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difficult children driven by money?
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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 51699" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Loth, I'm not a big fan of reward plans because I want my kids to feel motivation from the inside rather than from the outside. So instead of "buying" their cooperation, I try to help them identify what's causing the meltdown and then work with them to find an acceptable solution (a la Ross Greene's Collaborative Problem Solving model). </p><p></p><p>My third-grade daughter (easy child/difficult child 3) had frequent meltdowns this school year about certain kinds of homework (cursive writing and math word problems). In both cases, anxiety was at the root of her meltdowns. For cursive, she was anxious because she's left-handed and hadn't been taught by the teacher how to form the letters properly. I also took her to an Occupational Therapist (OT) to observe her writing, and it turned out she was gripping the pencil improperly. Once she was taught properly, the anxiety lessened and the meltdowns disappeared. She is now very proud of her new and improved handwriting.</p><p></p><p>In terms of math word problems, easy child/difficult child 3 was having difficulty understanding exactly what the problems were asking and then melting down when she couldn't answer them. We are continuing to work with her on breaking down what the words mean and then translating them into math notation. It's a lot of work, but as she builds her confidence in learning this new skill, her anxiety is decreasing and we're not seeing as many meltdowns. I expect we will continue to work on this skill this summer.</p><p></p><p>I'm not going to tell you not to use money, but I do think this kind of token economy only works in the short term (and may lead to the "gimmes," which personally drives me crazy). In terms of word searches, can you figure out what is causing Missy to meltdown? Is she overwhelmed by all those letters jumbled together and frustrated that she can't find the words quickly? Can you teach her any tricks to find the words so that she is proud internally from the accomplishment rather than externally from the money?</p><p></p><p>I'll get off my soap box now. If you're interested in a more in-depth discussion of Ross Greene's techniques, you should read Treating Explosive Kids, written for clinicians but eminently accessible to lay parents of challenging children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 51699, member: 2423"] Loth, I'm not a big fan of reward plans because I want my kids to feel motivation from the inside rather than from the outside. So instead of "buying" their cooperation, I try to help them identify what's causing the meltdown and then work with them to find an acceptable solution (a la Ross Greene's Collaborative Problem Solving model). My third-grade daughter (easy child/difficult child 3) had frequent meltdowns this school year about certain kinds of homework (cursive writing and math word problems). In both cases, anxiety was at the root of her meltdowns. For cursive, she was anxious because she's left-handed and hadn't been taught by the teacher how to form the letters properly. I also took her to an Occupational Therapist (OT) to observe her writing, and it turned out she was gripping the pencil improperly. Once she was taught properly, the anxiety lessened and the meltdowns disappeared. She is now very proud of her new and improved handwriting. In terms of math word problems, easy child/difficult child 3 was having difficulty understanding exactly what the problems were asking and then melting down when she couldn't answer them. We are continuing to work with her on breaking down what the words mean and then translating them into math notation. It's a lot of work, but as she builds her confidence in learning this new skill, her anxiety is decreasing and we're not seeing as many meltdowns. I expect we will continue to work on this skill this summer. I'm not going to tell you not to use money, but I do think this kind of token economy only works in the short term (and may lead to the "gimmes," which personally drives me crazy). In terms of word searches, can you figure out what is causing Missy to meltdown? Is she overwhelmed by all those letters jumbled together and frustrated that she can't find the words quickly? Can you teach her any tricks to find the words so that she is proud internally from the accomplishment rather than externally from the money? I'll get off my soap box now. If you're interested in a more in-depth discussion of Ross Greene's techniques, you should read Treating Explosive Kids, written for clinicians but eminently accessible to lay parents of challenging children. [/QUOTE]
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