difficult child Would Not Get Out Of Bed This Morning

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Mar 9, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    And according to him, it's all my fault.

    I went him his room this morning to wake him up and remind him that he needed to take a shower. He says okay. Ten minutes later he's still not up. I got into his room and wake him again and remind him that he needs to get up. I was speaking very softly and gently. It's not like I was yelling at him to get out of bed. He sits up and says, "I KNOW!!!! JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE!!!" I leave, thinking to myself that it's going to be one of those days.

    He never gets up. I get up about 45 minutes later. I get myself ready to take a shower. I go into difficult child's room and ask him to come downstairs so that I can get him his medications before I jump in the shower, which is what I do every morning. His medications before my shower. This way I know that he's taken them. He sits up in bed and starts having a fit because he didn't take a shower and it's all my fault. Why is it my fault, I asked. Because I went into his room "a hundred times" to bother him, so he decided just not to get up in order to punish me and now that it's too late to shower it's my fault.

    I told him that I was sorry if I made him angry as that was not my intention at all, but that he made the choice not to get up. Him and him alone, and that I was not going to accept the blame for that decision.

    Great way to start the day.
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    it's all my fault. Why is it my fault, I asked. Because I went into his room "a hundred times" to bother him, so he decided just not to get up in order to punish me and now that it's too late to shower it's my fault.

    Yep. been there done that. Strangest thinking. Don't even try to reason it out.
    Sounds like a nice Time Out, or revocation of privileges later in the day, when he's calmed down and able to reason.
    So sorry. Many hugs.
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hi Bunny. Excuse me for asking the bleeding obvious, but is your boy getting enough sleep? Is bedtime equally a battle? Forgive me if you have spoken about this in other posts. Would it be any different, I wonder, if he were to awaken by himself - would he get up then??
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Time to get him a nice loud alarm clock and put him in charge of getting himself up. Tell him you are sorry that you bothered him in the morning, and you realize now that he really is old enough to take responsibility for himself.
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Its FRIDAY. End-of-week burnout? (we had years where it was mid-week burnout... sometimes as early as Tuesday)
    You ARE keeping a journal, right? These kinds of things are an irritation today, but it pays to LOG them and then look back for trends. How often is this a problem on Friday, in particular?
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I think that he gets enough sleep. He has always been really good about going to bed. Somehow I just got into his head that bed time was bed time and I was not going to argue about it. Sometimes he's laying in his bed watching televison and he gets comfy and he falls asleep.

    As far as an alarm clock goes, he has one. But he sets the alarm for 4:30 am. He gets up when the alarms goes off, and goes right back to bed. Sometimes he manages to get himself up about an hour or so later, sometimes he doesn't and expects me make sure that he gets up. Sometimes I wake up early and can get him up, sometimes I wake up when it's time for me to get up and if he's not up I'll get him up.

    The alarm clock that he has can be set to two different alarm times, but he refuses to let me show him how to set it so it will go off twice. "It's too hard!" he tells me. It wouldn't be too hard if you would just listen to me and let me show you how!

    I do think that part of it is the Friday burnout things, too. He truly hates school and I think that he works really hard to keep himself together while he's there. I do think that by the end of the week he's exhausted by the effort. Does that make sense?
  7. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Oh Bunny do I understand where you are coming from. My difficult child was/is the same way. She has actually said almost the exact same thing about it being my fault because I nagged her too much?! Seriously? I do not even engage her when that happens. (And, it has been a couple of weeks now) I let her just complain, and when she gets home from school I let her know what the consequence is. I do not even bring it up before. It just sets up for more fighting.
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Gosh - we ARE raising the same kid!

    My difficult child, too, never made an argument about bed times - it was as if she just accepted that bedtime was bedtime and that was it.

    And she will do the EXACT SAME THING with her alarm clock. She will set the time for 4:30 or 4:45 am and then turn it off and fall back asleep.

    We used to have battles over getting up for school - but after husband made it clear that he would pour ice on her to get her up (and actually did once or twice)...she generally gets herself up for school. Every once in a while she will oversleep, but when we wake her she will jump up and get ready. It helps that husband and I leave at a certain time, so difficult child knows she cannot stall beyond that.
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    So... next question... what is causing the burnout?
    (Yes, that is a real question, not a rhetorical one...)

    Hidden disabilities and undiagnosed issues... are most often at the root of problems that confuse us. Which makes sense. We - and the child - don't know what we're dealing with, and therefore can't even ask for (much less get - a different problem, of course) the interventions, accomodations, etc. that will make a difference. For the child, it's even worse... they get all sorts of incorrect labels slapped on them at school especially... and the whole system is just plain wrong.

    Ever tested for APDs? especially the hidden ones like auditory figure ground? (that was driving ours to insanity, and was the biggest single cause of burnout...)