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difficult child....newborn....chores?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 139665" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Masta, </p><p></p><p>If you re-read what you wrote and take out all the I think my daughter statements - you are left with </p><p></p><p>I have a 19 year old daughter who is not facing her responsibilities as a Mother completely because she is already talking to other men, making plans to go out late at night with infant (NEWBORN) in tow, and isn't thinking about a job, paying us back the $2.5 we spent for HER mistakes - and is skirting the rules of my house. </p><p></p><p>You are not going to make her listen. You can't use the baby issue to force her to doing what she wants. </p><p></p><p>Yes - she is most definitely being watched, yes, she should spend time with her child. Yes - if she screws up that baby is going to go live with psycho x and his great family - yes, you are going to have problems without rules, yes you may end up raising this child - but how many do you want to raise? You have to draw your line in the dirt sometime- and to do that with a difficult child and a difficult child's baby? You better get a BIG stick for the line drawing - </p><p></p><p>LAY DOWN THE LAW AND STICK TO IT LIKE GLUE. </p><p></p><p>1.) NO NO NO going out late night with friends - PERIOD - he has a baby and YOU ARE NOT A BUILT IN BABY SITTER. YOU gave them a home not a right to **** on you at will. </p><p>2.) CHORES WILL BE DONE - NO IFs ans or butts </p><p>3.) SHE ALREADY knows she can't do the rent, utilities, etc - so you are - if she doesn't appreciate that - then cut your ties now OR accept that this is the stressful life you have chosen by allowing her to come back with a baby. </p><p></p><p>YOU don't have to do A THING - YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING and it needs to stop right now. I tell my kid all the time - YOU ARE NOT THE PRINCE of the world - and your daughter isn't the PRINCESS - so stop allowing her to behave like you are only there to do for her. </p><p></p><p>4.) YOU WILL GET A JOB - YOU WILL PAY ME AND YOU WILL SET MONEY BACK EACH PAY FOR YOU AND THE BABY - </p><p>5.) THERE WILL BE NO DRINKING WHILE YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING</p><p></p><p>6 - IF YOU BREAK ANY OF THESE RULES we will file a petition with an attorney and have your parental rights severed. </p><p></p><p>END OF STORY - </p><p></p><p>(something like that) and MEAN IT! Clearly you have the upper hand here - use it to your advantage</p><p></p><p></p><p>I am so so so sorry for you. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>STar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 139665, member: 4964"] Masta, If you re-read what you wrote and take out all the I think my daughter statements - you are left with I have a 19 year old daughter who is not facing her responsibilities as a Mother completely because she is already talking to other men, making plans to go out late at night with infant (NEWBORN) in tow, and isn't thinking about a job, paying us back the $2.5 we spent for HER mistakes - and is skirting the rules of my house. You are not going to make her listen. You can't use the baby issue to force her to doing what she wants. Yes - she is most definitely being watched, yes, she should spend time with her child. Yes - if she screws up that baby is going to go live with psycho x and his great family - yes, you are going to have problems without rules, yes you may end up raising this child - but how many do you want to raise? You have to draw your line in the dirt sometime- and to do that with a difficult child and a difficult child's baby? You better get a BIG stick for the line drawing - LAY DOWN THE LAW AND STICK TO IT LIKE GLUE. 1.) NO NO NO going out late night with friends - PERIOD - he has a baby and YOU ARE NOT A BUILT IN BABY SITTER. YOU gave them a home not a right to **** on you at will. 2.) CHORES WILL BE DONE - NO IFs ans or butts 3.) SHE ALREADY knows she can't do the rent, utilities, etc - so you are - if she doesn't appreciate that - then cut your ties now OR accept that this is the stressful life you have chosen by allowing her to come back with a baby. YOU don't have to do A THING - YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING and it needs to stop right now. I tell my kid all the time - YOU ARE NOT THE PRINCE of the world - and your daughter isn't the PRINCESS - so stop allowing her to behave like you are only there to do for her. 4.) YOU WILL GET A JOB - YOU WILL PAY ME AND YOU WILL SET MONEY BACK EACH PAY FOR YOU AND THE BABY - 5.) THERE WILL BE NO DRINKING WHILE YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING 6 - IF YOU BREAK ANY OF THESE RULES we will file a petition with an attorney and have your parental rights severed. END OF STORY - (something like that) and MEAN IT! Clearly you have the upper hand here - use it to your advantage I am so so so sorry for you. Hugs STar [/QUOTE]
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