difficult child tried her stuff at new apartment. Sent her right on back to foster home.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jody, Apr 4, 2011.

  1. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    This kid is so hard headed. I told her when I got my apartment, there will not be bad memories here. Home is happy for me and that's the way I want it to stay. I picked her up on Friday and she was in a mood, ugh. Nothing satisfied her and she was really testing my patience. I had told her if she helped me geta few things done, I would take her to Aldi's so she could get something special that she wanted there for a weekend treat. We never made it because of the behavior. A full fledge temper tantrum ensues. Kicking the car, and banging on the dash board. I didn't say anything to her but drove her straight to her foster home. She really showed out then. Could barely get her out of the car and into the house. Nuts. I told her I would pick her up on Saturday if she could straighten up. She was okay as long as you didn't ask her to do anything or interrupt her in anyway. Not. She starts screaming and yelling as loud as she can. Trying to cause me a problem at my new house. Cursing, oh it was ugly. I called the foster mom and she came and got her. I cannot do that stuff ever again. After it happened I have been a nervous wreck for two days. Terrible dreams, much anxety. Crying off and on all day. Bad Fibromyalga attack, probably due to rain and much stress. I have stuff from moving that hasn't been all put away, I was afraid she was going to physically hurt me with anything she could pick up. She didn't do that, thank goodness. I love my house and I want to continue to love it. I have moved so many times due to her behavior. I just don't want to jeopardize anything ever again. Right now I don't want to see her. Ugh, I know long rant, but just needed to talk about it. Thank you.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    (((Hugs))) I remember those disasterous home visits with Kanga -- thankfully just two before I got treatmen team on board to stop them.

    Can you visit at the foster's house??
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It



    I know it must have been so awful for you when she flipped out that way. Taking her back right away was exactly the right thing to do. So was trying to do things that were "not fun" but were things that had to ahppen. Some of us make the mistake of making home visits all about the difficult child, not pushing them to do anything that they don't want to, doing things that normally wouldn't be done, etc... It is a mistake Occupational Therapist (OT) do that because then the difficult child figures that coming home iwll be just like the home visits and things turn ugly when they are discharged home to find that the world still doesn't revolve aorund them, than homewrok still has to be done, chores are still there and there isn't a party every night just to celebrate them.

    So you did things just right even if the outcome was not something anyone wants to endure. GOOD JOB!!

    Are you seeing a therapist? If not, contact the caseworker handling your daughter and ask her to help you get set up with a therapist. PTSD is no fun and there IS help for it. I promise.
  5. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Thank you, I felt really good about how I responded and the action that I took. I am very anxious about her coming home again on Friday. I am hoping that she understands that she will not stay and treat me that way. She always thinks the world revolves around her. Her Birthday is in May and she called me yesterday and wanted to know what I was getting her for her Birthday. I simply told her that I was not going to even think about her Birthday right now, period. Ugh, I can't believe this kid, you just got done calling me filthy names and acting like a nut at my new apartment and then the next day, you want to know what am I getting you for your birthday. I do see a therapist and I am working on these issues. I definately need some help with PTSD and am hoping that I can get over it, seems kind of hard when you are still going thru the junk.