difficult child update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Apr 28, 2009.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    So I talked to the principal about difficult child and his overnight field trip. Really had a good conversation. He said that for difficult child his ability to go on the field trip would be based on his behavior, not so much his missing assignments. difficult child has been put on a behavior contract as his behavior that has been good for so long has been slipping a little bit. He has had 2 pushing matches in the last week and a half.

    I just got a call from the principal and apparently difficult child hit a kid over the head with his books this morning. Nice, a new weapon. :sick: He has lost part of his Asia assembly this Friday, he will miss the kick off assembly and go to the second part of it. Not sure what this is, but sounds like a good consequence. Principal did say he thought the other kid said something to difficult child and then I said it does not matter. Unless you are protecting yourself because someone is going to do you physical harm, you keep your hands off of them. If someone says something rude to me at the grocery store and I wack them over the head with a book I will get arrested. Period end of story.

    Now I am wondering about the recent medication change we did. We increased his Lamictal to 250mg as he seemed hypomanic, and now I am wondering if the Daytrana should go up to match it? He is not hypomanic now (or waas not when he left the house this morning) but he has definately been more impulsive, obnoxious lately. I have e-mailed his teacher to see how he has been in the classroom lately, as I hate to change medications without all the facts. I know that for many kiddos with BiPolar (BP) the stimulant can make things worse, but for difficult child if he does not have the stimulant then he is unbearable, but the stimulant and the ms have to be at the right balance and I do not know if we messed that up by changing one and not the other.

    I also know that we had a rough morning at home today, and wonder if that did not set him up for a bad day at school? I am not blaming myself here, I am only human and cannot make everything right, I am just looking for patterns.
     
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    are you keeping a difficult child calendar?

    That may prove to be worth it's weight in gold.....

    I hit someone over the head with books on the bus once. She jabbed me in the back with a pencil. But because I couldn't take my top off and show the bus driver the pencil led in my back - and the girl I hit was nearly out cold? I got the ISS......and got put off the bus for a week. I was in 11th grade....sigh.

    (um what were we saying about NOT hitting people?)

    (star notes shes was not a good example) lol :confused:
     
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    It's probably best to just report the symptoms you are seeing to the psychiatrist and let him/her advise you on what to do. Everybody has "off" days, but if you're noticing a definite change in the pattern for more than just a couple days since adjusting his medications, then there's probably something going on that needs to be addressed in his dosing.

    I know what you mean about how OUR off days as parents can affect our difficult child's. Happens here, too.
     
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Well, according to difficult child this kid has been picking on him, and difficult child got tired of it. I asked him why he did not tell anyone, and he said because the kid he was picking on said he would be a tattle tail if he did. I am tired of his excuses, his lies, of it all. He did not get hit, the other kid was making fun of him. The other kid was wrong, but difficult child should have went to an adult sooner.


    I do keep a difficult child journal, and if the other kid had been physical with difficult child first I would feel differently, but he wasn't and the only story that I have is from difficult child and the principal and difficult child is not truthful.



    Then I told husband about the incident and when difficult child got home husband talked to him. Fine and dandy. So then husband calls the school and talks to the principal. Ok, so now it looks like husband and I never talk to each other. Ug Ug Ug. I asked him what they talked about, and he said the same thing that the principal and I talked about. Well, now how do you know what we said? In all the years difficult child has been in school now he takes an interest? And I feel very undermined. I am really ticked.

    Calgon take me away.
     
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Iposted elsewhere about how I donged a girl over the head with the school handbell, when I was 13. She had upset me but not touched me physically. But sometimes especially when we're young and impulsive, we don't have the control to not react physically.

    The important thing to keep in mind - what is goning to teach the lesson the most effectively? If the message is already well and truly across, then further punishment won't achieve anything. Sometimes the best punishment is to make amends somehow. It certainly is the most appropriate!

    Marg
     
  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Marg, the problem is amends are only good if they are genuine. difficult child does not thing he did any thing wrong, and sees no other options to his actions. I guess I have never seen the point to forcing an apology if it is not really and truely felt by the person giving it.
     
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