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General Parenting
difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 107922" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Perhaps since the reward of money <em>seemed</em> to work for a while, you can talk with him about the rewards being your time and energy. At 15, what type of general support are you giving him? Does he get a ride to school, or take the bus? Do you take him to movies (or other outings) with the family? Does he do his own laundry? Who cooks for him? </p><p></p><p>If he doesn't want to get in the car when you need to take him to a doctors appointment, maybe the next time he wants a ride to the mall or a friend's house you can tell him you hope he has enough money for the bus, or reflective gear for when he rides his bike. Point him in the direction of the peanut butter at dinner time. Assure him that when he wants to take on his proper role in the family - that of the 15 year old child - you will take on your proper role in the family - that of chief cook, chauffeur, laundress, etc.</p><p></p><p>It seems clear that I'm oversimplifying, but then again it couldn't hurt to point out all of the sacrifices you make for him, and how much he'd miss them if you got tired enough of his sass to cut him off to the bare minimums. You might try it for a few days or a week (without telling him how long you intend to continue) and when he gets past the point of a hissy fit, you can see if he wants to revisit the issue of his behavior and how it affects yours.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 107922, member: 99"] Perhaps since the reward of money [i]seemed[/i] to work for a while, you can talk with him about the rewards being your time and energy. At 15, what type of general support are you giving him? Does he get a ride to school, or take the bus? Do you take him to movies (or other outings) with the family? Does he do his own laundry? Who cooks for him? If he doesn't want to get in the car when you need to take him to a doctors appointment, maybe the next time he wants a ride to the mall or a friend's house you can tell him you hope he has enough money for the bus, or reflective gear for when he rides his bike. Point him in the direction of the peanut butter at dinner time. Assure him that when he wants to take on his proper role in the family - that of the 15 year old child - you will take on your proper role in the family - that of chief cook, chauffeur, laundress, etc. It seems clear that I'm oversimplifying, but then again it couldn't hurt to point out all of the sacrifices you make for him, and how much he'd miss them if you got tired enough of his sass to cut him off to the bare minimums. You might try it for a few days or a week (without telling him how long you intend to continue) and when he gets past the point of a hissy fit, you can see if he wants to revisit the issue of his behavior and how it affects yours. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child refuses to do anything we say, sneaks out, etc
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