difficult child wanted to do voluntary commit

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by oceans, Feb 2, 2007.

  1. oceans

    oceans New Member

    This morning difficult child refused to go to therapeutic school. It seemed that nothing we tried was going to work. We took away all his things and he said he did not care, then he kicked me. DS called the police. They went upstairs and spoke with him to see if they could figure out what was going on with him and if they could talk him into going to school. They said that they could tell by the state of his room and how closed off he was that he was not doing well. difficult child told him that he wanted to be committed to the hospital.

    They came downstairs with him and handcuffed him and put him in the police car. They told us to follow them to the hospital. We went into the ER and sat for a very long time. We spoke with a social worker who said that he would most likely be committed, but they needed to do an evaluation on him first. They said there were no beds and so he would need to be transported to a different hospital and they needed to call around and see what was available.

    They told us it would take hours to get all this done, and so I am at work, but I really cannot concentrate. DS is home waiting for a call. I feel like crying and my head feels awful. I probably should not even be here at work, but I don't know what I would do at home while waiting for the phone call either.

    Things keep going through my mind. Maybe we should not have called the police. Maybe we should have just left him sleeping like he wanted and taken away everything first. I'll bet he eventually would have gotten bored and gone back to school next week. I feel really horrible!!!!!!
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im sorry. Actually this may be for the best. My son was committed to Dorothea Dix into the the teen unit. He turned 16 there. I have no idea if that is till open because I know there was talk of it closing and moving everything to Butner but I would still not be afraid of the state hospital for teens. We had a very good experience. It is not fancy but they were good. Better than anything we got private.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Oceans, I'm really sorry. But I think you did the right thing, and I agree with Janet that this may be for the best. You've been struggling for a long time trying to get your difficult child the right treatment, and nothing has worked so far. I hope the hospital is a step in the right direction. Sending many gentle hugs your way.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Another supporter saying you did the right thing. Abuse should never be tolerated. He is crying out for help. Stand firm. I would imagine this is for the best.

  5. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    I also think you did the right thing. Sometimes this is needed. I know it's hard. I'm sorry you're hurting.
  6. oceans

    oceans New Member

    Thank you for the support. They called and said that they got him a bed at UNC-Chapel Hill. They will transport him there this evening. The bad part now is our insurance who only gave him one day of inpatient coverage! They said that they would need call to try to get more coverage each day! I know it will be senseless if he gets released tomorrow. I put a call in to insurance and am waiting for a call back. I was hoping that he would get medications adjusted and some actual help, since he is going!!! The policy states 20 days out of network/year and 30 days in network/yr. It seems you think you have some coverage, but then they deny it from you!!!
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Oceans, my understanding is that this is pretty standard procedure for inpatient hospital stays. When easy child was in a children's hospital last summer, the hospital needed to get approval each and every day she was there. The hospitals know what words to use to justify hospital stays. If you don't get any satisfaction from your insurance company, try talking to a patient advocate or caseworker at the hospital.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry he is so struggling. I agree with the others in that I think you did the right thing. It's hard but sounds like what he needs right now. Hugs.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    UNC Chapel Hill is a very good hospital. My son had some testing done there when he was ten. I believe they have a sliding scale program too so if the insurance thing gets mucked up dont worry about it. If push comes to shove they can always transfer him to the state hospital. Like I said...please dont fear that as a possibility. I know people think of those places as something from One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest but it wasnt that way at all. But I am pretty sure UNC-CH has the sliding scale so that shouldnt be a problem anyway...just as the state hospital does.

    I wonder...with all the medication problems you have had...ask if you can have him seen by their psychopharmacologist there. That is the testing my son had which was quite interesting.
  10. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Oceans, he asked for this. That is a really good sign. he is in trouble, he is recognising he's not in control and knows he needs more than you can give him. I think it was very wise of him to ask for this.

  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oceans, sending many hugs your way. I think you did the right hting - actually it was him that made the choice to put himself where he is today, and I think that is really a good sign.
  12. oceans

    oceans New Member

    UNC called me at 5 AM this morning to say he arrived and that they would call again later in the morning. Duke changed him to an involuntary commit, and then had the sheriff transport him. I can't believe that it took them all night to do it.

    Janet- I will ask them about the psycho pharmacologist. That sounds like a great idea. What kind of testing do they do there? I have heard some good things about UNC. Someone from a NAMI class I signed up for said that they were the only ones in this area who made a difference in getting her daughter better. She said there was a step up unit that was free to her daughter once she turned 18 and had no insurance. She said it was wonderful.
  13. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Oceans, my friend - big (((hugs)))

    I think it's so awesome he asked for the help himself. What a big step for him :bravo:

    I know you're so sad and hurt over what is going on, but it sounds like he's going to get some really great help here. I'm really glad he is moving like he is.

    Keeping positive thoughts. If you want to write, you still have my email? If not, PM me.

    Hugs, lady.

