klmno
Active Member
medications: difficult child told me on Sun. that he could tell that he wanted "to move" a little more than usual but he could keep control of it so far. He told me tonight that he could tell his memory was much better (He had been on MS's.) He said sometimes it is very noisy at night and it's hard for him to get to sleep so he might ask psychiatrist to put him back on a small dose of something for sleep. (I think I'd prefer that the staff make the boys hush when their quiet hours roll around.) He wasn't having trouble sleeping at all until this week but their regular school schedule started on Mon. so my guess is that the boys on the unit have been rowdy this week. I'm not fond of sleep medications for situations like that, especially for kids.
School: Going great- in spite of the sd psychiatric's ridiculous evaluation. I'm still waiting on her revised one and for them to get an IEE underway. Now, in her evaluation, she said she gave him the typical IQ test and he tested average and that his grades have averaged out, so his "disability" does not effect him academically accept thru behavior. BS. I don't know how accurate those IQ tests are, but she admitted that she never reviewed difficult child's aptitude tests and Standard of Learning tests from school which he's been taking since 3rd grade. Not that they indicate brilliance, but they have ranged from him scoring in the 90+ percentile to the 16th percentile. But she seems to think because they average to an "average" that this is ok. And, she failed to acknowledge or review the fact that difficult child's average grades over the past 2 years have been with him on an IEP. But if that's not enough to convince me that this was an incompetent evaluation- here is what his current school staff say:
difficult child had 3 teachers from this summer specifically asked for him to go to higher level classes than they had planned to put him. difficult child made very good grades except in PE and told the sd personnel that he wants to be a vet so they put him on the track for an Advanced Diploma. I know he might not be able to make it all the way thru high school with those more stringent requirements, but I'm proud of him for getting this recommendation for it and for being motivated with school. He called tonight and is so proud of himself! And, since he has to be in JROTC in there, he said he was thinking about asking if he could be in their drill team. He's just starting in JROTC so he'd have to learn some more before they'd actually let him participate, but I think it's good that he thought about it. The sd psychiatric wanted us to tell difficult child that he had average intelligence and therefore, should not go for the advanced diploma. The rest of us on the iep team disagreed with that and wrote the iep allowing difficult child to go for it, but agreeing not to pressure him if he started getting stressed, overwhelmed, or struggling with grades. Anyway, he had an iep in place this summer, too, and although he doesn't need academic supports in the most basic sense, he does need the time management help, the positive support, etc.
I didn't send that draft letter to the parole officer but am writing another that puts more emphasis on trying to work something feasible out so difficult child can come straight home upon his release. I just think that it's impossible for me to do all this guy wants. He's only racking up all these requirements because one person recommends a mentor, another a therapist, another family therapy, so we end up with all of them ordered. That will be on top of an enormous amount of homework difficult child will have and me trying to work 40 hours a week. It can't be done and no matter what the legal authorities might think, stress is a big contributor to problems with difficult child. If the darn GAL and PO cared to look into what the mental health profs say and actually took that serious, they would know that. Of course, if I go in and say "difficult child does not fit your typical mold for a delinquent around here- his behavior is not the result of gang affiliation or growing up in a house with no structure or around people who don't respect the law- difficult child has ISSUES", you know what kind of reaction I'd get??
I'm working hard on wording in this letter. I'm trying hard to convey that if he's behaving and motivated and working hard at school, I don't think it's in his best interest or helping his rehabilitation to order services that compromise his ability to meet the educational opportunities he's been given. Also, I'm asking him to review the priorities. The PO said himself it would not be in difficult child's best interest to go to a group home. Well, if his priority is for difficult child to get every ideal service out there, he'll have to go to a group home because it will take full time staff to accommodate it since he says he can't get difficult child transportation to and from all these places and difficult child isn't old enough to get a driver's license. If he's got the same "that's your problem" attitude that the probation officer and her super did, we have a problem. What doesn't make sense it that they told me last year that if I couldn't do all that, keep difficult child supervised, and still find a way to support him, I'd be hit with a neglect charge. Well, if I'm in jail because I couldn't do all this, they have to find another home for difficult child then- so aren't they defeating their own purpose? Or is their purpose just to nail me? I know the GAL wants to blame me for all difficult child's problems. But she's a very inexperienced, naive attny so I'm not surprised at all. She actually wanted difficult child to be told about the abuse I went thru with my family as a child when he was 13yo. No one agreed with her on that one. I'm just bringing that up as a reminder of the kind of people I'm dealing with here. Thhey aren't exactly knowledgable, rational, and reasonable.
