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General Parenting
difficult child pushing the envelope
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 92058" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Well, I do not have near the experience that the other mommies have here, but let me tell you a little story.</p><p></p><p>At my old house, my biggest problem was getting Tink to pick up after herself. Her room was a disaster area. She had stuff everywhere. I tried punishing. I tried taking away priviledges. I tried allowance. I tried bribes. I tried grounding. I tried Chinese water torture (OK, not that) but you get my point. Nothing worked. </p><p></p><p>Well just recently we moved. With the move came a new set of rules. All of her stuff was in my possession. She had to earn back all of her belongings by behaving for me on a daily basis. That included keeping her room up. She has now earned back all her stuff and still keeps her room clean.</p><p></p><p>The point I am making is, if you make a new set up (where you are awake when she is home, and she will have no way to sneak anything), you may choose to start her with earning back all her belongings. Or you may go the total opposite direction and give her a clean slate. Thing is, you will be there to supervise her and make sure she does not get into any new trouble. If she messes up, then pick an appropriate consequence. Now if you ground her from her friends, and you are there to oversee her, she is really grounded.</p><p></p><p>I do have a question though. When you work nights, are the 9 & 11 year olds home alone?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 92058, member: 3647"] Well, I do not have near the experience that the other mommies have here, but let me tell you a little story. At my old house, my biggest problem was getting Tink to pick up after herself. Her room was a disaster area. She had stuff everywhere. I tried punishing. I tried taking away priviledges. I tried allowance. I tried bribes. I tried grounding. I tried Chinese water torture (OK, not that) but you get my point. Nothing worked. Well just recently we moved. With the move came a new set of rules. All of her stuff was in my possession. She had to earn back all of her belongings by behaving for me on a daily basis. That included keeping her room up. She has now earned back all her stuff and still keeps her room clean. The point I am making is, if you make a new set up (where you are awake when she is home, and she will have no way to sneak anything), you may choose to start her with earning back all her belongings. Or you may go the total opposite direction and give her a clean slate. Thing is, you will be there to supervise her and make sure she does not get into any new trouble. If she messes up, then pick an appropriate consequence. Now if you ground her from her friends, and you are there to oversee her, she is really grounded. I do have a question though. When you work nights, are the 9 & 11 year olds home alone? [/QUOTE]
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