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difficult child wants to move home
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 257383" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, the sad thing is, you WON'T know. I didn't know my daughter was using more than pot and alcohol (I thought she had bipolar and felt bad for her) and "just sometimes" a little speed until she told me herself after she quit. I had no idea that the "skinny" look usually meant heavy meth and cocaine because you aren't hungry when you use it. I never dreamed she'd actually shot up heroin a few times. I thought that once you tried heroin you were hooked forever, but she said she did it twice so I guess that's not true. She would use ADHD pills (easy to get, although expensive if you buy on the street) crush them in pillcrushers with her friends and snort them either alone or with cocaine. Did I know? Not until she quit and told me the whole nine yards. I just thought she was depressed and had poor self esteem and needed to be built up. And she used my Mommy Heart against me with tears and staring me straight in the eyes and saying, "So you don't TRUST me?" with indignation. The truth is, you have no idea what your son is doing, but in my opinion it sounds like a lot more than pot. Pot makes you hungry and lethargic. He probably wouldn't be in such bad shape only smoking pot, not that pot is a GOOD thing, it's just not as physically debilitating in the short term as meth or cocaine or some stuff they get over the counter and use (my daughter did this stuff too). I had a sudden education into Drug Use 101 after daughter quit and gave me Scared Straight because I was so straight myself and had never done any drugs at all. She'd been busted twice for pot so I figured that was what she was doing for the most part, but, boy, was I wrong when I heard the whole story. in my opinion your son's behavior is probably due to more extensive drug use than pot, but you'll never know from him because he's smart enough to realize that pot won't freak you out but meth and cocaine and ecstacy will. And he's probably good at conning even the experts, like my daughter was. She had them almost crying crocadile tears for her. She even had them blaming me for doubting her word (eye rolling here). Drug users lie so easily that it's not worth it trying to ask them. The only thing you'll know for sure is when they quit. There is a dramatic change in them when they stop.</p><p>My daughter quit drugs for a few weeks at a time during her eight years of drug use, but always gave back in to peer pressure. In her case, she absolutely DID want to quit, but had to leave the state to get a fresh start. She just couldn't say "no." If your son has not altered who he hangs around with, he hasn't changed his behavior either most likely. Druggies hang with druggies. And if a druggie tries to quit, well, misery loves company--my daughter was never left alone when she tried to go straight and she wasn't strong enough to just tell them to get lost. She looks them up now and then on Facebook or MySpace and all of her old friends except for one girl are or were in prison. She is one of two in her crowd who are clean and productive. She feels very sad that the others are still heavily into drugs/felonous behavior/not working, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 257383, member: 1550"] Hon, the sad thing is, you WON'T know. I didn't know my daughter was using more than pot and alcohol (I thought she had bipolar and felt bad for her) and "just sometimes" a little speed until she told me herself after she quit. I had no idea that the "skinny" look usually meant heavy meth and cocaine because you aren't hungry when you use it. I never dreamed she'd actually shot up heroin a few times. I thought that once you tried heroin you were hooked forever, but she said she did it twice so I guess that's not true. She would use ADHD pills (easy to get, although expensive if you buy on the street) crush them in pillcrushers with her friends and snort them either alone or with cocaine. Did I know? Not until she quit and told me the whole nine yards. I just thought she was depressed and had poor self esteem and needed to be built up. And she used my Mommy Heart against me with tears and staring me straight in the eyes and saying, "So you don't TRUST me?" with indignation. The truth is, you have no idea what your son is doing, but in my opinion it sounds like a lot more than pot. Pot makes you hungry and lethargic. He probably wouldn't be in such bad shape only smoking pot, not that pot is a GOOD thing, it's just not as physically debilitating in the short term as meth or cocaine or some stuff they get over the counter and use (my daughter did this stuff too). I had a sudden education into Drug Use 101 after daughter quit and gave me Scared Straight because I was so straight myself and had never done any drugs at all. She'd been busted twice for pot so I figured that was what she was doing for the most part, but, boy, was I wrong when I heard the whole story. in my opinion your son's behavior is probably due to more extensive drug use than pot, but you'll never know from him because he's smart enough to realize that pot won't freak you out but meth and cocaine and ecstacy will. And he's probably good at conning even the experts, like my daughter was. She had them almost crying crocadile tears for her. She even had them blaming me for doubting her word (eye rolling here). Drug users lie so easily that it's not worth it trying to ask them. The only thing you'll know for sure is when they quit. There is a dramatic change in them when they stop. My daughter quit drugs for a few weeks at a time during her eight years of drug use, but always gave back in to peer pressure. In her case, she absolutely DID want to quit, but had to leave the state to get a fresh start. She just couldn't say "no." If your son has not altered who he hangs around with, he hasn't changed his behavior either most likely. Druggies hang with druggies. And if a druggie tries to quit, well, misery loves company--my daughter was never left alone when she tried to go straight and she wasn't strong enough to just tell them to get lost. She looks them up now and then on Facebook or MySpace and all of her old friends except for one girl are or were in prison. She is one of two in her crowd who are clean and productive. She feels very sad that the others are still heavily into drugs/felonous behavior/not working, etc. [/QUOTE]
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