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difficult children, curfews, boundaries ...help!
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 530024" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>I went in and woke her an hour before we were to be at the Red Cross event and told her when we'd have to leave. She was pretty out of it and stayed in bed for another 15 minutes. She finally got up and staggered out of the bedroom. I very calmly said "I know what is going on." and she said "It's ok if you don't want me to go". Uh,no. They have paid for your meal, I told them we'd be there an hour early to help set up and you're going. She did some backpeddling, asserting that she was perfectly ok. I calmly said "No, you are not. But you need to be ready and ok in 45 minutes". She then tried "Ok, I DO have a hangover." I responded "It's more than that and we will talk later." She got ready and went. She was fairly worthless, but I think only I knew. She was respectful and polite and we got through it. </p><p></p><p>I'm letting her sleep right now but I'm getting her up in an hour and we are going to have a serious talk.</p><p></p><p>If she continues to smoke pot and drink, she will not be able to stay here.</p><p></p><p>She can no longer keep up the up all night sleep all day schedule. There is much to do around here, and she will contribute. (When she lived with me two summers ago, she was unemployed. I got her up every morning at nine and made her work until 5., 5 days per week. When she started working, I backed off a bit, but she still helped with the yard and cleaning. I need to get back to that)..</p><p></p><p>There is no reason I can think of for overnights...or at least no reasons that I can live with. I'm not adamant about a curfew, but she will have to let me know when she is coming home and then come home at that time.</p><p></p><p>I am letting her slide on rent for awhile, but we will agree tonight on when she will begin paying. She does pay for her own insurance, gas, cell phone, buys her own toiletries (sp?), all of her clothes and some of her food. She does her own laundry and does an ok job of picking up after herself. She has started saving also. She hasn't asked me for money since 2009.</p><p></p><p>Most likely she will leave to live with Mr. Ostrich who allows drinking in his home, turns his back on drugs (just as long as she doesn't bring them in the house), allows overnights and turns his head when she brings home internet dudes and dudettes. I do plan to tell her that, if she does choose to leave, I want her to do it ina mature way. The last time she left, it was horrendous and very painful. I'm putting the ball in her court.</p><p></p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 530024, member: 9175"] I went in and woke her an hour before we were to be at the Red Cross event and told her when we'd have to leave. She was pretty out of it and stayed in bed for another 15 minutes. She finally got up and staggered out of the bedroom. I very calmly said "I know what is going on." and she said "It's ok if you don't want me to go". Uh,no. They have paid for your meal, I told them we'd be there an hour early to help set up and you're going. She did some backpeddling, asserting that she was perfectly ok. I calmly said "No, you are not. But you need to be ready and ok in 45 minutes". She then tried "Ok, I DO have a hangover." I responded "It's more than that and we will talk later." She got ready and went. She was fairly worthless, but I think only I knew. She was respectful and polite and we got through it. I'm letting her sleep right now but I'm getting her up in an hour and we are going to have a serious talk. If she continues to smoke pot and drink, she will not be able to stay here. She can no longer keep up the up all night sleep all day schedule. There is much to do around here, and she will contribute. (When she lived with me two summers ago, she was unemployed. I got her up every morning at nine and made her work until 5., 5 days per week. When she started working, I backed off a bit, but she still helped with the yard and cleaning. I need to get back to that).. There is no reason I can think of for overnights...or at least no reasons that I can live with. I'm not adamant about a curfew, but she will have to let me know when she is coming home and then come home at that time. I am letting her slide on rent for awhile, but we will agree tonight on when she will begin paying. She does pay for her own insurance, gas, cell phone, buys her own toiletries (sp?), all of her clothes and some of her food. She does her own laundry and does an ok job of picking up after herself. She has started saving also. She hasn't asked me for money since 2009. Most likely she will leave to live with Mr. Ostrich who allows drinking in his home, turns his back on drugs (just as long as she doesn't bring them in the house), allows overnights and turns his head when she brings home internet dudes and dudettes. I do plan to tell her that, if she does choose to leave, I want her to do it ina mature way. The last time she left, it was horrendous and very painful. I'm putting the ball in her court. Dash [/QUOTE]
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