Sorry for rambling- I just thought I'd throw out an update and get some thoughts off my mind!
School: Going great- in spite of the sd psychiatric's ridiculous evaluation. I'm still waiting on her revised one and for them to get an IEE underway. Now, in her evaluation, she said she gave him the typical IQ test and he tested average and that his grades have averaged out, so his "disability" does not effect him academically accept thru behavior. BS. I don't know how accurate those IQ tests are, but she admitted that she never reviewed difficult child's aptitude tests and Standard of Learning tests from school which he's been taking since 3rd grade. Not that they indicate brilliance, but they have ranged from him scoring in the 90+ percentile to the 16th percentile. But she seems to think because they average to an "average" that this is ok. And, she failed to acknowledge or review the fact that difficult child's average grades over the past 2 years have been with him on an IEP. But if that's not enough to convince me that this was an incompetent evaluation- here is what his current school staff say:
difficult child had 3 teachers from this summer specifically asked for him to go to higher level classes than they had planned to put him. difficult child made very good grades except in PE and told the sd personnel that he wants to be a vet so they put him on the track for an Advanced Diploma. I know he might not be able to make it all the way thru high school with those more stringent requirements, but I'm proud of him for getting this recommendation for it and for being motivated with school. He called tonight and is so proud of himself! And, since he has to be in JROTC in there, he said he was thinking about asking if he could be in their drill team. He's just starting in JROTC so he'd have to learn some more before they'd actually let him participate, but I think it's good that he thought about it. The sd psychiatric wanted us to tell difficult child that he had average intelligence and therefore, should not go for the advanced diploma. The rest of us on the iep team disagreed with that and wrote the iep allowing difficult child to go for it, but agreeing not to pressure him if he started getting stressed, overwhelmed, or struggling with grades. Anyway, he had an iep in place this summer, too, and although he doesn't need academic supports in the most basic sense, he does need the time management help, the positive support, etc.
I didn't send that draft letter to the parole officer but am writing another that puts more emphasis on trying to work something feasible out so difficult child can come straight home upon his release. I just think that it's impossible for me to do all this guy wants. He's only racking up all these requirements because one person recommends a mentor, another a therapist, another family therapy, so we end up with all of them ordered. That will be on top of an enormous amount of homework difficult child will have and me trying to work 40 hours a week. It can't be done and no matter what the legal authorities might think, stress is a big contributor to problems with difficult child. If the darn GAL and PO cared to look into what the mental health profs say and actually took that serious, they would know that. Of course, if I go in and say "difficult child does not fit your typical mold for a delinquent around here- his behavior is not the result of gang affiliation or growing up in a house with no structure or around people who don't respect the law- difficult child has ISSUES", you know what kind of reaction I'd get??
I'm working hard on wording in this letter. I'm trying hard to convey that if he's behaving and motivated and working hard at school, I don't think it's in his best interest or helping his rehabilitation to order services that compromise his ability to meet the educational opportunities he's been given. Also, I'm asking him to review the priorities. The PO said himself it would not be in difficult child's best interest to go to a group home. Well, if his priority is for difficult child to get every ideal service out there, he'll have to go to a group home because it will take full time staff to accommodate it since he says he can't get difficult child transportation to and from all these places and difficult child isn't old enough to get a driver's license. If he's got the same "that's your problem" attitude that the probation officer and her super did, we have a problem. What doesn't make sense it that they told me last year that if I couldn't do all that, keep difficult child supervised, and still find a way to support him, I'd be hit with a neglect charge. Well, if I'm in jail because I couldn't do all this, they have to find another home for difficult child then- so aren't they defeating their own purpose? Or is their purpose just to nail me? I know the GAL wants to blame me for all difficult child's problems. But she's a very inexperienced, naive attny so I'm not surprised at all. She actually wanted difficult child to be told about the abuse I went thru with my family as a child when he was 13yo. No one agreed with her on that one. I'm just bringing that up as a reminder of the kind of people I'm dealing with here. Thhey aren't exactly knowledgable, rational, and reasonable.
Sorry for rambling- I just thought I'd throw out an update and get some thoughts off my mind!
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