difficult child staying longer

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by STRESSEDTOMAX, Jun 13, 2008.



    We went up to see difficult child last night. He was so excited to see his 1 year old nephew that it made all of us cry. He was going to come home today but they have decided to keep him a few days longer to observe him on the Risperdal. They have increased the Risperdal from .5mg to 1.5mg. He has not shown any real aggression since Monday but the defiance continues. We are concerned about what's going to happen when he comes home-I guess I need to speak to the therapist about this.

    I am starting to see how strong my denial is about his illness- it seems that I am still doubting that it's not just bad parenting. Amazing. I guess if I accept it, I'll have to accept that this is not going to be solved anytime soon. Talk to you guys later.

  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that they are going to try to get his medications right before they send him home. Are they also going to have a post release plan for you all?

    About the "bad parenting" thoughts. First off, I don't think it's bad parenting in your case. Challenging parenting, to be sure! ;) But in my mind, for it to be 'bad parenting', that's something that goes on and on with disregard to our children's health and safety. All parents get to make mistakes. Mistakes are not 'bad parenting.' But, even if it was bad parenting, bad parenting doesn't happen in a day, and the recovery from it doesn't happen in a day, either.

    Whatever they find with your son, it's going to be a long row to hoe. Know that you can come here and talk and get advice (and give advice!) as long as you need. Even with 'normal' kids, parents are usually just exchanging one challenge for another.

    {{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}
  3. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I am impressed that they are keeping him, it's been my experience twice that they just push difficult child's out b4 they've even experienced the reality of difficult child.

    hang in there, you're doing what needs to be done and hopefully you've had some R & R to help prepare you for his dishcharge
  4. Bugsy

    Bugsy New Member

    I am glad you have updated us. I have been thinking about you.

    I am also glad they are keeping him until he is more stable.

    Do you know if the next step is an out-patient situation? I found that to be very helpful. Every day I would bring my son at 8:00am and then pick him up at 4:00pm. During the day he participated in individual therapy, group therapy, school, gym, art therapy, etc. Then they would send me home with a sheet to complete at night about how he was during the hours at home or on the weekend. It also made me feel better because he was still on a high level of care/observation but could come home at night. Being he is so young I really wanted to see him tucked in his bed every night.

    It is so hard to deal with it all. You are doing a great job parenting becaue you are doing what he needs even though it is hard, painful, worrisome and emotional.

    Stay strong, get rest,
    Bugsy's mom
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I too am glad they are keeping him a bit longer so they can see the results of the increase in medications.

    It's not bad parenting or you wouldn't be following through on getting him the help he needs. It is hard to realize with mental illness it isn't something that is going to be solved anytime soon. However, it is good to know what is going on so the proper treatment can be given. Sending gentle hugs your way!
  6. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Great news that he will be closely supervised for a little longer. Also sounds good that there has been no violence with the risperdal. For my difficult child, it stopped being effective after about two years but it made a huge difference for awhile.

    I understand what you are saying about thinking it is a parenting issue. If it was then you could change and the situation would be fixed (just like on Nanny 911, ha ha). My son was age four when he came into our care and had been neglected up to that point. We assumed that many of his behavioral issues could be corrected with love, praise, good parenting, developing routines, and consistant consequences. It took years to come to the realiziation that we couldn't "fix" things. He suffered from a mental illness and wasn't going to be catching up to his peers in many aspects of life. He is always going to struggle with his moods and temper but accepting this has helped us become more tolerant of his behaviors. We still have expectations but have become better at recognizing the times when he is not thinking clearly and has less control of his actions. We have learned to adapt accordingly. There are some days he can handle things and somedays he can't. Some days are pretty good and he's a fun kid to be around and somedays you wish you could go bck to bed and try again the next day.

    Good luck with the new medication and with your follow-up plans after your son returns home.
  7. Katz314

    Katz314 New Member

    You haven't killed this kid so far so I think you are doing pretty good J/K