Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
difficult child was arrested for drugs and underage drinking
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 310646" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>One tends to go hand in hand with the other. I'm so sorry, Nancy.</p><p></p><p>Cultural differences again - I'd be grabbing her by the scruff of the neck and dragging her home. She would have to do a lot of fast talking (with me checking up on her, talking to her teachers at college) for her to convince me she was putting in ANY productive time at college, to justify her being permitted to stay there. I know she's legally an adult, but she still surely needs you in some way? Funding? Other financial support? Housing (in holiday time)?</p><p></p><p>"If you want us to continue to provide X then you WILL be in court on time to face the consequences of your actions."</p><p></p><p>While trying to handle tihs alone, it probably is simply too confronting, too upsetting and it's easier to pretend it's not really going on. However, this is a very bad habit to even do once, let alone get into. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes they need someone by their side to help them face the problems they have caused. Not to take it away or lessen the burden, not even to share the burden. Simply to help them organise their thoughts and actions in order to meet their responsibilities.</p><p>"First you need to know the charges. Then you need to find out whether you have to hqave legal representation. Then find out what is likely to happen. Will it be dealt with on the day, or merely listed for mention? Are you eligible for legal aid? when you talk to your solicitor, you need to be open and honest, so they won't find any nasty surprises when the arresting officer gives evidence."</p><p>And so on. Lay it out for her so she can understand it and follow it. Stand behind her firmly. Because while you stand behind her firmly, she cannot turn and run.</p><p></p><p>It all depends on where she is in this journey. You may have already done all this in the past and feel that for her, it would be counterproductive.</p><p></p><p>Whatever path you need to take, we are here.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 310646, member: 1991"] One tends to go hand in hand with the other. I'm so sorry, Nancy. Cultural differences again - I'd be grabbing her by the scruff of the neck and dragging her home. She would have to do a lot of fast talking (with me checking up on her, talking to her teachers at college) for her to convince me she was putting in ANY productive time at college, to justify her being permitted to stay there. I know she's legally an adult, but she still surely needs you in some way? Funding? Other financial support? Housing (in holiday time)? "If you want us to continue to provide X then you WILL be in court on time to face the consequences of your actions." While trying to handle tihs alone, it probably is simply too confronting, too upsetting and it's easier to pretend it's not really going on. However, this is a very bad habit to even do once, let alone get into. Sometimes they need someone by their side to help them face the problems they have caused. Not to take it away or lessen the burden, not even to share the burden. Simply to help them organise their thoughts and actions in order to meet their responsibilities. "First you need to know the charges. Then you need to find out whether you have to hqave legal representation. Then find out what is likely to happen. Will it be dealt with on the day, or merely listed for mention? Are you eligible for legal aid? when you talk to your solicitor, you need to be open and honest, so they won't find any nasty surprises when the arresting officer gives evidence." And so on. Lay it out for her so she can understand it and follow it. Stand behind her firmly. Because while you stand behind her firmly, she cannot turn and run. It all depends on where she is in this journey. You may have already done all this in the past and feel that for her, it would be counterproductive. Whatever path you need to take, we are here. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
difficult child was arrested for drugs and underage drinking
Top