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General Parenting
difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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<blockquote data-quote="weatheringthestorm" data-source="post: 105941" data-attributes="member: 4424"><p>Thank you for all the responses. In response to some of the questions....</p><p></p><p>His doctor just changed his medications to Buproprian 200mg twice a day, Seraquel 25mg twice a day, Adderall 25mg once a day. He also takes Allegra and a multi-vitamin daily. He has an Albuterol inhaler as needed. </p><p></p><p>He had been doing rather well on his medications. However, his moods have been changing very quickly and are more severe than usual. The defiance has greatly increased. He's in a big downward spiral. We've been working with his doctor to adjust the medications. He's extremely resistant to taking medications of any sort, but especially these. We have to go slowly because the minute he feels any side effects he won't take them. He won't admit that he has a mental illness or any behavior problems. Everything is our fault. </p><p></p><p>He's not in counseling right now as he refuses to go. He is EXTREMELY sensitive to the anyone "knowing his business". He went weekly all of this last spring and summer. His cooperation was minimal. The therapist still got him to talk and open up some. He began doing really well. Then only problems we were having was the weekly fight to get him there. Since he was doing well and hated going so much we (in agreement with the therapist) discontinued treatment. Now I can't get him into the car to go back. His doctor is considering putting him a day program at a Residential Treatment Facility (RTF).</p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't <em>think</em> he's doing any drugs, but I really can't be sure. He recently passed a drug test that the doctor snuck in with some other blood and urnine tests. I do know he is smoking cigarettes. We supported him in his first attempt to quit - made a plan with the doctor, bought the patches, etc. We would have also supported him in his second attempt, but he has stated he doesn't want to quit. I do keep drug use in mind. I really worry that all of the emotional problems will encourage self medication. I'd like to think I know what he's up to, but I really don't. I can't even keep him home when he doesn't want to be.</p><p></p><p>He hasn't snuck out during the night (that I know of). He usually only leaves without permission when he's had a meltdown and / or gets into trouble. When we tell him he's grounded he's taken to leaving, either blatently or sneaking. This usually comes after he's refused to stop screaming, swearing, hitting (in the last year he's broken his hand several times) and throwing things, etc. Then he refuses to go to his room. Then he decides he should be allowed to leave. When he can't convince us by screaming and swearing he leaves. This is usually in the evening and he comes home by curfew. </p><p></p><p>This morning he tried not speaking to me. Then he began the yelling and swearing. He left for school telling me that he's not doing any of his projects, etc. He does this periodically too,and he means it. He doesn't do anything. He had just raised his grades up so that he is passing all of his classes. </p><p></p><p>It really feels as if he is the one in controll. He goes out when he's not supposed to, he decides when to come home, he smokes, his behavior determines what can and cannot be done every evening, etc.</p><p></p><p></p><p>On top of all this I'm dealing with some pain issues from an injury in '06. I'm taking my youngest and myself to physical therapy twice a week. I have after school programs that I work the other 2 - 3 days a week.</p><p></p><p>I'm dreading when he comes home as he needs to have consequences for his actions and he'll likely just refuse to comply.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for the info on the book. I'm ordering it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="weatheringthestorm, post: 105941, member: 4424"] Thank you for all the responses. In response to some of the questions.... His doctor just changed his medications to Buproprian 200mg twice a day, Seraquel 25mg twice a day, Adderall 25mg once a day. He also takes Allegra and a multi-vitamin daily. He has an Albuterol inhaler as needed. He had been doing rather well on his medications. However, his moods have been changing very quickly and are more severe than usual. The defiance has greatly increased. He's in a big downward spiral. We've been working with his doctor to adjust the medications. He's extremely resistant to taking medications of any sort, but especially these. We have to go slowly because the minute he feels any side effects he won't take them. He won't admit that he has a mental illness or any behavior problems. Everything is our fault. He's not in counseling right now as he refuses to go. He is EXTREMELY sensitive to the anyone "knowing his business". He went weekly all of this last spring and summer. His cooperation was minimal. The therapist still got him to talk and open up some. He began doing really well. Then only problems we were having was the weekly fight to get him there. Since he was doing well and hated going so much we (in agreement with the therapist) discontinued treatment. Now I can't get him into the car to go back. His doctor is considering putting him a day program at a Residential Treatment Facility (RTF). I don't [i]think[/i] he's doing any drugs, but I really can't be sure. He recently passed a drug test that the doctor snuck in with some other blood and urnine tests. I do know he is smoking cigarettes. We supported him in his first attempt to quit - made a plan with the doctor, bought the patches, etc. We would have also supported him in his second attempt, but he has stated he doesn't want to quit. I do keep drug use in mind. I really worry that all of the emotional problems will encourage self medication. I'd like to think I know what he's up to, but I really don't. I can't even keep him home when he doesn't want to be. He hasn't snuck out during the night (that I know of). He usually only leaves without permission when he's had a meltdown and / or gets into trouble. When we tell him he's grounded he's taken to leaving, either blatently or sneaking. This usually comes after he's refused to stop screaming, swearing, hitting (in the last year he's broken his hand several times) and throwing things, etc. Then he refuses to go to his room. Then he decides he should be allowed to leave. When he can't convince us by screaming and swearing he leaves. This is usually in the evening and he comes home by curfew. This morning he tried not speaking to me. Then he began the yelling and swearing. He left for school telling me that he's not doing any of his projects, etc. He does this periodically too,and he means it. He doesn't do anything. He had just raised his grades up so that he is passing all of his classes. It really feels as if he is the one in controll. He goes out when he's not supposed to, he decides when to come home, he smokes, his behavior determines what can and cannot be done every evening, etc. On top of all this I'm dealing with some pain issues from an injury in '06. I'm taking my youngest and myself to physical therapy twice a week. I have after school programs that I work the other 2 - 3 days a week. I'm dreading when he comes home as he needs to have consequences for his actions and he'll likely just refuse to comply. Thanks for the info on the book. I'm ordering it! [/QUOTE]
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