difficult child Update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mattsmom27, Feb 8, 2007.

  1. mattsmom27

    mattsmom27 Active Member

    I had posted about difficult child doing pretty well at home, really well actually, but slacking on homework etc. Turns out he was REALLY behind on assignments and hiding it from me. GRRR! Small bananas compared to the difficult child of old, but a worry, especially due to escalating homework skirmishes when I would try to get him to complete work after school.
    I also posted that he broke up with his g/f and he told her had to concentrate on school and with basketball too he was overwhelmed. I was suprised at his reasoning for breaking up with her, but also suprised because he for the first school year ever, has made no friends. Zero.
    Well the day after he broke up with her, she was told that she was advancing to high school for second semester. (Previously failed a grade but I guess she worked her hiney off and was allowed to move on mid-year to grade 9).
    Suddenly all of the kids in the school were all over difficult child, talking with him, asking him to do social things outside of school, giving their IM information etc. I was stunned!! I thought his former g/f was the "popular girl" and it turns out difficult child's involvement with her was stopping friendships between him and others for a bunch of reasons.
    So difficult child this week has bloomed! He has not had to be woken up repeatedly in the morning to shower and get ready. He just gets up and goes. He worked his :censored2: off on all the assignments he was behind on (took ALOT of work, he had been hiding ALOT of missed work!). I think with all his new friends he doesnt' want to be embarrassed about not doing work or having horrid grades.
    I am so happy for difficult child. He formerly was friends with teens WAY to old for him, 17,18 year olds. Some dropped out of high school. One has a baby on the way! They are all moving towards adulthood, difficult child is only 13 and in elementary school (albeit about to graduate). So he is making friends with kids his own age, who do age appropriate things. I am thrilled!
    Today he gave me a gray hair. Principal calls, he was MIA, last seen getting his coat from his locker. They did a announcement school wide repeatedly for him to check in at office, nobody saw him leave but he wasn't found. If I hadn't been at home for the call, the school would have had to call police! Heart pounding, I asked what happened. I assumed difficult child flipped out in class or something. Principal said nothing happened. He just went for water in the hallway, was seen getting his coat, then no sign of him.
    Well in stumbles difficult child about 10 minutes later. Thankfully I did not flip out. I said not a word, dialed the principal and said difficult child was here and I'd put him on to speak with her while I listened so we could get the story at the same time to avoid him telling us each different stories. Turns out he was just being a typical difficult child, just not thinking. He is exempt due to his IEP from French class which is the last period before lunch. He normally has to use this class time to catch up on school work, do homework to avoid it coming home at night etc. Well since he now has friends he doesn't want to come home for lunch, wants to hang with his new friends in cafeteria and outside afterwards. So he just decided to come home during his exempt period and grab some food since he hadn't packed a lunch and he didn't want to be in the cafeteria without a lunch with his new friends. Of course, no thought to that he is in elementary school and a kid MIA raises concerns/fears and that he can't just made decisions like this. Foolish kid, had he went to office and explained this to principal, he could have called home for permission to me and I'm sure we would have agreed that was okay, or I would have ran a lunch or lunch money down to the school before lunch period. DOH!
    So he headed right back to school, with lunch money, and lost his lunch with friends. Instead he'll be in the resource room until class this afternoon, doing his work, as consequence for skipping his work period.
    This could have been so much worse. Phew/whew!!!
    He was respectful to me and principal, said after hearing from us the problem in what he did, he was wrong, and he understood missing lunch to make up the period. He was on his way back to school without even taking his boots or coat off.

    So everyone...Things continue to improve, stupid decisions at times but not life changing or destructive or damaging. His basketball team is undefeated and have a tournament this weekend and next month I will go out of town with him to a tournament in Ottawa which he is excited about. The whole hotel thing etc, provincial championships. He is showing interest in things again. He is making friends again, and better choice of friends.


  2. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    WOW! :bravo: -RM
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Sounds great. I am so glad he is continuing to improve. He will make mistakes along the way---that is natural. The key is that he has learned to correct them and move on. That's maturity.
  4. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    What a wonderful post!