difficult child says I ruined Christmas

[Californiablonde]

Well guess what? My mom just berated me over email for not having a tree. Told me that with the money I make, there's no reason I can't afford it. Even knowing I had to pay a $50 late fee didn't deter her from making her comments. I seriously doubt not having a damn tree this year is gonna scar my kids or ruin their Christmas. Besides, it's not like I don't have the place decorated. And easy child is fine with no tree. difficult child and my mom are making a bigger deal out of it than necessary. There's just no pleasing some people, I guess.

 

[DDD]

Truthfully I am eager for the day to come when what YOU think is the dominant thought. What your difficult child says is just not more important than what YOU think. What your Mom says is not more important than what YOU think. What any family member says...including the Ex and his wife...is JUST WORDS. YOU are the Captain of YOUR ship. It is time for you to naysay the underlings and own your position of power. Get behind the wheel, CB, and look ahead...not back. DDD

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Star, I swear you should be a writer. I would read anything you wrote!!!! Amazing - thank you for that reminder of what we are all blessed with!!

 

[DammitJanet]

I am much like your mother in that I provide a very bountiful harvest to my grandchildren. In fact, I think my kids sort of expect it because I started out this way. I enjoy it so much. When they grew up I pretty much started out having grandchildren immediately because the same year Jamie left home I couldnt really send him much in the way of real Xmas presents because he was in the military. I did small things but it wasnt much. Cory was being a jerk so we didnt give him much. Xmas's were pretty lean from 03 until 06 when we got our first grandchild and then it perked back up again. It was like life was breathed back into our home and everyone finally relaxed. We went so overboard. We have ever since as new grandchildren were added to the family. In fact right now you cant see half my family room at the moment. Tony and I enjoy it so much. We still need to buy for Cory and Jamie too...lol.

Now for my piece of advice. My dad helped me out with my kids which is probably why I am so generous with my own. When they were very young he would load up with toys and send them down or we would go up to his house and he would give them to them. As they got a bit older he would send me a check to buy them things. I never dreamed that would come back to haunt me.

A few years before my dad died (he died in 12/2/2010) either he or my step-mom together told my middle son Jamie that they were responsible for my kids having such nice Xmas's all their lives. If it hadnt been for them, they wouldnt have had much at all. Now I have no idea why they would have felt the need to tell my son that because Jamie worshiped his grandfather but he also adored us and felt he had a wonderful life growing up even if we were very poor. He didnt care that we were poor. He had love and he had food and a roof. He didnt know any better so it was his life. To have his grandfather break his reality just made him mad. In fact he went over a year without talking to him at all and he only lived 45 minutes away. Finally we learned my father had cancer and I convinced my son to begin talking to my father again. All this was so very sad.

I will never do this to my kids because it is my choice if I buy my grandchildren more Xmas gifts than one two things. If there ever comes a time when I cant do it this way, well then that will just happen. Im sure one day they will want different things and the toys will go away and more expensive things will replace them. Right now they love dolls and cars and such. Eventually it will be clothes and laptops and cell phones. I wont be able to buy dozens of them...lol.

 

[Californiablonde]

I really don't care what my mom and difficult child say about the tree. I still decorated and that's all that matters to me. It's not like I'm ignoring the whole damn holiday. And just wait till the kids see what grandma got them for Christmas. They got everything they wanted. I don't feel bad one bit about my lack of money this holiday. I get to spend it with my family and we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, which is what Christmas is really about. My kids are still going to have a fabulous Christmas despite not having a tree. I don't feel guilty one bit.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

We had a mini tree last year - it was actually really cute and didn't cost much at all! They even made little ornaments. We put our traditional pre-lit tree up this year (I have a pencil thin one so it doesn't take up a bunch of room). But I had no qualms about our little tree last year. Christmas is not about the tree...

I am glad you do not feel bad because you have nothing to feel bad about! Stuff happens...

 

[buddy]

now, please dont think I am making light of your situation, but my mom sent a picture that I think is going around the internet saying "I finally put my tree up" and it had one of those tree car fresheners hanging from the end of a ruler which was taped on a shelf and had presents under it. So my mom really did that! She said, then you also get the smell!

 

[Californiablonde]

That's hilarious buddy!