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Substance Abuse
difficult child out of jail, refuses rehab, I'm losing all hope for him
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 508863" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>PV,</p><p>The senario you describe is the exact one we suffered when the judge just suddenly released our difficult child from jjs custody. Hospital would not take her because she was calm by the time we got there (she went off when we started driving her to Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) and had just gotten out 3 weeks earlier. We had already called the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) she had been in for 18 months and they said they would accept her back-we had it all ready should the judge order her there. She had tried to committ suiside in the state run Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so they would not take her back, judge had to order another treatment, which he did not do. She is a minor so we had no hope-just waiting for 18. She has since finished her GED and has a job which is almost full time. Bu she t still refuses to run by the rules, smokes pot, and has taken from us when she was laid off for 3 weeks.</p><p></p><p>You can't beat yourself up. We have to give them these chances. Mostly we give them these chances because of our own guilt and our desire to believe they want help. Now you know that you can't bail him ever again. His word means nothing. This is true of most addicts. At 18, you are just learning his M.O. I agree that you should revoke bail.</p><p></p><p>Last night at Families Anon. a mother shared that she told her addict kid, " I'm done, I want for you what you want for yourself. So if it is breaking the laws, drugging, and not having a job, that is what I want you to have. Get your things and leave now so you can have these things." What had changed her life was seeing an 85 year old man in tears outside the ER room (she's a trauma nurse), he was sooo sad. He told her, "I am never free because my 60 year old son is a heroin addict." She refuses to be <strong>this father </strong>and to put her other children through this. I was so moved by her strength last night. She did not wait for an eviction because she knew he would not do anything about it.</p><p></p><p>Hearing your pain brings it all back. Be good to yourself and husband. Tell your kid you love him enough to let him fall to rock bottom. He will despise you for awhile. He may get help, or he may not. You must go day by day and find your life again. (((Hugs to you))) You have done your best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 508863, member: 11001"] PV, The senario you describe is the exact one we suffered when the judge just suddenly released our difficult child from jjs custody. Hospital would not take her because she was calm by the time we got there (she went off when we started driving her to Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) and had just gotten out 3 weeks earlier. We had already called the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) she had been in for 18 months and they said they would accept her back-we had it all ready should the judge order her there. She had tried to committ suiside in the state run Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so they would not take her back, judge had to order another treatment, which he did not do. She is a minor so we had no hope-just waiting for 18. She has since finished her GED and has a job which is almost full time. Bu she t still refuses to run by the rules, smokes pot, and has taken from us when she was laid off for 3 weeks. You can't beat yourself up. We have to give them these chances. Mostly we give them these chances because of our own guilt and our desire to believe they want help. Now you know that you can't bail him ever again. His word means nothing. This is true of most addicts. At 18, you are just learning his M.O. I agree that you should revoke bail. Last night at Families Anon. a mother shared that she told her addict kid, " I'm done, I want for you what you want for yourself. So if it is breaking the laws, drugging, and not having a job, that is what I want you to have. Get your things and leave now so you can have these things." What had changed her life was seeing an 85 year old man in tears outside the ER room (she's a trauma nurse), he was sooo sad. He told her, "I am never free because my 60 year old son is a heroin addict." She refuses to be [B]this father [/B]and to put her other children through this. I was so moved by her strength last night. She did not wait for an eviction because she knew he would not do anything about it. Hearing your pain brings it all back. Be good to yourself and husband. Tell your kid you love him enough to let him fall to rock bottom. He will despise you for awhile. He may get help, or he may not. You must go day by day and find your life again. (((Hugs to you))) You have done your best. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child out of jail, refuses rehab, I'm losing all hope for him
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