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difficult child not going to school again don't know what to do
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 497336" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I am so sorry you are struggling with all of this. I just wanted to say, please dont be ashamed. Your child has a problem and any decent educator will want to help. (we all know there are some yucky folks out there but that is not YOUR issue). I would actually go right to a counselor and start to problem solve. When I was in school I had good grades, a good set of friends and loved the after school stuff I did. BUT there were two people who bullied me and I started not sleeping at night, would say I had homework and put it on that ... then wanted to sleep all day (that is my depression symptom.... sleep during the day to escape, and it always has stayed that way even to my old age, lol) I never told my parents why I was doing that, and now looking back I can see the must have called school because I was pulled in by some psychiatric or someone and interviewed, but I lied and said I was just slow and taking time to do my hair and that is why I was always late (I walked to school) and when I missed it was just that I had stayed up late to do homework etc. I never got behind in school at that time so was always let off. </p><p></p><p>I would rather die than let anyone know I was being bulled, I thought if anyone knew they would for sure kill me since that is what they said their plan was. I have no idea if this could be happening but that is the point of this board in some ways... we can share a variety of things and if any little thing can help spark an idea then it is worth the time to say it. </p><p></p><p>So, while you are puzzling thru it, I would for sure seek a new evaluation of her and try to figure out what is up. I would never doubt her headaches, but would want to explore all angles to helping them, bio feedback etc... (since she has general anxiety it could only help anyway)... YOu say she is obsessed with Anime... is it all consuming or a normal hobby? I know one girl who loves it and the music and goes to events etc. and is adhd and some anxiety issues...but I know THREE kids who are into it and in that classic, all consuming Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/ Asperger's way. Has she ever been evaluated for Asperger's? You have said nothing that makes me think that other than this so it may not be a consideration at all, but given the anxiety and obsessive interest, just thought I'd ask. Does she have friends that she actually has back and forth conversations with, share secrets and really they can rely on each other? </p><p></p><p></p><p>Re: if they stay at home, of course this is not usually my issue...unless I have to go get him and bring him home but... just to share one thing that helps our behavior challenges, (he has never forgotten this and even mentions it nearly weekly so I know he doesn't want it to happen again...they say it does depend on their currency if this kind of thing will help, of course there are many issues that make it so nothing like this would help but I will share.... )</p><p></p><p>My son would rather literally die than NOT go to school but... I will say that if he acts up so makes it so he might miss his beloved bus I tell him if anything happens due to behavior then he has to stay home. And being home during the school day means the only activities can be what you do at school. (well actually he does get to use computer at school, I wont let him do that at home during the school day) </p><p></p><p>so, one day last year he was awful and I called and cancelled the bus (yes I know it is crazy I can use school as a reward) and said I didn't feel safe sending him to school. (that is true, if he is so "off" in the morning, I just dont think it is worth sending him and knowing I will get a phone call in a minute to go get him).... If he can show me he is ok once medications kick in etc. will take him for half of a day. That day he was too nutso, I remember finding out he had a sore throat or something but at the time I thought it was all behavior so he sure enough had to only do legos, or read a book or nap. (yes he does get to nap at school too).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 497336, member: 12886"] I am so sorry you are struggling with all of this. I just wanted to say, please dont be ashamed. Your child has a problem and any decent educator will want to help. (we all know there are some yucky folks out there but that is not YOUR issue). I would actually go right to a counselor and start to problem solve. When I was in school I had good grades, a good set of friends and loved the after school stuff I did. BUT there were two people who bullied me and I started not sleeping at night, would say I had homework and put it on that ... then wanted to sleep all day (that is my depression symptom.... sleep during the day to escape, and it always has stayed that way even to my old age, lol) I never told my parents why I was doing that, and now looking back I can see the must have called school because I was pulled in by some psychiatric or someone and interviewed, but I lied and said I was just slow and taking time to do my hair and that is why I was always late (I walked to school) and when I missed it was just that I had stayed up late to do homework etc. I never got behind in school at that time so was always let off. I would rather die than let anyone know I was being bulled, I thought if anyone knew they would for sure kill me since that is what they said their plan was. I have no idea if this could be happening but that is the point of this board in some ways... we can share a variety of things and if any little thing can help spark an idea then it is worth the time to say it. So, while you are puzzling thru it, I would for sure seek a new evaluation of her and try to figure out what is up. I would never doubt her headaches, but would want to explore all angles to helping them, bio feedback etc... (since she has general anxiety it could only help anyway)... YOu say she is obsessed with Anime... is it all consuming or a normal hobby? I know one girl who loves it and the music and goes to events etc. and is adhd and some anxiety issues...but I know THREE kids who are into it and in that classic, all consuming Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/ Asperger's way. Has she ever been evaluated for Asperger's? You have said nothing that makes me think that other than this so it may not be a consideration at all, but given the anxiety and obsessive interest, just thought I'd ask. Does she have friends that she actually has back and forth conversations with, share secrets and really they can rely on each other? Re: if they stay at home, of course this is not usually my issue...unless I have to go get him and bring him home but... just to share one thing that helps our behavior challenges, (he has never forgotten this and even mentions it nearly weekly so I know he doesn't want it to happen again...they say it does depend on their currency if this kind of thing will help, of course there are many issues that make it so nothing like this would help but I will share.... ) My son would rather literally die than NOT go to school but... I will say that if he acts up so makes it so he might miss his beloved bus I tell him if anything happens due to behavior then he has to stay home. And being home during the school day means the only activities can be what you do at school. (well actually he does get to use computer at school, I wont let him do that at home during the school day) so, one day last year he was awful and I called and cancelled the bus (yes I know it is crazy I can use school as a reward) and said I didn't feel safe sending him to school. (that is true, if he is so "off" in the morning, I just dont think it is worth sending him and knowing I will get a phone call in a minute to go get him).... If he can show me he is ok once medications kick in etc. will take him for half of a day. That day he was too nutso, I remember finding out he had a sore throat or something but at the time I thought it was all behavior so he sure enough had to only do legos, or read a book or nap. (yes he does get to nap at school too). [/QUOTE]
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difficult child not going to school again don't know what to do
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