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difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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<blockquote data-quote="weatheringthestorm" data-source="post: 106607" data-attributes="member: 4424"><p>Thanks for all the responses. I wasn't sure I'd get any response. While he's always had issues his BiPolar (BP), odd diagnosis is new and we're still learning.</p><p></p><p>Smallworld, thanks for the website, I've found it very helpful. We were aware of the possible increase in hypomania from the medications. His psychiatrist doesn't think this is likely for him as he's had these same problems long before the medications and they had improved on them. However, even she says anything is possible and she's monitoring it closely. I have read on several sites that the Wellbutrin - Seraquel combo is frequently used in BiPolar (BP) kids. He was on Wellbutrin and Abilify for a while. I felt that worked the best but he couldn't handle the side effects. Taking him off almost brought me to tears. He's very medication adverse and allergic to many. He'd been on Lexapro with the Seraquel which didn't seem to work any better than this. His psychiatrist and pediatrician switched him to Wellbutrin to help him quit smoking as it's supposed to be good for that. I did email his psychiatrist to raise the medications question. Thanks again.</p><p></p><p>After posting my first and second time I realized how far this had gone. He had gained total control. We had reached the point where we couldn't even give him consequences because he'd just leave. He just couldn't handle himself at home. So we made him go and stay at his grandma's house. He'll be there until at least Christmas Eve. It's that or the day program at the hospital. I'd like to try to avoid that, but if this doesn't work he'll be going there. Anyway, we told him that to stay at home he had to follow the rules - only leaving with permission, being decent to us, etc. He really didn't want to go but it serves two purposes. One he is removed from his biggest trigger (home) and can calm down and two it's the only way (aside from the police or the psychiatric hospital) that we can exert some control over him and let him know that he's not in charge. It's almost like a work program with all the chores he'll end up with (they're remodeling their home and have no shortage of tasks). He also has limited access to his friends. It's almost like being grounded. This is kind of the last attempt to avoid the hospital.</p><p></p><p>As far as using the police goes.... we've let him know in no uncertain terms that the next time he leaves without permission, won't come home, etc we'll call the police and they'll deal with him. Apparently around here that usually leads to a trip to the det center. If he were to come at any of us we'd call 911 without hesitation. We'll also call them if he refuses to go to school,or he needs to go to the hospital and we can't get him there. I don't think I'll use them to go to the therapist as he won't participate and it will likely make him even more determined to not cooperate. We do have a couple of really good youth officers at our PD whom he knows both from DARE and his minor run ins with the law (none related to his illness as much as just goofy boy stuff). We also know many of the other police from the haunted house that my whole family participates in every year (the police monitor the crowd, etc)so he's at least met many of them on good terms. </p><p></p><p>I hope his medications will help him get to a point that he'll actually accept the fact that he is BiPolar (BP) and that therapy is part of what will help him. Until then I don't really think that forcing this particular issue will help. It's so hard to see him so miserable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="weatheringthestorm, post: 106607, member: 4424"] Thanks for all the responses. I wasn't sure I'd get any response. While he's always had issues his BiPolar (BP), odd diagnosis is new and we're still learning. Smallworld, thanks for the website, I've found it very helpful. We were aware of the possible increase in hypomania from the medications. His psychiatrist doesn't think this is likely for him as he's had these same problems long before the medications and they had improved on them. However, even she says anything is possible and she's monitoring it closely. I have read on several sites that the Wellbutrin - Seraquel combo is frequently used in BiPolar (BP) kids. He was on Wellbutrin and Abilify for a while. I felt that worked the best but he couldn't handle the side effects. Taking him off almost brought me to tears. He's very medication adverse and allergic to many. He'd been on Lexapro with the Seraquel which didn't seem to work any better than this. His psychiatrist and pediatrician switched him to Wellbutrin to help him quit smoking as it's supposed to be good for that. I did email his psychiatrist to raise the medications question. Thanks again. After posting my first and second time I realized how far this had gone. He had gained total control. We had reached the point where we couldn't even give him consequences because he'd just leave. He just couldn't handle himself at home. So we made him go and stay at his grandma's house. He'll be there until at least Christmas Eve. It's that or the day program at the hospital. I'd like to try to avoid that, but if this doesn't work he'll be going there. Anyway, we told him that to stay at home he had to follow the rules - only leaving with permission, being decent to us, etc. He really didn't want to go but it serves two purposes. One he is removed from his biggest trigger (home) and can calm down and two it's the only way (aside from the police or the psychiatric hospital) that we can exert some control over him and let him know that he's not in charge. It's almost like a work program with all the chores he'll end up with (they're remodeling their home and have no shortage of tasks). He also has limited access to his friends. It's almost like being grounded. This is kind of the last attempt to avoid the hospital. As far as using the police goes.... we've let him know in no uncertain terms that the next time he leaves without permission, won't come home, etc we'll call the police and they'll deal with him. Apparently around here that usually leads to a trip to the det center. If he were to come at any of us we'd call 911 without hesitation. We'll also call them if he refuses to go to school,or he needs to go to the hospital and we can't get him there. I don't think I'll use them to go to the therapist as he won't participate and it will likely make him even more determined to not cooperate. We do have a couple of really good youth officers at our PD whom he knows both from DARE and his minor run ins with the law (none related to his illness as much as just goofy boy stuff). We also know many of the other police from the haunted house that my whole family participates in every year (the police monitor the crowd, etc)so he's at least met many of them on good terms. I hope his medications will help him get to a point that he'll actually accept the fact that he is BiPolar (BP) and that therapy is part of what will help him. Until then I don't really think that forcing this particular issue will help. It's so hard to see him so miserable. [/QUOTE]
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