difficult child Wants A BB Gun

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Jan 20, 2013.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Like I need difficult child to be armed with any sort of gun!!

    This came up on Friday night. All his friends have them (I doubt that). He's the only one who doesn't have one. He'll pay for it. It's not fair. I told him that I don't like them because I don't think they are safe. He twists everything I say and he says that "they're only unsafe in the in the hands of mentally ill douche bags." Then all of a sudden he looks at me and starts screaming that I said he's mentally ill and that I'm a "useless piece of sh**" because I said he was mentally ill, which I never said. Then he was like a pit bull, refusing to let go of the issue because I said no and did not consult husband about it and that his dad will let him have it. So, I finally said that he could ask his father about it, but that if dad said no then that was the end of the conversation. I didn't want to hear any more nonsense about it.

    Then he calms down and said he was sorry for calling me nasty names, and while I accepted his apology I also told him that I was really very angry with him. He then told me that I had to ask his father if he could have a BB gun. I said no. He wants a BB gun. He needs to be the one to ask his father about it. He started all over again. That's not fair. "You know that I'm afraid of dad. I shouldn't have to ask him about this." I held my ground and remained calm and quiet and told him that this was his request; not mine. He wants it. He asks. All of a sudden difficult child changed his mind and said that he would not ask husband for it and that he would "wait a few years" before asking for one. And he said that I was not to bring up the subject with his dad.

    I actually did mention it to husband, whose response to me was, "like that's ever going to happen."

    At least husband and I are on the same page about something!
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hahahahaha.

    All I can say that, I would echo your sentiments.
     
  3. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    He's afraid of his dad? Maybe you should act like dad so he'll be afraid of you instead of abusing you. Just a thought. LOL

    Yes, that is a familiar type of conversation in our house too (minus the dad part since there isn't one). Change of mindset can be a bear. At least he did come around (for whatever reason) AND he apologized. You handled the whole thing perfectly. Keep it up.
     
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Lololol
    We don't even have nerf or water guns here!

    Our boys must have read the same "mean names to call people " book
     
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Bunny--

    Though I doubt that "all" of his friends have BB guns - the new airsoft pistols are quite the rage among the 12 to 15 year old crowd. My easy child son asked for one this year for Christmas. I asked him what he wanted one for? He replied "So that me and my friends can shoot at each other!"

    BZZZZT! Wrong answer!

    So DS did not get a BB gun.

    And I think you made the right call, too. in my humble opinion, there is a responsible attitude toward guns (and other potentially dangerous things like CARS) and there is not. If a young person is not demonstrating maturity and responsibilty - then they are NOT ready for these items.

    Good for you (and good for your husband) for standing strong!
     
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Laughing to myself because we have had this conversation many times at our house. difficult child begs for a BB gun or bow and arrow. We say no. He goes on to tell us many reasons why he has to have these. We say no. He continues with when he is 18 and can buy them on his own. We say yes he can but then he won't be living with us. He pouts and gets over it and saves the conversation to bring it up another time.
     
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I almost threw up when I read the title of your post and thought to myself...oh NO...please NO!

    Never get BB guns. They are so dangerous. Number one they look like real guns and someone is gonna get shot by a real gun. This isnt the world of Its a Wonderful Life. The only guns my boys ever had that werent "real" guns were paintball guns and that was when they were 16-18 and they had friends of the same ages. We set up hay bales and wood pallets in a field in front of us and they all dressed up in padded suits and played army. Oh they wore helmets and goggles too. We didnt believe in play guns.

    Guns are used for one thing...KILLING.

    If your son wants to know about guns, take him to a shooting range and show him what guns do. They will be glad to show him. I guarantee he will be taken aback by the noise, the power and the kick of a gun. Its not a video game. Its not a toy. Its business. Its real. Its actually scary. Shooting a shotgun for me is hard. It leaves a bruise.

    Your son may be old enough to take the NRA gun course. Find out. If he is showing this type of interest he will try to shoot one of his friends guns. You do not want him to come in contact with one when he doesnt know what he is doing. Better safe than sorry.
     
  8. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I might get pelted here, but my son has several air soft guns (and the orange tips always stay on). But never, ever are they used for shooting "each other" or anything living. He sets up targets in the backyard - empty cans, bottles, milk cartons - whatever he can find in the recycle bin or trash can!

    He is also second in charge of the marksman team through his JROTC at school. He competes with other high school teams around the area using air soft rifles. He also wants to join the Air Force upon graduation.

    I think you have to know your child. The fact that you son got so violent so fast would be the decision maker for me. I think you made the right choice.

    Sharon
     
  9. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member


    Hahahaha!! That's so funny because that is EXACTLY what difficult child said to me. "Well, when I'm 18 I can buy one and there is nothing you can do about it!" My response was that if he is living in my house, he is living by my rules. If he wants to buy a BB gun, or a soft air gun, or a fire arm of any kind, once he is a legal adult there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. I CAN, however, decided what can and can not be brought into my home. If he wants a gun, he has to find another place to live.

