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difficult child....newborn....chores?
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<blockquote data-quote="Masta" data-source="post: 139570" data-attributes="member: 308"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I need some good advice when it comes to handling my difficult child (19yrs) who is now living with us till she can get on her feet.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">difficult child does procrastinate, I totally took over for her this week coz her baby was taken (refer to my other post). But when do I stop doing everything that needs to be done. I am taking into consideration she has been through a lot this week.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I am also thinking I helped her out by taking her in a week before the birth (coz she left her hubby) and told her this would happen with her hubby and gave her advice back then to leave him. she didnt. her pregnancy and marriage to a guy she just met was totally nuts. She said she doesnt mind sacrificing to have the baby and hubby. Seems like my hubby and I have been sacrificing.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">This whole situation has cost us approx $2.5 this week. difficult child hasnt worked since she was pregnant. Her hubby financially got them in debt and never paid anything.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My biggest problem is that.. difficult child is exercising her rights coz she is a mom and an adult. She has already started talking to old male friends on the phone. Asking them to hang out. She said she doesnt mind going out late at night when her friends get off work (she will take the baby with her). This morning I told her she needs to be careful.. first of all she doesnt know if she is being watched.. to make some sort of case against her.. 2nd I dont want her friends here late at night its our home. 3rd if she can hang out she can start doing some of the calling I have been doing for her.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">She doesnt chase up things that need to be done. I dont thinks she knows what needs to be done.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">She is a good mom. She doesnt leave her babies side. She wont go anywhere without him. </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My concern is when is it a good time to introduce rules and what sort of rules do I introduce. She did say today she is waiting for me to give her things to do.. but on the next breath she said she should be recovering. (she has an infected uterus). </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My thoughts are if she can hang out she can do chores too.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">My difficult child is one of the laziest.. untidy, unorganized, sometimes not a very clean person. Im a super neat freak. I know we will clash soon just coz I am used to running my household to be very organized (I do have 3 boys at home helping me keep the home clean). My hubby doesnt hesitate to say sarcastic remarks if he doesnt like what he sees.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">I dont know when to suggest difficult child get a job. Should I babysit? Her hubby has to pay half of childcare etc.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #000000">So moms who have kids at home with their own kids help me please make some guidelines. difficult child has no money or transportation.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Masta, post: 139570, member: 308"] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I need some good advice when it comes to handling my difficult child (19yrs) who is now living with us till she can get on her feet.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]difficult child does procrastinate, I totally took over for her this week coz her baby was taken (refer to my other post). But when do I stop doing everything that needs to be done. I am taking into consideration she has been through a lot this week.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I am also thinking I helped her out by taking her in a week before the birth (coz she left her hubby) and told her this would happen with her hubby and gave her advice back then to leave him. she didnt. her pregnancy and marriage to a guy she just met was totally nuts. She said she doesnt mind sacrificing to have the baby and hubby. Seems like my hubby and I have been sacrificing.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]This whole situation has cost us approx $2.5 this week. difficult child hasnt worked since she was pregnant. Her hubby financially got them in debt and never paid anything.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My biggest problem is that.. difficult child is exercising her rights coz she is a mom and an adult. She has already started talking to old male friends on the phone. Asking them to hang out. She said she doesnt mind going out late at night when her friends get off work (she will take the baby with her). This morning I told her she needs to be careful.. first of all she doesnt know if she is being watched.. to make some sort of case against her.. 2nd I dont want her friends here late at night its our home. 3rd if she can hang out she can start doing some of the calling I have been doing for her.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]She doesnt chase up things that need to be done. I dont thinks she knows what needs to be done.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]She is a good mom. She doesnt leave her babies side. She wont go anywhere without him. [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My concern is when is it a good time to introduce rules and what sort of rules do I introduce. She did say today she is waiting for me to give her things to do.. but on the next breath she said she should be recovering. (she has an infected uterus). [/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My thoughts are if she can hang out she can do chores too.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]My difficult child is one of the laziest.. untidy, unorganized, sometimes not a very clean person. Im a super neat freak. I know we will clash soon just coz I am used to running my household to be very organized (I do have 3 boys at home helping me keep the home clean). My hubby doesnt hesitate to say sarcastic remarks if he doesnt like what he sees.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]I dont know when to suggest difficult child get a job. Should I babysit? Her hubby has to pay half of childcare etc.[/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#000000]So moms who have kids at home with their own kids help me please make some guidelines. difficult child has no money or transportation.[/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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