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difficult child update
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 306962" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>So what does he do when he gets one of his headaches? Are you able to work with husband on rules and expectations?</p><p></p><p>At this point getting control back will be very hard. It will also lead to him saying and yelling awful things. You have taken any criticism or denial of affection very very personally. He has used this very effectively for as long as I have known you.</p><p></p><p>It is going to be this way for a long time, possibly permanently unless and until you work up the gumption to refuse to let him treat you poorly. He treats you badly and you fall all over yourself trying to figure out why, and give into demands or do extra nice stuff for him so he will be nice to you.</p><p></p><p>You won't ever be able to stop him from having sex. Our generation didn't let parents stop us from having sex, and no other generation has or will let parents interfere. It is a personal choice and no one can take it from you. At least he is using condoms. </p><p></p><p>My kids were told that if I found them having sex before they are adults they will have to go to the doctor, talk about it, and have the battery of tests for STD's done. On THEIR dime. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry he is not doing what you want him to. With the way his father treats you he has seen no better way to treat a female in his life. You have taken it from his dad, and now you have him doing it. It isn't fun. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are miserable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 306962, member: 1233"] So what does he do when he gets one of his headaches? Are you able to work with husband on rules and expectations? At this point getting control back will be very hard. It will also lead to him saying and yelling awful things. You have taken any criticism or denial of affection very very personally. He has used this very effectively for as long as I have known you. It is going to be this way for a long time, possibly permanently unless and until you work up the gumption to refuse to let him treat you poorly. He treats you badly and you fall all over yourself trying to figure out why, and give into demands or do extra nice stuff for him so he will be nice to you. You won't ever be able to stop him from having sex. Our generation didn't let parents stop us from having sex, and no other generation has or will let parents interfere. It is a personal choice and no one can take it from you. At least he is using condoms. My kids were told that if I found them having sex before they are adults they will have to go to the doctor, talk about it, and have the battery of tests for STD's done. On THEIR dime. I am sorry he is not doing what you want him to. With the way his father treats you he has seen no better way to treat a female in his life. You have taken it from his dad, and now you have him doing it. It isn't fun. I am sorry you are miserable. [/QUOTE]
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