difficult child was arrested tonight!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gwenny, Mar 10, 2009.

  1. gwenny

    gwenny New Member

    I had to go home to pick up some things and when I got there husband was screaming at difficult child because he left him work to do and he refused to due it and told husband he wasnt going to do it.

    husband went to get him out of his room and difficult child attacked husband. Kicking and screaming like a lunatic.. Omg it was horrible. I called 911 and cops came and handcuffed him and took him in the cop car.

    What a night!!
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. Sending a cyber hug your way. DDD
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Please update when you get a chance -- I'm so sorry it came to this, but sometimes it's necessary. Hope your husband is ok.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so very sorry, what a scary turn of events. How fortunate for husband that you were there to help him!!!

    Maybe this will help open his eyes about difficult child needing placement and then you can explore maybe re-uniting with him if that is something you want to do.

    I sincerely hope that the "system" doesn't just toss difficult child back into the home. He really NEEDS placement that will help him learn to make safe choices and not hurt people. It will be a LONG road to that point though.

    I hope husband presses charges, or that your state can with-o husband wanting to (here the state can press charges even if the family member who was hurt does not want to, but not every state or area is like that.)

    Gentle hugs adn a cup of tension tamer tea to soothe your nerves.

  5. artana

    artana New Member

    That's awful gwenny. Maybe with a tragedy like this one, husband will understand the weight of everything he's been leaving on your shoulders.:(
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    More hugs coming your way... In our case it took difficult child spending a night in juvie to get her help... Everyone was blowing her (and us) off. So things are working out now. But maybe this was just what he needed - it is awful, and stressful, but your, husband's and your other child's safety comes first.

    Is husband okay?
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I'm sorry this happened but I hope it will be the beginning of a road to some solutions for both you and husband and that troubled boy. I have walked in your shoes and I know how unreal and horrific and upsetting it is to see a kid physically attack his parent. My difficult child went after my husband a couple of times and me once before he finally broke my rib with a forceful kick while I was sitting on the floor painting woodwork. So I also know what it feels like to be the parent that was physically abused. (((HUGS))) to you and husband and easy child. I hope the road you are about to travel leads to healing for all. -RM
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, dear.

    Well, the silver lining is that your husband realizes now that there is a serious problem. Maybe now he'll get on the same page?

    I hope your stepson gets the help he needs this way. You never know.
  9. AnnMarieTN

    AnnMarieTN New Member

    I am so sorry. I had to call 911 on my son back in December when he attacked my mother. I know how hard it is to make that phone call, however it has led to my son getting the help that he needs.

    I hope that they will be able to get him some help and not just seek punishment. The Juvenile Center here has a Director of Mental Health Services. She has been working with me to get services for my son. Check and see if your area has a mental health person at the courts too.

    I will keep you in my prayers.
  10. C.J.

    C.J. New Member

    So sorry to hear this turn of events, though not all that surprised.

    difficult child was "stabilized" in days and released back to home setting with limited resources, and within the hour is his old self again.

    There are times I'd like to do the "nananananana" cheer when all the people with multiple initials behind their names have less knowledge, understanding and EXPERIENCE than I do about difficult child issues. Why would any "learned professional" consider what I have to add to the equation? Remember, I am just a mere mortal without multiple initials behind my name.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    If this is what it takes for your family to turn the corner and everyone realize that difficult child needs help, AND just having him out of the house isn't the answer? Then it was worth it. It broke my DF's heart the first time he called the police on Dude, but the yelling and arguing had to stop. It just had to. So with Dude in Department of Juvenile Justice - we decided to take his time at the therapist and use it to get a game plan together for when he did come home - and it took every bit of all the sessions for both of us to realize a lot of things WE were doing wrong as parents. Sometimes with a kid like ours HOW we say things is more important that WHAT we say and having parents who KNOW to walk away when we want to go strangle them is a learned art. -really.

    Hugs for your entire family. Hope this really gets everyone help!

  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope husband gets the picture now and starts actively seeking help for difficult child. Sending many hugs.
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds very scary. I do hope husband is more on the same page with you now. Gentle hugs.
  14. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It is a lesson we should never have to teach our children. Nobody is allowed to abuse me. Nobody. Just because I love you does not mean you can do illegal things to me. It is important that you show your children that lesson.

    But, I am sorry you had to attempt to teach it to your own child. I hope he learns the lesson. HUGS!
  15. Stef

    Stef Dazed and Confused

    My son was arrested last summer for an outside the family issue with several other morons. He received court supervision for his efforts, and it has taught him a lesson. He tends to stop and think more now because he knows if he screws up, he's back in front of the Man. The court will most likely put your difficult child into programs to help with the behavior, psychiatric workups, possible Residential Treatment Center (RTC), amongst other things. Don't expect overnight miracles, and watch out for lip service from difficult child. They'll say anything to get out of a program. You'll think difficult child has "seen the light." My difficult child got arrested AFTER completing an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) stay. After the arrest he started to put it all together. We're actually thankfull it happened, as it has locked into a regimen. Get out of line, and the State intervenes. As parents of a Juvenille, we had to sign up to ratting on him if he get's out of line, or we can face the Man. You bet we're not gonna cut him any slack- and he knows it! He still has moments, but we now have some good cards to play when those moments arise. As an aside, I don't condone involving the State unless absolutely necessary. The consequences can be severe. Some kids just don't get it any other way though.