difficult child will be home

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Aug 6, 2008.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    tomorrow as he has been asked not to return to camp for the day. Last Wednesday when he was at a water park he had problems and the same thing today.

    Today he punched another child he felt was ignoring him. The other kid punched back and difficult child used some inappropriate language. According to the camp counselor difficult child threw the first punch, in difficult child's version the other boy did. He did say he tapped the guy first trying to get his attention. Long and short of it, who threw the first punch doesn't matter. difficult child has to learn it's not acceptable.

    Of course, it throws a wrench in husband's and my plans for tomorrow. I'm not really sure how to handle him tomorrow. We usually let consequences at school and camp be dealt with there but I also don't want him to enjoy being home too much, Know what I mean??

    I guess in some ways with all the camps he has been at this summer, and all of his issues, it's amazing this is the first time he has been asked to stay home. Still, it's a disappointment.
     
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Oh, I know how it feels! I'm sorry things turned out that way for him, and that you now have a kink in your plans for the day :( I've been holding my breath for MY difficult child all week for the same issues. It doesn't make for a very relaxing summer when you cringe every time the phone rings...

    {{{Hugs}}}
     
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Sharon,

    I'm sorry to hear this .... though not surprised. Let me rephrase that, I'm surprised it hasn't happened earlier. (wm wouldn't have lasted this long.) This camp must be staffed very well to have handled difficult children behaviors/choices all this time.

    Where does crisis team support come into this? Can they be called when difficult child is behaving in an unsafe manner? I would think that would be the optimum time for them to step in. Of course, if I had to choose between their service at camp & at home, I'd save it for home use.

    Now, what is on the agenda for difficult child today? Hmm, counldn't handle fun, he must need chores. Dusting, vacuuming, mopping the floors. Of course, it's no fun being completely glued to Dad's side for the day ~ because dad will have to make sure that difficult child is making safe & appropriate choices. AND difficult child will have to practice with Dad. Hard on Dad, harder on difficult child.

    Hope this "campless" day makes an impact on difficult child.

    Big ((((hugs))) for you & husband. :crying::flower:


     
  4. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Agree with Linda, no fun for the day.
    Probably you and husband splitting the day. One takes him for the morning and the other takes him for the afternoon so the whole family doesn't get punished for his poor choice. Might be a good day to spend attention on easy child if she is being a easy child.
     
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon,

    I agree with the others. With all the programming difficult child has been involved in this summer, I think it's admirable that he has made it thus far. You have to question how much of what happend yesterday was boy stuff and how much was difficult child stuff. I don't think it's unusual for boys to have a disagreement, and they seem to resort to the physical stuff first, However, it is important that our kids learn what is appropriate behavior and what is not tolerated.

    I would not let difficult child use the wii or the tv during the hours he would have been at camp. Have him do some little things around the house, do some summer reading, boring stuff.

    If it were me, I would remove the retrictions at the time he normally would come home provided he is able to understand what was wrong with the incident and was compliant with the rest of the day's restrictions.

    Sharon
     
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gvc-I do hate those dreaded calls. At least they waited til I picked him up so I wasn't worried about it all day. I hope your difficult child makes it through camp with flying colors!

    Linda-For now crisis team is letting camp and school handle stuff that happens there which I think for now is appropriate. Yep a day filled with chores and agenda will be most of his day and other boring stuff. Too bad as I was hoping to get to the pool since it never materialized yesterday.

    Fran-Good idea to spend some attention on easy child today. So far she is acting pcish-probably because she wants to meet a boy at a shopping area today so that will be her fun for the day.

    Sharon-I agree some of it was some of the boy thing in this and unfortunately my difficult child is always the first to get involved in the physical end of it. We will be lifting his restrictions around 4 which is usually around the time we pick him up.

    Definitely a long day ahead. I'm hoping he gets the message and there are no more campless days until there is no more camp for the summer. I am very glad he has made it this far and hope he pulls it back together.
     
  7. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am so sorry. Is this camp for children with special needs? I would think if it was, they would be better equip to handle this and he wouldn't have been asked to leave.

    So sorry your plans have to be infringed upon. I sure do know all too well what that is like. Our lives are built around our difficult children!!! :(

    Hang in there and thanks for your kind words regarding my thread. God bless. :)
     
  8. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sorry! Finding fun extracuricular activities for difficult children versus the potential problems they may create is a careful balancing act that usually collapsesw on top of us parents. But still we try and I give you a lot of credit for that!

    Unfortunately a parent will end up being punished as well since someone will need to supervise difficult child but I'm thinking chores! Clean out the garage, wash the car, mow the lawn, clean out closets, something tedious!
     
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hang in there! Most of us have been there and all-in-all this doesn't sound so bad (as compared to mine, anyway). I think boys in this age group tend to resort to getting physical pretty quickly whenever they have a "spat". It's the testosterone. Throw in a difficult child handling the situation and really, it probably could have been a lot worse. If this is the first incident he's had at camp this summer, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Mine seemed to have issues several times every summer, until last year. He did great last year and so far, is doing well this year. (I hope I didn't just jinx it!) I honestly believe that puberty really does a major number on our kids.
     
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