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General Parenting
difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 106285" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>While I have not used the police to get my child in the car for a dr appointment, I have used them numerous times when she has snuck out, not come home, refused to come home from a friend's house or been verbally or physically abusive. They have told me numerous times to call them whenever I needed, but that was because we had established a working relationship with them and they understood the situation. </p><p></p><p>My daughter went through a similar phase when she was 14-15, very defiant and just refused to do anything she didn't want to do. The big incentive for her was driving. She turned 16 and did not even have her temp although all her friends go theirs when they were 15 1/2. We have made it clear that she does not drive until she is trustworthy and is following rules and keeping her grades up. It's finally made an impact. She is now carrying all A's and B's when last year she has C's and D's.</p><p></p><p>You will have to draw the line in the sand at some point and will probably have to involve the police if he becomes more defiant and escalates his behavior. We also had her medications changed during this time, I think that is common at this age.</p><p></p><p>Smallworld, I'm not sure if you were on the board when Dadrich first came. His methods work for him, his style works for him, and others. I happen to like his style although I am not as strong as he is. I agree that we are the parent and they are the children. I'm sure there are many police depts who don't want to help kids and therefore would object to being called into these situations. I am veeeeeery fortunate that my police dept acually want to help parents help their kids. And he is right, a weekend stay in detention does wonders. They told me I needed a paper trail and a paper trail is what I got. I started out making an appointment with our juvenile officer and taking her in to have a talk. That established the relationship and from that point on I got excellent backup.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 106285, member: 59"] While I have not used the police to get my child in the car for a dr appointment, I have used them numerous times when she has snuck out, not come home, refused to come home from a friend's house or been verbally or physically abusive. They have told me numerous times to call them whenever I needed, but that was because we had established a working relationship with them and they understood the situation. My daughter went through a similar phase when she was 14-15, very defiant and just refused to do anything she didn't want to do. The big incentive for her was driving. She turned 16 and did not even have her temp although all her friends go theirs when they were 15 1/2. We have made it clear that she does not drive until she is trustworthy and is following rules and keeping her grades up. It's finally made an impact. She is now carrying all A's and B's when last year she has C's and D's. You will have to draw the line in the sand at some point and will probably have to involve the police if he becomes more defiant and escalates his behavior. We also had her medications changed during this time, I think that is common at this age. Smallworld, I'm not sure if you were on the board when Dadrich first came. His methods work for him, his style works for him, and others. I happen to like his style although I am not as strong as he is. I agree that we are the parent and they are the children. I'm sure there are many police depts who don't want to help kids and therefore would object to being called into these situations. I am veeeeeery fortunate that my police dept acually want to help parents help their kids. And he is right, a weekend stay in detention does wonders. They told me I needed a paper trail and a paper trail is what I got. I started out making an appointment with our juvenile officer and taking her in to have a talk. That established the relationship and from that point on I got excellent backup. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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