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difficult child wants to move home
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 257237" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>The biggest problem you and he have is that he doesn't realize he has a problem. If he is using, kicked out and homeless and still doesn't think he has a problem, I truly don't know what you can do to help him. I'm not sure what I'd do in your shoes if he were unwilling to face the fact that he has a bad problem. If he is VERY thin, suspect cocaine usage. My daughter was really a stick when she snorted coke. Those baggies could be coke rather than pot--our drug using kids never tell us the truth. They say "I'm smoking some pot and drinking" because it sounds better to us than "I'm using ecstacy, cocaine, heroine." Sadly, I learned all this from my daughter who has given me quite an education in drug usage since she cleaned up her act. She sometimes tells me more than I want to know. I did make her leave our house at 18, but she went to her brother's house. It was a risk for her because he is so straight he would have had no problem tossing her out in the cold if she broke one rule. She didn't break any rules. In a brand new state, without a car, she got a job and walked to work and she quit both drugs and even cigarettes. She made me a believer in tough love, in spite of how I cried for three weeks after she left. She knew that if her brother hadn't allowed her to live in his basement for a while, she'd have been tossed on the streets. Her last words to us were, "I will hate you forever." We are very close now.</p><p> I'm glad we were strict with her when she was younger rather than letting her live a comfy drug-using life at 18. So that is JMO--I wouldn't make life easy for him or he could be 25 soon and still the same way.</p><p>This is not YOUR fault. This is his fault. If he hadn't gone this route, he wouldn't be in this situation. Don't ever blame yourself. I wish I had words of wisdom. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 257237, member: 1550"] The biggest problem you and he have is that he doesn't realize he has a problem. If he is using, kicked out and homeless and still doesn't think he has a problem, I truly don't know what you can do to help him. I'm not sure what I'd do in your shoes if he were unwilling to face the fact that he has a bad problem. If he is VERY thin, suspect cocaine usage. My daughter was really a stick when she snorted coke. Those baggies could be coke rather than pot--our drug using kids never tell us the truth. They say "I'm smoking some pot and drinking" because it sounds better to us than "I'm using ecstacy, cocaine, heroine." Sadly, I learned all this from my daughter who has given me quite an education in drug usage since she cleaned up her act. She sometimes tells me more than I want to know. I did make her leave our house at 18, but she went to her brother's house. It was a risk for her because he is so straight he would have had no problem tossing her out in the cold if she broke one rule. She didn't break any rules. In a brand new state, without a car, she got a job and walked to work and she quit both drugs and even cigarettes. She made me a believer in tough love, in spite of how I cried for three weeks after she left. She knew that if her brother hadn't allowed her to live in his basement for a while, she'd have been tossed on the streets. Her last words to us were, "I will hate you forever." We are very close now. I'm glad we were strict with her when she was younger rather than letting her live a comfy drug-using life at 18. So that is JMO--I wouldn't make life easy for him or he could be 25 soon and still the same way. This is not YOUR fault. This is his fault. If he hadn't gone this route, he wouldn't be in this situation. Don't ever blame yourself. I wish I had words of wisdom. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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