difficult child's & Animal Science homework

[mstang67chic]

O
M
G
!!!!

I am trying my darndest to not laugh outloud right now. difficult child is sitting in the next room working on his homework. His Animal Science homework. Apparently they are studying reproduction this week. I've gotten a couple of questions from him in the last few minutes and I'm just dying here!!! :rofl:

First he asked what semen is. **thinking in my head: Um, hello! You're a teenage boy. I'm pretty sure you know what that is** Outloud I tell him that semen is the fluid that the sperm "live" in. (At this point, my hand is over my mouth to keep the giggles in) THEN he asks if girls have semen too. Now, I should mention that husband and I have both explained various things to difficult child over the years, with proper terminology. (er...at least on MY part....not too sure about husband) When I explained that no, we don't produce that particular fluid, he had another question. That one was regarding something that I just can't figure out a polite and acceptable-to-the-board way of putting. I managed to stammer my way through that answer because at THAT point, basically my entire fist was in my mouth to keep from laughing.

The things this kid comes up with!!!

 

[Debdeb1031]

lol...that's too funny....just let the boy order a playboy network block(i DO NOT have that station, but you can order it), or the HOT network block when they get bored 5 minutes later with playboy, just like anthony did when i left him home and trusted him when he was having a day off from school...needless to say...i believe most questions have been answered which saved me from the TALK...of course i'm hoping it wasn't bondage day or something similar, cause the boy will think that is the norm...lol..god help me

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

:bravo: :rofl: :teacher:

 

[TerryJ2]

So, the answers weren't in his book? Which animals is he studying? Gosh, we had to memorize all that in 7th grade. We had a test on it. Seems like once you memorize it, you've got it for life.
Or not.
Good luck.

 

[Star*]

THEN he asks if girls have semen too.

NOT UNTIL THEY ARE VERY MARRIED!

How you EVER kept from laughing is beyond me. ONLY because -

 

[Marguerite]

He's 17! And he still has no clue? Wow! And I thought difficult child 3 was clueless!

difficult child 3 was needing to know about how his body was changing. I have been banned from the bathroom for some time, although he sometimes forgets when he wants to tell me something, and walks out without his towel, totally unselfconscious. THAT'S how I know he's developing into Errol Flynn proportions.
But when he first began growing pubic hair, he didn't know why and he began plucking it out. I kid you not! Then it started growing in too thick and fast, and THAT'S when he told me about it, wanting me to 'fix it'.

So we got him "Where Did I Come From?"
Now, I've never liked this book - I feel it's too infantile for the age group who need it the most. And for the level it seems to be aimed at - it says far too much. But difficult child 3's extreme naivety, plus the urgency due to his age - it was just perfect.

So I got the book from the library and sent him off to read it (he has NO trouble reading - it's always the best way to get information into him).

In about fifteen minutes he came storming back into the room, shouting. "Why did nobody ever tell me any of this before?"
I too was stuffing my fist in my mouth.

And now, of course, we're into the "too much information" stage. He's now having occasional nocturnal (or early morning) 'accidents'. And he feels he MUST tell me about each and every one of them. Which he does - in a conversational style, as if I were telling him, "By the way, I bought some apples for you today." No lowering of the voice, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Grandma or big sister isn't within earshot - no, he just bounds into the room and says, "Guess what? Another one this morning."

When it comes to bodily functions, this kid has always been hilarious.
We were trying to toilet-train him, he still had accidents of both sorts especially overnight. We had just managed to have him dry through the night (so he must have been about 6 or 7) and was now toiletting himself in the mornings.
One morning I heard his usual crash through the toilet door like a SWAT team on a raid. "hmm, difficult child 3 is up," I thought. Then I heard him sounding VERY exasperated. "EVERY MORNING there's wee!"
Seems he had just been waiting impatiently for the day when all need to excrete would stop, permanently.

Ya gotta love 'em.

Marg