difficult child now telling people she has stage 3 cancer

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ediwiz, Mar 4, 2007.

  1. ediwiz

    ediwiz Member

    I had posted a few weeks ago in the parent emeritus that difficult child was telling people she might have cancer. I thought this had gone away, but apparently not. She shaved her head and told the family that she lost the bet and 2 other girls shaved their head as well. She is telling people at church that she has stage 3 cancer, that her hair began falling out, that she is sick every day and that she had another chemo treatment at 2pm this afternoon. Needless to say none of that was true. She is 19, I thought she got over this need to be injured or sick in high school. I was at least able to contain it then, now she is telling people at church. :nonono: :hammer:

    My poor easy child got a complete shock today when someone walked up to her to inquire about difficult child. easy child told them it was bold face lie and then got so upset she almost started crying. easy child is at the end of her rope. She says if difficult child comes home this summer that she will move out (easy child will only be 17). I can't blame her though, I wish I could run away. I just don't know how to cope with this anymore. I've called her therapist and asked her to talk to the rest of the team since I can't.

    Sherry
     
  2. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I understand the feeling of wanting away from it. I feel that way too, sometimes. I hope her therapist can get to the root of this situation. That one would scare me, I think. I hope things get better and someone can find out why she's doing this!
     
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Sherry, I'm so sorry, for you and easy child. {{cyberhugs}}
    Have you spoken to difficult child yet?
     
  4. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    Sending hugs to you. I can't imagine how your entire family copes with this.

    I have a cousin (we are not close) who behaves similarly. She had knee surgery and it apparently did not work. She spent some time in a wheelchair until she could have a second surgery and she told anyone who asked that she had MS. People asked me about it - those who know we are cousins - and I simply said that I hadn't heard anything about it. Much easier in my situation. Much harder in your case - I am not comparing the two, believe me.

    I, too, hope that your difficult child's therapist can help.
     
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How frustrating for you and so sad for easy child. My sister was like that as a teen. My difficult child has told some zingers herself. I tend to ignore it. But, I do not have another child that is being affected by it. That would change my feelings, I believe.

    I really wish there was some magical advice I could give, but instead I just feel bad for you both. I am so sorry.

    :slap:
     
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Geez, Sherry.

    I'm assuming this is part of difficult children Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) & need to keep the chaos & attention on herself in high gear.

    My question, is it working for her? Apparently, people are feeding into her illness.

    easy child is in a bad place; a mentally ill sibling sucking the life's blood out of her family. I can imagine her wanting to run away - I would imagine you're feeling the very same.

    So Sherry, where would you head (fantasy time) if you ran away??? Bimini????

    Take care of you & in turn your easy child. (Unfortunately, there is little you can do for difficult child.)
     
  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Sending hugs for you and easy child. Wish I knew what to say. I remember your origianl post but I can't remember. Did you speak with the pastor so he/she knew what was going on? I would, just in case one of the congregation were to want to start some kind of fund, there would be at least someone in charge (and "neutral") who could head it off. Otherwise, hope the therapist can do something........not sure what but hopefully something.

    Hang in there.
     
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Wow.

    Nothing more to add other than sending hugs.
     
  9. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    How HORRIBLE!!! I wish I had some good advice for you. I hope the psychiatrist can help difficult child!!! I agree with those that said you need to take care of you and easy child - Unfortunately, you can't do anything to help difficult child :sad:...

    Sending cyber hugs... WFEN
     
  10. ediwiz

    ediwiz Member

    Thanks everyone for your support. I did send a quick email to the pastor of the young adult ministry. I feel so bad for them because they will take her a face value, most have no exposure to a child as ill as difficult child. I told him that she still needs love and support, I don't want them to be so disgusted by her version of reality (ok, lie), that they totally turn their back on her. I do want them to be cautious.

    easy child had a road trip planned for this coming weekend, but it looks like that may not be happening. Sooo, she is now really struggling. I called her brother, he said that he would entertain easy child this weekend and keep her distracted. That will help, she loves her big brother, he and his girlfriend like to include her in things that they do.

    Timerlady - fantasy place, hmmm, I think Belize.. Ocean, ancient ruins, warm tropical weather... yep I'm there. And no, it really isn't working for her. I wish I understood her thought process, wait, no I really don't. I just wish someone else would take charge and I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. I put a team in place before she turned 18, they were told she was their problem and they had to work together to help her become a self-sufficient person. Yeah, guess who still gets the phone calls at 2am. Arghhh One big problem is that her IQ is darn high that they assume she is perfectly capable of functioning in the "real world". Actually, all that does is make "her reality" that much more believable.

    Sherry
     
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