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Substance Abuse
difficult child thrown out of sober house now in Rehab. Parole???
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 547724" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>RM, I'm sorry about your father in law. You did a good job in asking your difficult child to bring his sanity, and he did. Seems as if a lot of your stress will be gone now that father in law has passed and you have set strong boundaries with your difficult child and made a strong commitment to live out the rest of your days (from another post) with the focus on YOU. Good for you.</p><p></p><p>As I was reading your post I was thinking that with our difficult child's we have to set such strong boundaries, it takes us awhile to learn how to do that. We have to make sure all the hatches are battened down, all the holes in the fence are mended, every possible opening to our mother's heart is tightly closed down with absolutely no tiny crack visible to the difficult child, or he(she) will find it and manipulate it and squeeze in and then it all begins once again. That is not something that comes naturally, it's not something we know how to do, it's something we have to learn how to do and because they're our kids, we get complacent and vulnerable with them thinking we can trust them, but, mostly, we can't trust them in a way where we can be vulnerable and open like we can with our easy child's or others whom we love and trust. It's not natural to have to close down ourselves to our kids in a way that doesn't allow them access to us in most ways, but it becomes necessary for most of us. No wonder it takes so long to go through this stuff, it's as if we have to learn a whole new kind of parenting which has no real rules or guidelines, we have to make it up as we go along. Yikes. Sigh..............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 547724, member: 13542"] RM, I'm sorry about your father in law. You did a good job in asking your difficult child to bring his sanity, and he did. Seems as if a lot of your stress will be gone now that father in law has passed and you have set strong boundaries with your difficult child and made a strong commitment to live out the rest of your days (from another post) with the focus on YOU. Good for you. As I was reading your post I was thinking that with our difficult child's we have to set such strong boundaries, it takes us awhile to learn how to do that. We have to make sure all the hatches are battened down, all the holes in the fence are mended, every possible opening to our mother's heart is tightly closed down with absolutely no tiny crack visible to the difficult child, or he(she) will find it and manipulate it and squeeze in and then it all begins once again. That is not something that comes naturally, it's not something we know how to do, it's something we have to learn how to do and because they're our kids, we get complacent and vulnerable with them thinking we can trust them, but, mostly, we can't trust them in a way where we can be vulnerable and open like we can with our easy child's or others whom we love and trust. It's not natural to have to close down ourselves to our kids in a way that doesn't allow them access to us in most ways, but it becomes necessary for most of us. No wonder it takes so long to go through this stuff, it's as if we have to learn a whole new kind of parenting which has no real rules or guidelines, we have to make it up as we go along. Yikes. Sigh.............. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child thrown out of sober house now in Rehab. Parole???
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