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difficult child sent me an email....
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 76438"><p>She's never vented to me via email before. She sent it Friday night, but I didn't check my email until just a few minutes ago. </p><p> </p><p>She's obviously hurting and feeling like easy child gets preferential treatment. I don't think I treat them very differently, but she has so many more sibling complaints than easy child and I don't address all of them. I'm not going to, either. Part of growing up is learning how to deal with these things. Plus, a lot of her complaints are part of her skewed perception. I've talked to her about these things, but unless I'm on easy child's case about <em>everything</em> she comes to me about, she's not happy. It's hard, though, to see your child's unhappiness in black and white like that.</p><p> </p><p>The part that was the most heartbreaking read:</p><p> </p><p><em>"and its only taken me a few minutes to type this, so you can tell, i didn't have to think about this. i have been for a couple years. but i knew if i told you, you wouldn't listen so, why bother?"</em></p><p> </p><p>She also said that "noone should have to live always thinking noone cares."</p><p> </p><p>It's devastating to hear that. But, I also know that she needs more than I think anyone can give her. There has always been this emptiness within her that she's trying to fill. Always. Sometimes I think I could take off skin and it wouldn't be enough to show her that I do care. I hear from her how much I don't care every. single. day. She even told me once, after I exhausted all possible remedies for a sore knee (ice, heat, massage, soaking in a tub, ibuprofen) that if I really cared I would think of something. How do you respond to that?</p><p> </p><p>I've read, researched, prayed, taken her to therapy, gotten her medications, talked with her, stayed up nights worrying, fought the system, researched more, read more, dug inside myself, talked to her, reasoned with her, and honest to God, I don't know how to help her. I do not know how to get through to her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 76438"] She's never vented to me via email before. She sent it Friday night, but I didn't check my email until just a few minutes ago. She's obviously hurting and feeling like easy child gets preferential treatment. I don't think I treat them very differently, but she has so many more sibling complaints than easy child and I don't address all of them. I'm not going to, either. Part of growing up is learning how to deal with these things. Plus, a lot of her complaints are part of her skewed perception. I've talked to her about these things, but unless I'm on easy child's case about [I]everything[/I] she comes to me about, she's not happy. It's hard, though, to see your child's unhappiness in black and white like that. The part that was the most heartbreaking read: [I]"and its only taken me a few minutes to type this, so you can tell, i didn't have to think about this. i have been for a couple years. but i knew if i told you, you wouldn't listen so, why bother?"[/I] She also said that "noone should have to live always thinking noone cares." It's devastating to hear that. But, I also know that she needs more than I think anyone can give her. There has always been this emptiness within her that she's trying to fill. Always. Sometimes I think I could take off skin and it wouldn't be enough to show her that I do care. I hear from her how much I don't care every. single. day. She even told me once, after I exhausted all possible remedies for a sore knee (ice, heat, massage, soaking in a tub, ibuprofen) that if I really cared I would think of something. How do you respond to that? I've read, researched, prayed, taken her to therapy, gotten her medications, talked with her, stayed up nights worrying, fought the system, researched more, read more, dug inside myself, talked to her, reasoned with her, and honest to God, I don't know how to help her. I do not know how to get through to her. [/QUOTE]
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