Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
difficult child too critical of himself--a plan
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 97650" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>We fought many boughts of self loathing with our son. He would cut, hit, jab himself with sticks, etc... wehn he felt bad about something.</p><p></p><p>We did notice a very very strange pattern. If nice things were said TO him about things he had done he could not believe them. Just couldn't. Felt we were lying (We didn't, we were/are painfully honest with him, somply because he handles that better) or making it up or exaggerating.</p><p></p><p>BUT if we told someone else something nice he had done, or some good thing about him, he did believe more of this. It was as though he thought we would lie to HIM, but not to total strangers or grandparents or whomever.</p><p></p><p>After I brought it up the tdox watched him/us. Including "running into us" at the fair, etc... (Did I mention I adore her, she is fabulous and wonderful!!) She saw it after we talked about it. It was confusing to her, because that typically is NOT the way kids/people react. </p><p></p><p>We made a point to have phone conversations with people and to talk to others about good things about our difficult child. It did help.</p><p></p><p>I love the messy burger idea. now if somehow I could get mine to think CLEAN was a good idea!!</p><p></p><p>Having been the Room Mom nuts enough to go in and do art projects with the kids during parties or to give stressed teachers a break, I have a "Position Statement" on art and having to do it a "right way". </p><p></p><p>Are ya ready???</p><p></p><p>There are NO mistakes. There is only CUSTOMIZATION!</p><p></p><p>Lots of the times we had kids stressing about making things perfect. With this, I found we avoided the stress, the meltdowns, and all the other stuff.</p><p></p><p>Of course, it does not apply to laundry. But laundry is a chore, not an art.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 97650, member: 1233"] We fought many boughts of self loathing with our son. He would cut, hit, jab himself with sticks, etc... wehn he felt bad about something. We did notice a very very strange pattern. If nice things were said TO him about things he had done he could not believe them. Just couldn't. Felt we were lying (We didn't, we were/are painfully honest with him, somply because he handles that better) or making it up or exaggerating. BUT if we told someone else something nice he had done, or some good thing about him, he did believe more of this. It was as though he thought we would lie to HIM, but not to total strangers or grandparents or whomever. After I brought it up the tdox watched him/us. Including "running into us" at the fair, etc... (Did I mention I adore her, she is fabulous and wonderful!!) She saw it after we talked about it. It was confusing to her, because that typically is NOT the way kids/people react. We made a point to have phone conversations with people and to talk to others about good things about our difficult child. It did help. I love the messy burger idea. now if somehow I could get mine to think CLEAN was a good idea!! Having been the Room Mom nuts enough to go in and do art projects with the kids during parties or to give stressed teachers a break, I have a "Position Statement" on art and having to do it a "right way". Are ya ready??? There are NO mistakes. There is only CUSTOMIZATION! Lots of the times we had kids stressing about making things perfect. With this, I found we avoided the stress, the meltdowns, and all the other stuff. Of course, it does not apply to laundry. But laundry is a chore, not an art. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
difficult child too critical of himself--a plan
Top