hi i haven't been on boards, and i hate that. it makes me better when i am here yet right now there are so many balls in air again i am juggling and dropping some lol. difficult child has been rough. she's scared in this house now even though i do not speak of it. her and easy child wont' stay alone here at all. makes me working 2 nights alot harder. she's been nasty in the a.m. getting to school late, insecure, argumentative. i'm doing my best yet i'm wiped out literally. every night at bedtime is a 35 minute therapy session when i'm depleted and there isnt' much left. which makes me feel guilty i give so much during day and have nothing left at night for her. i try though. yet it's hard. her therapist has been out sick so we haven't been to 2 appts now which is making it harder. she's afraid of summer and i am too i know she can't handle camp and now i have this job. so overall i'm trying to breath through it, i know i shoudlnt' complain yet i'm struggling. i just had to get that out before i go run now to someone elses's cse meeting at a school. i know i have reserve to pull from, yet there are days i'm tired and spent nad just wanna throw my hands up and say ok why all this carp?? thanks for listening, especially since i've had zero time to be there for anyone else lately. i can't even be there for me lately.