    That started this argument that he starts every now and then (usually when I make a decision he is unhappy about) that it's not really "my" house. Dad is the only one who works. Since dad pays the bills it's really Dad's house and I shouldn't have a say in anything that goes on. I point out to him that if he goes by that logic then he has no say in anything, either, because he's not doing anything to pay the bills. For some reason that logic doesn't seem to apply to him.
     
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon your son isnt taking his gun outside the home and into the community. So many kids get BB guns or pellet guns and they look exactly like real guns - rifles and hand guns. Some of the hand guns actually lock into officers gun belts. That is extremely scary because how on earth is a police officer, or anyone really, to know that a kid is holding a BB gun and not a 9mm that can blow them away? I mean a BB gun can sting but it wont kill but that 9 mm will but no one can tell until its too late. Some idiot kids think its cool to brandish that gun as though its real to make themselves look cool. I simply dont understand it.

    I dont have an issue with what you are allowing your son to do because I know you are responsible enough to teach him not to point it out the front window at cars driving by.
     
  11. HopeRemains

    HopeRemains New Member

    Thank goodness you and husband are on the same page about this one! My SS (9) has been obsessing over getting a bb gun for a year now. Biomom overheard me tell his Boyscout leader that he wants one but won't be getting one for years (this is before I realized he's got Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) issues, even)... and Biomom snorts and says to her Mom "I guess we know what we're getting him for xmas!". And so, she did. Now he has a bb gun over there. Then husband's Mom got him a bb gun, too! All I can do is shake my head and thank god that none of them ever came to husband's house.
     
  12. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    As far as I know, he hasn't told anyone else that he wants one, but even if he did tell others they would ask me first before buying him something like that. At least I think (hope) that they would!
     
  13. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    And that's really a whole other issue - isn't it? To some parents - airsoft guns are perfectly harmless TOYS. Ugh! And the kids DO shoot them at each other and use them in all sorts of ways that they shouldn't because it "isn't real" and it's "just a toy".

    The fact is that airsoft guns come in different varieties - and some of them are quite powerful and CAN and DO cause injuries.

    in my humble opinion - an airsoft gun should be treated as a GUN because that's exactly what it is....and it should be used the way one would use any other GUN - for target shooting only under the supervision of an adult.
     
  14. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    BB and air soft guns look just like real guns with one exception - they come equipped with a bright orange tip at the end of the barrel. You are required, by law, to keep the tip on. Many years ago, there was a young man in our community who thought it would be cool to force off the orange tip and walk around in public with his "gun". That young man was shot and killed by police.

    They certainly should be catagorized as weapons, because they are. I agree that adult supervision and knowing your child are absolute musts for those considering bringing one into the home.

    Sharon
     
  15. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    In all honesty, the real reason I don't want him to have one is because I just don't trust that he will not turn it on me or easy child in one of his fits of rage. He is not trustworthy and I refuse to put myself or easy child in any more danger that we're already in just living with him on a daily basis.
     
  16. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    And that is exactly the right reason for saying NO! Good for you!
     
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    The kids in our old neighborhood liked those Nerf guns then a couple got the air soft guns. Back when q was playing with them a little, two of the boys talked him into letting them shoot him. Q wanted to join in so badly he said yes. I found out when at night, after he was in bed he told me. He said it still hurt and I looked and there were bruises. But, he'd do it again if I let them. He was so desperate. I didn't even like how carried away he got when they shared the nerf guns with him. It just depends on the kids. I didn't know they had them. Big lesson learned. Mine is not one who can handle even pink plastic water guns, for real!
     
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Buddy exactly. We didnt use water guns. Know what we used? empty dish soap bottles or water balloons. Or they simply ran through the sprinklers.
     
  19. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    difficult child 3 has a huge armoury of just about every Nerf weapon ever made. Other than that - nope.

    difficult child 1 is into swords and swordplay. He started with throwing knives which he idiotically took to school (and got suspended for it).

    Attitudes around weapons and mental illness - cheeses me off. A 'friend' of mine on Facebook is a Scientologist who has posted stuff in the past about "dangerous" psychiatric medication and hoe doctors who prescribe it should be struck off. I called him on it, asked him to publish the INDEPENDENT scientific research backing up his claims, while at the same time I found some INDEPENDENT (ie not funded by the pharmaceutical industry) research showing the opposite. The last time we exchanged words, I had explained to him what I meant by independent scientific research and primary sources. he said he would get me the references, he had loads. I heard nothing more from him.

    He posted yesterday that school shootings are caused by psychotropic medication. I posted, "Let's not go here again. I'm still waiting for the independent medical references you promised." I then posted a reference giving the opposite finding (not an opinion, but a finding). He replied with, "I'll get you those references." No more posts (which I find especially hateful under the circumstances). [Aussie bad word not allowed by site censors, referring to his lack of married parents].

    Marg
     
  20. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    difficult child has Nerf guns. Lots of them. And he sets up targets and things like that in the basement, but that's as far as I'm willing to go.
     
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