  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Just a note, and a warning. Effexor withdrawal isn't like Lithium withdrawal. It is BRUTAL. He will likely get even worse until the chemical balance in his system is restored. I consider the hospital more helpful than the police, abuse or not. Why label a mentally ill kid a "bad" kid, especially if he's coming off a medication that may have influenced his behavior? Our one experience with calling the police was not a good one. They didn't seem to "get" mental illness. But, hey, he's in the hospital now and that's a GOOD thing and many people here disagree with me on the police issue. Then, again, I have a mental illness--I doubt the police would have helped me until I got stable. (((Hugs))) Your son is getting help--that's what matters.
  15. OTE

    OTE Active Member

    Sorry I wasn't on the board yesterday. I read it this a.m. and relayed it to C and she's available to help you if you need anything, as am I obviously. I'm going to e-mail you the info I know and the people I know at UNC. You're obviously very lucky to get him in there, I was never so lucky. Though I have no complaints about Butner. (I don't believe that they refer to Dix from this area though I did note that the kid in the news this week was there. I believe all the shorter term ones go to Butner as mine and others I know here have. Maybe the very long term, criminal, over 16 ones go to Dix?) So count your blessings, I can assure you that UNC knows what they are doing, are up on the latest research, even if they didn't do it! LOL.

    Please read the article, very short, that I posted on general about BiPolar (BP) vs SMD. Keep that in mind.

    We missed you this morning, I assume that you were home waiting for the call rather than with us. Don't forget, you want to talk you know the number for me and for C.
  16. oceans

    oceans New Member

    Midwest- I maybe have not updated my profile...but he has been off the effexor for awhile now. He went from effexor to Wellbutrin which also did not work. He stopped taking the Wellbutrin on his own because he said he felt funny from it. He was off all medications for about a week and really spiraled downward. He was put back on Zoloft (which did not help before although no bad reactions) and we were finally going to try Lamictal. This happened before we had a chance to add the Lamictal. I don't think that we could have gotten him admitted inpatient if it were not for the police. I think that maybe he will get the additional help that he needs now. At least I hope so!

    Thanks Janna- I sent you an email.

    OTE- Thank you for all the information. I agree with the article you posted. I have lots of reading and filling out of forms to do. I emailed you as well.
  17. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    Spiralling downward after the abrupt discontinuation of an antidepressant should be expected. It happens regardless of why the antidepressant was prescribed. For instance, a woman committed suicide in the Cymbalta trials was what they call a "healthy" subject. She didn't have depression or any psychiatric diagnosis. Within days of the abrupt discontinuation of the drug she hung herself at the testing facility. After that, the drug company changed it's protocol and no longer discontinued the drug that quickly.

    It doesn't always happen but no one should be surprised if it does, especially a doctor.
  18. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    I have been wondering ---
    did your kid and the police maybe come to agreement on psychiatric hospital as an alternative to ......being in some kind of legal trouble?
  19. oceans

    oceans New Member

    Dreamer-I don't think so. Actually, the psychologist spoke with them on the phone at my house and he told them that he thought getting him to agree to go to school would be the best thing at this time. difficult child had told me he would rather be in the hospital than go to school a short while before. When they went up to talk to him and saw the state he was in, and the state of his room (and that he was refusing school)they told us that it was clear that he was not caring for himself and that he needed help. They then decided to talk to him about voluntarily going to the hospital. They had told us that they thought we should get the paperwork and do an involuntary based on what they saw of his condition. They were also concerned that he kicked me, and he had also been telling me that he was going to stab me in my sleep. They take that sort of talk seriously. Plus I have needed to call husband to come home and help me before when I was alone with him. I just had surgery and could not move, and he was throwing my medications around the room and kicking my mattress around with me on it because I told him that because he did not go to school, I did not feel he should be on the internet.

    Now, difficult child had a different idea about the hospital. He told me that he thought he would be able to lay around and sleep, and basically not do anything except eat and maybe watch TV. I told him that he would be doing therapy, talking to doctors a lot, and even having school work while he was in there. I don't think he actually believed me. Perhaps that is why he is now mad. He blames us right now. I think that in time he will get over being mad. I just am hoping that he can start to function again and feel good about himself.
  20. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    I am not sure I worded my question quite right......
    Um.....well, no, of course I was not there....and no, I do not know how he was behaving...but--- when you first posted I wondered if......the idea to ask for psychiatric hospital came to difficult children mind as a way to not get in trouble with police.....like maybe he thought of it after the police came? As in...geee, the police might take me to juvie..but, if I ask to go to psychiatric hospital, then I won't end up in juvie.

    BUT....with all the rest going on, too......I am not sure I woulda called police, I think I mighta called ambulance to transport to phsop instead of police. I did not know all the rest of the stuff when I wondered if it was an alternative.
    BUT your last paragraph about what difficult child thought psychiatric hospital would be like also reinforces my idea that he did not pick phsop for the purpose of getting help- but as the easiest way out of the mess he found himself in at the moment.