difficult child went to meet PO

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearthope, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    I did not rearrange my work schedule to take him this time, like I have done for the past almost 4 yrs.
    He got girlfriend to take him. He passed the drug test, but admitted to smoking pot about three wks ago when he went to an old friend's funeral.
    He told her he was starting work mon, he thinks (he made one call and they told him it was slow right now, MAYBE they would call him later)
    He told her he was staying at home(he showed up the night before and left right after seeing her)
    PO told him she was going to try to make a payment plan for him to pay back the family he robbed, so he had to have a job or he would be in jail. She also told him I could be held responsible for what he did (17)She also said that all of this was up to the judge and what she thought his punishment should be.

    I just feel numb..I have tried till I have no try left to convince him how serious this is..
    He just smiles "I got it mom, don't worry" He will not be still long enough to take care of anything.
    one person drops him off, he eats, goes through his clothes, another person picks him up, then another one brings him by, and so on.
    I am just waiting for the courtdate in 2 weeks we will find out.
    Part of me wants him to go to jail because of the way he is living and to pay for what he did.
    the other part is heartbroken that my son is in jail

    I am just numb and I am ready for this whirlwind to be over. He REALLY brings out the worst in husband, which makes me defensive for difficult child, which upsets easy child.
    I swear difficult child knows exactly what he is doing to us all when he shows up and gets a kick out of screwing us up
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Its so hard. I honestly wish they would come down hard on these kids the first time they mess up because then maybe they would learn that the law means business. Unfortunately our experience is that they slap them on the wrist and keep giving them chance after chance. We are on a first name basis with the local cops and they just call up when they want my son to come in and turn himself in and then they let him out again with NO BAIL! Beats the heck out of me. I cant see that he is learning a darn thing except that crime pays.
  3. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    [quote I swear difficult child knows exactly what he is doing to us all when he shows up and gets a kick out of screwing us up

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I think the kids know exactly what they are doing when these things happen, too.

  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I hope your wondering will be over in 2 weeks, HH.

    Rob's DUI/fleeing-the-scene fiasco has been dragging on since August and the sentencing still hasn't happened yet... supposedly next month. The suspense is harder for me than him, I think. He is either in blissful denial or really doesn't have a clue what the repercussions might be. :hammer:

    Hang in there.

  5. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Janet~you are so right! Throughout our whole struggle with difficult child he seems to have learned that whatever he does he can charm his way out of it. When his problems first started in jr high, he was given detention, all the other kids were in the detention room doing homework. My son was in the gym playing basketball with the principal!?! I have voiced my concern for him always getting off the hook to every authority person he dealt with. I always got the same response- He's such a great kid, he has so much potential we are going to give him one more chance.
    We also know ALL the police officers,sherriff deputies,PO officers by first name. And not just our little town but all the surrounding towns as well.
    Every place he has been sent to,jail,Residential Treatment Center (RTC),grouphome. I have always been questioned as if I was the problem and I was over reacting to what he was doing. I was always told my son doesn't belong in here. And it always depended on the amount of freedom he had if he would show his true colors are not. Really the group home that he escaped from is the only place that saw his true colors. I still believe all the others felt sorry him because he was such a great kid and he just got stuck with an overbearing mom.
    I think when he was on the run and ran from the sherriff deputies on foot and then robbed his exgf family, maybe the others took notice of what he was capable of.

    Sorry to ramble on, guess I needed to vent my frustration with the whole thing.

    Barbara~ I do think he knows exactly what buttons to push on all of us, just as he walks out the door. We are left with the frustrations and hurt feelings, and he could care less` he is gone on his merry little way.
  6. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    :hammer:"Blissful Denial" That is it.
    Maybe if we could have some blissful denial we wouldn't suffer the heartaches and stress that difficult children give us.

    My difficult child makes the most of each day, he is surrounded by his difficult child buddies doing whatever he wants to do. He has no concern or worry about ANYTHING. I really think he thinks he can just charm his way through life. :hammer:
  7. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    "Blissful denial"......."pushing our buttons".......yep, I can relate. I hope you can calm down somewhat during the next two weeks.

  8. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    My difficult child 1 readily admits to being able to manipulate a situation and to being charming. My difficult child 1 although, does get caught and thing's don't necessarily work out. As they get older, it's very hard to erase or change what they've done in the past, especially when they are sincerely trying.

    Such a waste..........
  9. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    my son too got away with it all thru his charms. but it did catch up and he pays the fines now or he will go back to jail.

    one thing is that you may be responsible for his bills since he was underage. ant once stole a shirt from a dept store when he was under 18. it cost me 200.00 and we did not even get to keep the stolen shirt. :frown:
  10. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Hopefully the judge will look at all my past appearances in court letting her know he was out of control and I needed help.
    If not, I don't know how I can afford to pay it at this time.

    Just waiting...I can already tell the difference in my sleep patterns.

    Living with difficult children are bad for your health