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General Parenting
difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 107865" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi & welcome, </p><p></p><p></p><p>I think he would benefit from anger management classes or therapy. And believe me kids look at you like "ANGER WHAT? Like the movie? Oh Mom Thanks but no thanks." Actually the real classes aren't like that and he would learn coping techniques to curb his temper. </p><p></p><p>My son will NOW instead of getting in your face, say "I need my space for a minute and walk off." I don't know what he's telling himself when he walks away, but the good thing is he's able to get what used to be a really horrible throwing, screaming, destructive temper under control. Now you would really really have to provoke him to get him to come after you or be physical. Pretty much unless you start it - he's going to walk away. That has been a very good thing for him (and us). </p><p></p><p>Our therapist was the one that told us to go home and write out a plan of "next time if" and we went over it, changed things, and put into it what we would and would not tolerate. When the next time did happen, we had clear communication and crisp lines as to what was going to happen. If he did X - Z would ensue. If he got physical - One of us would call 911. If he ran away - we reported it every day like the law said we had to. We didn't look for him - or pine over him. We let him go and it was the best thing - he even told our therapist "I ran away - they didn't even care." And the therapist said "What were you saying to Mom and Dad when YOU ran away? I love it here - I care about you? Not hardly. Get off the pity train." </p><p></p><p>Sorry you had to find us but glad you did. </p><p></p><p>Post often and seriously think about a psychologist for your kid. If you can't get him to go - THEN YOU GO - you may learn a trick or two about "cat wrangling" </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>STar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 107865, member: 4964"] Hi & welcome, I think he would benefit from anger management classes or therapy. And believe me kids look at you like "ANGER WHAT? Like the movie? Oh Mom Thanks but no thanks." Actually the real classes aren't like that and he would learn coping techniques to curb his temper. My son will NOW instead of getting in your face, say "I need my space for a minute and walk off." I don't know what he's telling himself when he walks away, but the good thing is he's able to get what used to be a really horrible throwing, screaming, destructive temper under control. Now you would really really have to provoke him to get him to come after you or be physical. Pretty much unless you start it - he's going to walk away. That has been a very good thing for him (and us). Our therapist was the one that told us to go home and write out a plan of "next time if" and we went over it, changed things, and put into it what we would and would not tolerate. When the next time did happen, we had clear communication and crisp lines as to what was going to happen. If he did X - Z would ensue. If he got physical - One of us would call 911. If he ran away - we reported it every day like the law said we had to. We didn't look for him - or pine over him. We let him go and it was the best thing - he even told our therapist "I ran away - they didn't even care." And the therapist said "What were you saying to Mom and Dad when YOU ran away? I love it here - I care about you? Not hardly. Get off the pity train." Sorry you had to find us but glad you did. Post often and seriously think about a psychologist for your kid. If you can't get him to go - THEN YOU GO - you may learn a trick or two about "cat wrangling" Hugs STar [/QUOTE]
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difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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