both my daughters. And let me tell you, once you are free from the 'need to know', it is soooooooo lovely and freeing. Suddenly, you have time to pursue your own interests and enjoy just being in your home and doing things for yourself and the quiet and peacefulness, just fabulous. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I wish there were groups similar to Al Anon for parents of difficult children, but it could be the next best thing for you, if you're open to it and instead of applying the methodology as if difficult child were an alcoholic, you simply follow the steps to being less codependent. I know that reading through and working through the steps (most of them), for me, helped not only with my H but with everyone else in my life from my difficult child to easy child to my sisters and coworkers. Check it out on line if you're interested.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">It's is nice when they leave the nest without any strife or conflict, as my easy child did. When I asked about seeing the place, she initially seemed like she didn't want us to see it, but after the first week she invited us over. Of course, when we arrived, the boyfriend was there and we left after only a brief visit - there was nothing to see or talk about as she's sharing a condo with a couple (strange). It would disturb me also that your daughter isn't giving you her address. However, that's her choice, immature as it seems to us, and you just have to live with it for now. Either things will crumble and she'll come back home or, quite possibly, this will be her stepping off point to full fledged adulthood! Hugs, be good to yourself.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 382489, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Is this your 16dd? Should that be updated to 18 or is it legal for her to move out at 16? [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Anyway, about letting go. I suggest reading CoDependent No More - it will help you to shift your focus away from her and her business and back to you and yours. You have to STOP yourself from looking at phone records and from driving yourself crazy wanting to know every inch of her business. Believe me, I know - been there done that with both my daughters. And let me tell you, once you are free from the 'need to know', it is soooooooo lovely and freeing. Suddenly, you have time to pursue your own interests and enjoy just being in your home and doing things for yourself and the quiet and peacefulness, just fabulous. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I wish there were groups similar to Al Anon for parents of difficult children, but it could be the next best thing for you, if you're open to it and instead of applying the methodology as if difficult child were an alcoholic, you simply follow the steps to being less codependent. I know that reading through and working through the steps (most of them), for me, helped not only with my H but with everyone else in my life from my difficult child to easy child to my sisters and coworkers. Check it out on line if you're interested.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]It's is nice when they leave the nest without any strife or conflict, as my easy child did. When I asked about seeing the place, she initially seemed like she didn't want us to see it, but after the first week she invited us over. Of course, when we arrived, the boyfriend was there and we left after only a brief visit - there was nothing to see or talk about as she's sharing a condo with a couple (strange). It would disturb me also that your daughter isn't giving you her address. However, that's her choice, immature as it seems to us, and you just have to live with it for now. Either things will crumble and she'll come back home or, quite possibly, this will be her stepping off point to full fledged adulthood! Hugs, be good to yourself.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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