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difficult child slipped already
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 232702" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>RM, </p><p> </p><p>Ugh - well ya had me up until you said - NO harm to husband. (bwah ha haaaH) </p><p> </p><p>I have a policy about money. It's saved me a lot of heartache over the years, but it's a difficult thing to make into a habit. BECAUSE - it's money. </p><p> </p><p>However - I never "loan" money without a written contract. Ever. If you ask me for money and I "give" it to you - it's because I never expect to be repaid. If I am repaid then good for us both. In the future I MAY "loan" you more. If I don't get it back - it's a lesson learned. </p><p> </p><p>With my son? I give him money. I gave him money to get out of jail - I "loaned" him money for probation. I have a piece of paper and he has a balance. I wrote it out, I wrote out that certain chores = $ off his loan. So far he's been about 50/50 on doing the chores. That means when it comes time for probation, since he has been having trouble finding a job? I'm not giving him money. The catch? If he doesn't go to probation with money - he goes to a work camp. THAT hanging over your head is a lot worse than Mom being jilted out of a few hundred bucks. ESPECIALLY if you're a difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>recently he's taking some broken radios, vacuum cleaners and fixing them for cash for probation. He gets the broken things free from community service.....so at least he's thinking. And earning it on his own. So far he has only gotten $40 that we haven't gottent he work out of him for. It's written down - BUT ......with this new found way to make his own money and not have to "kill himself working at his parents" (bwah hah ha again) I'm not sure I'll ever see it. I'm not holding my breath either. </p><p> </p><p>I dont' know where your son is in the process of all of this - but I know that if he thinks that Mom will BAIL him out - he's less likely to be concerned about paying you back - I think Suz had a good idea. </p><p> </p><p>As far as him drinking? One day at a time Momma - HUGS. God Grant YOU the serenity too. </p><p> </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 232702, member: 4964"] RM, Ugh - well ya had me up until you said - NO harm to husband. (bwah ha haaaH) I have a policy about money. It's saved me a lot of heartache over the years, but it's a difficult thing to make into a habit. BECAUSE - it's money. However - I never "loan" money without a written contract. Ever. If you ask me for money and I "give" it to you - it's because I never expect to be repaid. If I am repaid then good for us both. In the future I MAY "loan" you more. If I don't get it back - it's a lesson learned. With my son? I give him money. I gave him money to get out of jail - I "loaned" him money for probation. I have a piece of paper and he has a balance. I wrote it out, I wrote out that certain chores = $ off his loan. So far he's been about 50/50 on doing the chores. That means when it comes time for probation, since he has been having trouble finding a job? I'm not giving him money. The catch? If he doesn't go to probation with money - he goes to a work camp. THAT hanging over your head is a lot worse than Mom being jilted out of a few hundred bucks. ESPECIALLY if you're a difficult child. recently he's taking some broken radios, vacuum cleaners and fixing them for cash for probation. He gets the broken things free from community service.....so at least he's thinking. And earning it on his own. So far he has only gotten $40 that we haven't gottent he work out of him for. It's written down - BUT ......with this new found way to make his own money and not have to "kill himself working at his parents" (bwah hah ha again) I'm not sure I'll ever see it. I'm not holding my breath either. I dont' know where your son is in the process of all of this - but I know that if he thinks that Mom will BAIL him out - he's less likely to be concerned about paying you back - I think Suz had a good idea. As far as him drinking? One day at a time Momma - HUGS. God Grant YOU the serenity too. Star [/QUOTE]
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