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difficult child - puberty and update
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 302555" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Things sound much more improved.</p><p></p><p>I hear you on the reaction to the sexual awakening stuff - but although it's good to joke around about it, being overly rigid is not going to stop him from having sex if a girl is willing and encouraging. He will simply do it without referring to you or letting you know - which can put the kid at greater risk.</p><p></p><p>We raised our kids to be churchgoing, law-abiding, chaste and modest. But we quickly realised that chastity belts are illegal, our kids will take on board the upbringing we give them TO A POINT then go their own way. All we can do is hope we had time to instil in them, enough moral values.</p><p></p><p>So rather thwn "ban sex" (because you can't, kids have free will and are determined to exercise it regularly) I took my kids condom shopping (loudly and enthusiastically). ANd as soon as I discovered my girls were sexually active, I made them go to the doctor for ALL the related sexual health talks and checkups. Regularly. And a good thing too - easy child developed a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) (because she didn't let me know she was plpanning to have sex, so I didn't get to tell her how to prevent UTIs, so on the LOOONG drive in the middle of the night to the hospital, I explained the whole picture and told her she was a twit for not telling me so I could help her. And easy child 2/difficult child 2 - because I rapidly got her to the doctor (and with both girls, got thme on oral contraceptives) she has begun having Pap smears which found an abnormality now currently being monitored by a specialist.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 - we taught him about moral sexual responsibility and how HE has to recognise that sex is far more emotionally important for the girl and not to be treated lightly. Actually, we had the similar talk with easy child 2/difficult child 2 because she is one girl who would unwittingly hurt a guy purely because she's such a knockout, so sensuous and such a handful, than a bloke getting smitten with her, and her wanting to move on - that guy would be devastated. And despite our warnings, it still happened and it was nasty for a while.</p><p></p><p>There is a lot more of concern to awakening teenage sexuality, than contraception. The moral/social side of things is a bigger concern and I mean "moral" and "social" from a modern teen perspective.</p><p></p><p>Us old fuddy-duddies - society has moved on. Now it's the done thing for kids to have sex casually, so casually that a lot of the things WE call sex, they don't (wrong). And they get badly hurt.</p><p></p><p>Welcome his girlfriend, make sure you get to meet her. Remember - YOU love your son, so you have that in common with his girlfriend.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 302555, member: 1991"] Things sound much more improved. I hear you on the reaction to the sexual awakening stuff - but although it's good to joke around about it, being overly rigid is not going to stop him from having sex if a girl is willing and encouraging. He will simply do it without referring to you or letting you know - which can put the kid at greater risk. We raised our kids to be churchgoing, law-abiding, chaste and modest. But we quickly realised that chastity belts are illegal, our kids will take on board the upbringing we give them TO A POINT then go their own way. All we can do is hope we had time to instil in them, enough moral values. So rather thwn "ban sex" (because you can't, kids have free will and are determined to exercise it regularly) I took my kids condom shopping (loudly and enthusiastically). ANd as soon as I discovered my girls were sexually active, I made them go to the doctor for ALL the related sexual health talks and checkups. Regularly. And a good thing too - easy child developed a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) (because she didn't let me know she was plpanning to have sex, so I didn't get to tell her how to prevent UTIs, so on the LOOONG drive in the middle of the night to the hospital, I explained the whole picture and told her she was a twit for not telling me so I could help her. And easy child 2/difficult child 2 - because I rapidly got her to the doctor (and with both girls, got thme on oral contraceptives) she has begun having Pap smears which found an abnormality now currently being monitored by a specialist. difficult child 1 - we taught him about moral sexual responsibility and how HE has to recognise that sex is far more emotionally important for the girl and not to be treated lightly. Actually, we had the similar talk with easy child 2/difficult child 2 because she is one girl who would unwittingly hurt a guy purely because she's such a knockout, so sensuous and such a handful, than a bloke getting smitten with her, and her wanting to move on - that guy would be devastated. And despite our warnings, it still happened and it was nasty for a while. There is a lot more of concern to awakening teenage sexuality, than contraception. The moral/social side of things is a bigger concern and I mean "moral" and "social" from a modern teen perspective. Us old fuddy-duddies - society has moved on. Now it's the done thing for kids to have sex casually, so casually that a lot of the things WE call sex, they don't (wrong). And they get badly hurt. Welcome his girlfriend, make sure you get to meet her. Remember - YOU love your son, so you have that in common with his girlfriend. Marg [/QUOTE]
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