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difficult child Overload!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 241816" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Something that might help - it helped for us - is "group hug". We called it "family hug". We'd start it with either parent, but especially if the child would accept a hug from the person she usually rejects. In your case, will she accept a hug from husband on his own? If so, what happens if you then come up and hug them both? </p><p></p><p>It could be a way to get her to be more accepting of husband, if her reward for hugging him, is a hug from you (hugging both of them).</p><p></p><p>husband & I would make sure we kissed the child (he kissed one cheek while I kissed the other) and then we would each ask for a kiss from the child. As the child could handle it, we would then kiss the child back and MAYBE kiss each other quickly, then kiss the child again quickly, so the child knew that we were still paying attention to them too.</p><p></p><p>Talking about this now - I remember doing this with easy child 2/difficult child 2, who was VERY demanding of attention and didn't like to share me. I remember when visiting a friend who had a new baby while easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a toddler (maybe 18 months old?) and when te baby was on my lap, easy child 2/difficult child 2 threw the most amazing tantrum and tried to pull the baby away from me.</p><p>When husband & I were cuddling, she would come up and try to get in between us and push us apart. I had forgotten this.</p><p></p><p>I do wonder - you know how kids always act disgusted and embarrassed when their parents show affection for each other? I wonder if it's because we get out of the habit of showing affection to our partner in front of the kids, because when they are little they make it so difficult?</p><p>It would explain a lot. Mind you, I love to embarrass the kids if they act 'grossed out'. I remind them that but for affection between their parents, they would not be here!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 241816, member: 1991"] Something that might help - it helped for us - is "group hug". We called it "family hug". We'd start it with either parent, but especially if the child would accept a hug from the person she usually rejects. In your case, will she accept a hug from husband on his own? If so, what happens if you then come up and hug them both? It could be a way to get her to be more accepting of husband, if her reward for hugging him, is a hug from you (hugging both of them). husband & I would make sure we kissed the child (he kissed one cheek while I kissed the other) and then we would each ask for a kiss from the child. As the child could handle it, we would then kiss the child back and MAYBE kiss each other quickly, then kiss the child again quickly, so the child knew that we were still paying attention to them too. Talking about this now - I remember doing this with easy child 2/difficult child 2, who was VERY demanding of attention and didn't like to share me. I remember when visiting a friend who had a new baby while easy child 2/difficult child 2 was a toddler (maybe 18 months old?) and when te baby was on my lap, easy child 2/difficult child 2 threw the most amazing tantrum and tried to pull the baby away from me. When husband & I were cuddling, she would come up and try to get in between us and push us apart. I had forgotten this. I do wonder - you know how kids always act disgusted and embarrassed when their parents show affection for each other? I wonder if it's because we get out of the habit of showing affection to our partner in front of the kids, because when they are little they make it so difficult? It would explain a lot. Mind you, I love to embarrass the kids if they act 'grossed out'. I remind them that but for affection between their parents, they would not be here! Marg [/QUOTE]
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