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General Parenting
difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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<blockquote data-quote="lisae" data-source="post: 107575" data-attributes="member: 4261"><p>Wow, your original post reads just like our son and situation! He's been in treatment since September with mixed results, mostly good and we feel like family life has improved. He doesn't leave when in the middle of a melt-down; he doesn't punch holes in the walls anymore. He's on Seroquel 100mg split in two doses per day. He's also on Concerta for ADD non hyper type and has doubled his grades! However, while his diagnosis is anxiety disorder I keep thinking BiPolar (BP), (my entire family has BiPolar (BP) to some extent) esp. with the grandiose behavior of not wanting any control whatsoever. </p><p></p><p>And, he continues to have the rages, although he is handling them a little better - for example, tonight he came out raging because his twin had smoked the last butt that twin had earlier promised to share. I now try to stay calm and uninvolved when he starts but after about ten minutes of him a) cursing his brother and b) flipping things off counters, throwing things around the kitchen and pounding on food containers to the point of cracking one, I lost it too. I asked him how long he thought he'd keep a job if he overreacted like this when a co-worker took that last cup of coffee... He did look a little embarrassed at that! Still, when I asked him to go outdoors and shovel snow he screamed more and refused, and I had to call his dad who was in town on an errand. husband says "I've had enough, I'm getting him a pack of cigarettes!" Gee, we have done so well NOT supporting them in their lousy decision to start smoking.... After husband got home and told him to go shovel snow, difficult child did - but I'm sure only because cigs were on the way. So he 'won' this round - he is definitely able to wear us down. </p><p></p><p>One thing is definitely pick your battles, we did not overreact when they started smoking cigs because we went through both boys using marijuana and they are both testing negative and we are starting family SA treatment Tuesday. They were both willing to quit weed because difficult child's psychiatrist wouldn't continue his Seroquel unless she saw clean tests. </p><p></p><p>My one ray of hope in this is that difficult child wants to stop raging and scares himself when he spirals out of control, so he has fully cooperated with medication. I am worried that a mood stablizer is what he really needs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lisae, post: 107575, member: 4261"] Wow, your original post reads just like our son and situation! He's been in treatment since September with mixed results, mostly good and we feel like family life has improved. He doesn't leave when in the middle of a melt-down; he doesn't punch holes in the walls anymore. He's on Seroquel 100mg split in two doses per day. He's also on Concerta for ADD non hyper type and has doubled his grades! However, while his diagnosis is anxiety disorder I keep thinking BiPolar (BP), (my entire family has BiPolar (BP) to some extent) esp. with the grandiose behavior of not wanting any control whatsoever. And, he continues to have the rages, although he is handling them a little better - for example, tonight he came out raging because his twin had smoked the last butt that twin had earlier promised to share. I now try to stay calm and uninvolved when he starts but after about ten minutes of him a) cursing his brother and b) flipping things off counters, throwing things around the kitchen and pounding on food containers to the point of cracking one, I lost it too. I asked him how long he thought he'd keep a job if he overreacted like this when a co-worker took that last cup of coffee... He did look a little embarrassed at that! Still, when I asked him to go outdoors and shovel snow he screamed more and refused, and I had to call his dad who was in town on an errand. husband says "I've had enough, I'm getting him a pack of cigarettes!" Gee, we have done so well NOT supporting them in their lousy decision to start smoking.... After husband got home and told him to go shovel snow, difficult child did - but I'm sure only because cigs were on the way. So he 'won' this round - he is definitely able to wear us down. One thing is definitely pick your battles, we did not overreact when they started smoking cigs because we went through both boys using marijuana and they are both testing negative and we are starting family SA treatment Tuesday. They were both willing to quit weed because difficult child's psychiatrist wouldn't continue his Seroquel unless she saw clean tests. My one ray of hope in this is that difficult child wants to stop raging and scares himself when he spirals out of control, so he has fully cooperated with medication. I am worried that a mood stablizer is what he really needs. [/QUOTE]
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