difficult child Turns 14 yrs today

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Charmedpea, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    Well we made it to 14yrs. they were going to change her medications. But of course mom couldnt remember what the one dr. wanted to change it to. I did some reading on it and some of the posts here and I think I really didnt want to remember.

    I didnt like the side affects.. Still on concerta. And she has been for the most part wonderful. We went from every hour/2 hours of her lashing out. it was horrible.

    One of the last explosive times she has had and called me every name in the book, I told her I am not going to be verbally abused by her. That stopped her dead in her tracks. She turned around and said I dont abuse you. Oh yes you do and i wont let you do it to me anymore.

    she has said I hate you once in the last 3 weeks. I am taking that as a victory. Oh and she came home on time the other night. I was so excited didnt let her know that. but did acknowledge that I noticed she did and thanked her for listening and following direction.

    I took her shopping for her birthday, told her here is your limit and she stuck to it. Didnt give me grief to go over it. Like she normally does.

    I am just waiting for the other shoe to fall.I know its going to rear its ugly head again. Dont get me wrong she still gets upset with people and she lets me know it. but she is handling it better. after we talk about it. And she knows I wont talk to her when she is in that zone of hers.

    she has even stuck up for her dad when we get into an arguement. Which is a first. She is also keeping better contact with us when she is out. she will call if their is a change of plans or where she is.

    anywho 14yrs old and trying to get threw one day at a time.

  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    They can't change overnight so we do take the daily step by step accomplishments as victories.

    I am so happy that you are seeing the improvements. It makes it easier to get through those nasty moments.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, since I couldn't decide which was more in order, I will say both-



    I'm so sorry.... (LOL!)

    My difficult child will have that b-day in 6 mos, and I'm finding that it must get more and more difficult as they go thru the teen years to distinguish between typical teen obnoxious behavior and pushing the limits and difficult child'ness that needs to be addressed with medications and other difficult child-parent methods!

    It sounds like your daughter is being pretty much typical teen right now and you seem to be handling it well!!
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That's GREAT to hear!!! I hope we get to see similar improvements in OUR house soon, since difficult child 1 turns 14 in six more weeks :) He comes home from camp tomorrow, and I'm hoping he's matured a tiny bit in the week he was there...
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    Enjoy the daily victories! Happy Birthday to difficult child :)
  6. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    yep I enjoyed it while it lasted. We let her spend the night at her friends the night of her birthday. the next day hubby brought her, her medications she was fine. Hubby told her to be home at 9pm. Ok now the drama starts. She is not home on time. Hangs up on me. GRRRRRRRRRRRr..

    OK now she has my phone, I'm at work on thursday and I get a call from my bosses boss not good. I wasnt in trouble but it could have turned ugly. She was calling one of the sales reps and hanging up so he called the higher boss asked her to call me to see if I was ok. I said sorry so many times. I wanted to kill her. I called her and said please dont call that number its work related. she went off on me I didnt call anyone. Ok then who has my cell phone. My number is programed in his phone with my name. No one has used your phone. ugh..... I go driving around last night trying to find her. She calls and said she will be home soon she is walking where are you I will pick you up. no i will walk. then her friends dad drives to my house I was sitting out side waiting for her, he has been looking for her also. I asked what happen they said they didnt know.

    she told them she doesnt feel like dealing with her dad. Oh because now she is late and she is in her mode and she doesnt give a hoot. She walks down town which is not far from my house see's her uncle in a bar and has someone get him. Her friends dad goes and picks her up. she comes in crying I ask what is going on she said nothing I dont want to talk about it. fine give me my cell phone. she tells me no. I'm a b*tch. and ever name in the book again.

    She will never in the next year use my cell phone. she has broken 3 off them. I cant afford to replace the darn things. I new it wouldnt last. she was just doing so well. and I new it was to good to be true. Hubby was going to go back to work a week from monday, that is how well she was doing. Now we are not sure. That is it for now.

    I am so frustrated, I couldnt wait to get on her and vent, but had to wait till i was alone, she would not leave me alone. I locked myself in my room, with tv, puter cup of coffee, and now finially relaxing.

    Thanks for listening.

  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, so sorry. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop and it did.
    But she did so well for her birthday! So you know she can do it.

    Now it's time to give it a break, then have a talk. It's exhausting, I know.

    Take care.
  8. Charmedpea

    Charmedpea New Member

    Terry we actually had a couple of weeks with no incident.. I new, I hate being right. it s*cks. Well lets see how she is today when she wakes up. Crossing fingers.

    I have my armor on just incase. does anyone know if they grow out of this ODD or not grow out of it but handles life sort of speak better learns her behavor is not acceptable, by us or anyone?

  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry the other shoe dropped. It is harder sometimes after a good period because we get so hopeful. Hugs.