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General Parenting
difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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<blockquote data-quote="weatheringthestorm" data-source="post: 107545" data-attributes="member: 4424"><p>We went to visit my son at my mom's house yesterday. Since he won't coopertate in any kind of counseling we decided to give it a try with my mom as the moderator. Figured it was better than nothing. We even included my easy child who in the past hadn't participated with the counselor, etc. Since the stress of difficult child seems to be wearing on him and they fight all the time we included him.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, we tried having everyone discuss what they and others could do to "keep the peace". Everyone was really cooperative except, of course, difficult child. He went right into being really angry, yelling, had nothing constructive to say, etc. It really didn't go that well. And to think he's coming home in 8 days.</p><p></p><p>Despite that we did have a break through from him, though it's far from encouraging. He finally came out and admitted that even though in his mind he knew that we, as parents, had to be the boss that he couldn't stand it. He can't stand having anyone be in charge of him or have any power over him. And... he's not willing to work on that in therapy. He doesn't think this will effect him one bit when he begins working, out in the real world, etc. It's impossible to reason with him. He feels he's all grown up, can make all the right decisions, and should be allowed to do whatever he wishes. This was really discouraging because witout him working on the problem I don't see many things changing. I think this is the root of many of our problems. I guess I just keep hoping that we'll finally get the right medications and his mind will clear. </p><p></p><p>Happy Holidays to all!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="weatheringthestorm, post: 107545, member: 4424"] We went to visit my son at my mom's house yesterday. Since he won't coopertate in any kind of counseling we decided to give it a try with my mom as the moderator. Figured it was better than nothing. We even included my easy child who in the past hadn't participated with the counselor, etc. Since the stress of difficult child seems to be wearing on him and they fight all the time we included him. Anyway, we tried having everyone discuss what they and others could do to "keep the peace". Everyone was really cooperative except, of course, difficult child. He went right into being really angry, yelling, had nothing constructive to say, etc. It really didn't go that well. And to think he's coming home in 8 days. Despite that we did have a break through from him, though it's far from encouraging. He finally came out and admitted that even though in his mind he knew that we, as parents, had to be the boss that he couldn't stand it. He can't stand having anyone be in charge of him or have any power over him. And... he's not willing to work on that in therapy. He doesn't think this will effect him one bit when he begins working, out in the real world, etc. It's impossible to reason with him. He feels he's all grown up, can make all the right decisions, and should be allowed to do whatever he wishes. This was really discouraging because witout him working on the problem I don't see many things changing. I think this is the root of many of our problems. I guess I just keep hoping that we'll finally get the right medications and his mind will clear. Happy Holidays to all! [/QUOTE]
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