Today he's 17. He's still at my sister's house. In the past several weeks since running away, two of his core class grades have fallen by one letter grade (one is now a D!) My sister had said a few weeks back that the counselor's and my rules weren't working. I'm thinking her 'let him be' attitude isn't working either.
He had an out-of-state sports tourney two weekends ago. My sister picked him up from the school and my son lied to the attendance staff telling them I wasn't answering the phone because I was out in the parking lot. I called the school when I saw the caller id and told them that wasn't the case. He missed the next day, too, with no one calling him in. He now has to serve the unexcused number of hours in after school detention for missing school.
Immediately after I met with the staff, my nephew was speaking to the staff pleading my son's case asking if my sister could call in and excuse my son, blah, blah, blah. Between my sister and my nephews, my son doesn't have to do a thing. Why wasn't my son in the office pleading his case? Because he knows someone else will do it for him.
I picked difficult child up for a dentist appointment this week. We talked. All of his needs are met. He wants for nothing. My sister handles everything for him. He's not encouraged to contact us. He said he doesn't care about easy child at all and then burst into tears so at least I know he does care about his brother. I asked him about counseling. He hasn't done anything with that yet. I asked if in addition to his own counseling, would he be interested in counseling with me. He didn't answer and I haven't heard from him since.
My easy child and husband have gone about their lives, enjoying the loving, happy home we now have. I am saddened, missing him every day. I had hoped it would get easier as time went on. It hasn't. I've read Suz's link she re-posted recently on detachment twice a day, every day. (Thanks, Suz!)
He hasn't had any explosive or angry episodes since he left several weeks ago, which is a good thing, but let's be real... he also hasn't heard the word "no" either.
He had an out-of-state sports tourney two weekends ago. My sister picked him up from the school and my son lied to the attendance staff telling them I wasn't answering the phone because I was out in the parking lot. I called the school when I saw the caller id and told them that wasn't the case. He missed the next day, too, with no one calling him in. He now has to serve the unexcused number of hours in after school detention for missing school.
Immediately after I met with the staff, my nephew was speaking to the staff pleading my son's case asking if my sister could call in and excuse my son, blah, blah, blah. Between my sister and my nephews, my son doesn't have to do a thing. Why wasn't my son in the office pleading his case? Because he knows someone else will do it for him.
I picked difficult child up for a dentist appointment this week. We talked. All of his needs are met. He wants for nothing. My sister handles everything for him. He's not encouraged to contact us. He said he doesn't care about easy child at all and then burst into tears so at least I know he does care about his brother. I asked him about counseling. He hasn't done anything with that yet. I asked if in addition to his own counseling, would he be interested in counseling with me. He didn't answer and I haven't heard from him since.
My easy child and husband have gone about their lives, enjoying the loving, happy home we now have. I am saddened, missing him every day. I had hoped it would get easier as time went on. It hasn't. I've read Suz's link she re-posted recently on detachment twice a day, every day. (Thanks, Suz!)
He hasn't had any explosive or angry episodes since he left several weeks ago, which is a good thing, but let's be real... he also hasn't heard the word "no" either.
